Reflections after 300 days of abstinence

Hello Everyone,

For a little background, you guys can check how I recovered from PIED here. So I am going to try to keep this short as to how much I have gained and how much I have struggled and still struggling in my 300 days journey without porn and masturbation.

Achievements:

1. Curing PIED: The sole reason for me starting nofap and something which I was able to defeat after 8 months long journey. Just to clarify here, I haven't thankfully relapsed in my 300 days. If you want to read in detail about my recovery from PIED, you can read about it in the link above.
2. Time: I cannot believe the number of hours and energy I used to waste on PMO. I have only realized this during my reboot journey. To waste so much precious time and energy on something which isn't giving us anything in return is so ridiculous.
3. Loss of Cravings: I don't sexualize everything like a sex starved animal anymore. Since my marriage and nofap journey almost started together, they both could be the reason for this. It really has calmed my brain in this regard where it is not in seeking and wanting mode all the time. This only leads to desires which cannot be satiated by anything which further leads us to other addictions. This could be video games for some, binge watching tv, seasons, movies for others, food addiction, smoking, internet addiction etc etc
4. Developing Hobbies: This happens naturally with the additional time you get. I tried my best to not replace my porn addiction with any other addiction because that's what our mind tricks us into. I have tried to invest my time into reading books and exercising until now. A lot needs to be done for sure in this area since I feel that I am spending a lot of time still on the internet.
5. Developing Spirituality: Its not a coincidence that many people find spirituality on their reboot journey. It just happens naturally. When we unmask our the layers of porn addiction on our brain, things change. I won't write further on this here.

Struggling Areas:

Only and Only One! I have gone through multiple withdrawals during my journey and they are part of any addiction recovery. But the most difficult aspect of recovery for me at least have been the psychological aspects of withdrawals which still persist very strongly in my mind. I am still trying to find the answer to tackle this. Most long rebooters call them PAWS or Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome which may happen to those who started out on high speed porn at young age like me. They say it may take upto 2 years to heal from PAWS which means I still have at least one more year to go until I recover completely mentally.

Others say that since we have been masking our issues with addiction, they only come out on the surface more visibly after we leave our addiction. So it cannot be cured unless we address it directly and not wait for time to heal it naturally. Now the issue I have faced after leaving my addiction is social anxiety. Its like my brain has totally forgotten how to be with people and how to handle social situations and how to handle stress during social interactions. And its coming from a person who used to be very good at all of this while he was addicted.

With all the numerous benefits I have gained on this journey in addition to some I wrote above, this one struggle has been a killer for me until now. And I know I will prevail over this soon. Whether its time or whether its something I need to address, I am on it and will report soon to everyone here. Thanks for reading.

 

What type of exercise regime are you following?

 

You can read my recovery in my signature link below. I started my reboot when I had no choice left. I hope you don't drag yourself to that point where you have to pick between reboot and losing everything. And longer you delay your reboot, harder the ultimate rewiring process and more brutal the withdrawals