[30-CHALLENGE] THE THIRTY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 0

 

Relapsed on binge.Back to Day 1

 

Day zero of 30

 

Day 0/30
starting for the nth time... done 60 days once...

 

Day 6/30

 

My day 1,,

 

Day 11

 

Let's try this again. Day 1

 

4/30

 

Relapsed, it's true that you can never afford to lower your guard, a lesson for the next time
Day 0

 

26/30

 

Day 6

 

Day 1 of Day 30

 

Day 7/30

 

Day 1

 

Day 0

 

Day 12

 

-- Day 3. I will copy a part of the post I was writing but didn't post on day 0: "I almost got to day 7, but relapsed. I didn't sleep that well, and I got up earlier than optimal for my body to recover. I got really stressed up about..." I got stressed about family.
-- So, I'm trying my best to stay alive; I don't want to feel terrible after doing an act of self pleasure that is not supposed to be like that.
-- About cold showers, when I relapsed I stopped taking cold showers for a couple of days( Edit: I relapsed and then stopped taking cold showers for a while), but now I've returned with this habit. I feel like NoFap and cold showers are deeply related: If I don't have motivation and discipline to continue taking cold showers, if I have already started, I will very likely relapse on NoFap and if I masturbate I'll lose most of my motivation and discipline and most likely not be psychologically able to take cold showers anymore.
-- I'll see how this goes. I'm trying to maintain other healthy habits as well.

 

Don't give up! You got really far and even if you feel like you can't do this anymore, you certainly can. You'll be able to quit porn and masturbation, keep your head up.

 

Disaster was indeed imminent. I acted out later on that evening and blew up 55 days of recovery. I let anger and bitterness take me down during a very stressful time at work when I put my recovery practices to the side. I gave into the false promise that a little PMO would be a good stress relief. What a mistake. Since my Tuesday blow up I have been clean only 1 day. Yesterday was lost to full blown PMO multiple hour sessions when I had many, many better things to do. Today, I pick up the ashes of my recovery and I begin anew. Day 0 here I am. I accept that I cannot ignore my recovery practices and hope to stay sober.