NoFap trial

Hey,

recently I had some bad thoughts and that's why I've decided to just try to do this. NoFap / Porn / fantasizing

I'm in for 30 days

 

Hey,

just wanted to say that day 2 was successful. Today it is a little bit harder. I try to avoid imaginations but sometimes they appear automatically and I try to ignore them.

 

Just wanted to say that I extend to 90 days

 

Hey,

Day 3 is done. Today it's a bit harder. I watched a film which contains one or two sexual scenes but I just didn't really pay attention to them and moved on. It's a little bit terrifying because since I've started my journey sexual actions appear in my thoughts out of nowhere. I'm not purposely trying to fantasize. I also had my first wet dream since my withdrawal. But I felt like I could affect what was happening in my dream. It really felt extremely real and I was thinking while dreaming. Then I woke up and felt really relieved about that before recognizing that I just had a wet-dream. Would you consider "accidental" appearing of thoughts and seemingly suggestible wet-dreams as a relapse ? Do you even think that accidental appearing of thoughts exist or would you brand this as a bad pretext ?

Best regards

ezmon

 

Hey,

day 4 is behind me and also almost day 5. It was pretty good until now. Occasionally I've seen some arousing thumbnails on YouTube. You know the usual ones in dubstep-videos to attract viewers. But you know I discovered a helpful technique which sometimes helps me to minimize the stimulation. Always when you see a pretty girl on a picture unintentionally, just look at her again but look at her in a different way. Imagine her not as a sexy woman but as a human. Try to realize that the breasts aren't there to be attractive but to breast-feed the babies. Imagine that the girl shits out of her rump all day which you usually find really attractive. And the rest of her body is just flesh and skin. Within her body there's a skeleton which doesn't look really attractive anymore, does it ? Don't see what your brain wants you to see. See a human of flesh and blood and try to find any aspect of her that would disgust you just like the example with the rump and shitting, you know ? Yeah, it seems to be an odd way to prevent you from PMO but it actually helps me. You can call it the wise look.

Thank you for reading and I hope that'll help you.

 

Hey,

just wanted to give you a quick update. I'm in day 6 now. Day 5 went well and I'm about to finish my first week. Sometimes it was hard because sudden urges appeared when I was sitting there while doing nothing. Boredom is still a big obstacle for me because it mostly leads me to PMO but yet I didn't find any hobby to practice. Nothing interests me and I'm to lazy and sleepy.

The last relapses always were caused by boredom. Either while laying in my bed at night not able to sleep or while sitting in front of the computer unsuspecting what to do.

But I keep fighting and won't give up.

Best regards

ezmon

 

My first week is behind me ! I am really relieved about this. But I'm still really unhappy because I didn't find an occupation to do while trying to quit PMO. I need a hobby to practice but it's very hard to find one. Until now I just waste my whole time in front of the computer or on my bed or sofas. I don't know what to do and this really is aggravating my journey you know? Because of my wide boredom.

Thank you very much.

ezmon

 

Hey,

Almost reached day 10 and I'm proud of that. BUT yesterday I almost relapsed. I was desperately and bored laying on my bed and wanted to grab my smartphone which was luckily uncharged and watch P. But in the last second I withstood and wanted to M because I said to myself that it would maybe lower the urge massively and I thought that M would be better than P. But then I pulled myself together and didn't do it though and tried to go sleeping instantly. It was really risky. But I managed it and I'm happy about it.

But I had a wet dream. It felt so real and it was a sexual dream. I felt so ashamed and desperate because I relapsed during my dream but then I woke up and I was so happy that it only was a dream.

With the best regards

ezmon

 

Hey,

today something not really good happened. You know I'm a real fan of Game of Thrones and yesterday I started to watch the 5th season and today in one episode there was a really, really, really arousing scene which I tried to avoid. Well I tried not to look at the girl and I didn't really payed attention to the woman but to the dialogue she was having with one another.

I was getting aroused of it but eventually I calmed down and kept watching further. Would you consider this as a relapse or is it just a trigger ? I have to admit I had to struggle to not watch at the screen and sometimes I looked at the woman. There were no sexual acts.

Nevertheless today was a really hard day for me. The further I get the harder it becomes. I hope that the thing with Game of Thrones isn't a relapse if not I look forward to day 13.

Can you give me advice ?

With the best regards

ezmon

 

Hey,

I failed. I watched porn could close it after I watched it for some minutes and then I closed it because I was too ashamed. I wanted to get away the urge and then I masturbated.

I feel really bad right now because I was really proud of my journey and I wanted to reach something. Now it's suddenly gone. But I have to keep on going and I reset my counter and made a new goal. 30 days not 90.