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I don't watch porn/fap from a while but I have a problem about my sexual life

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Solid_Snake!, Mar 4, 2020.

  1. Solid_Snake!

    Solid_Snake! Fapstronaut

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    Hello, fellas! Good to see that this forum is active and more and more people are quitting that trash called porn :)

    I started the no porn duty some years ago and I managed to keep a really long streak till today! I have to say that my life became quite better although I never had any problem or addiction with porn, I quitted it because I always considered it morally wrong and wanted to prevent.

    The thing is that I'm on a relationship now with a girl (almost 2 years) and it's been really good so far. The relationship is great and I'm very comfortable in my daily life (0 toxicity and bad stuff). The problem is that this girl has a really low libido. It seems to be some kind of mental problem from her past (like a trauma but softer, I guess). So I told her to go to a psychologist but she rejects the idea because she thinks that kind of therapy would be too much invasive or make her uncomfortable.

    So, when I stopped watching porn and quitting fap, all the sex I had was better due to this. But now, I'm kinda unsatisfied in my sexual life due to what I told you in this post. We maybe have sex like... 1 or 2 times a month? Something like that. And this is happening since almost one year.

    The thing is that sometimes, the idea of quitting the nofap/not using porn routine travels around my mind and I think about going back to thrash. What to do?
     
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  2. AfricanSunset

    AfricanSunset Fapstronaut

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    Female here. There might be other reasons than trauma that is causing her low libido. It might be that she doesn't feel connected with you. Or desired. Doest feel relationship is going anywhere.

    If everything is so comfortable and you are not married, she might feel neglected in some way or another.

    Sex for women and I believe for alot of men is not just aboit libido, but love, connection and protection.

    There can be quite a lot of reasons.

    Have you tried Kareeza?
    Thank you
     
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  3. Sargiel

    Sargiel Fapstronaut

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    If it was always this infrequent then I think you need to consider whether you are willing to stay in the relationship if it remained like this indefinitely. If you aren't then you need to talk openly and honestly with her about how serious failing to address the problem is for your relationship.

    I don't want to come across overly critical - but using this an an excuse to run back to porn would be just avoiding a serious problem in a relationship you seem to genuinely care about. As you've managed 500+ days I'm sure you have the strength to face this challenge just as capably :)
     
  4. Solid_Snake!

    Solid_Snake! Fapstronaut

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    Kareeza? Just read about that but never tried. How can it help me in this situation?

    About the other things that you told me, I also though about that. I also asked her directly about if there is a problem between us, but she seems to say that it isn't and gets "offended" about me doubing it. Also, you could tell she is telling me that there are no problem to be kind or to not hurt my feelings or whatever, but I have kinda proof that, outside of sexual level, we are both really happy with the relationship. Also, she is always talking about future stuff with me and this includes serious stuff like lifeplans together, getting a home soon for the two of us and that kind of things.

    Also, she had libido like 1 year ago and we had great sex. It was when she stopped taking the pill and someone very important for her... sadly died. She went kinda on a soft trauma and since then... this sex stuff is like this :( That's why I think it may be some trauma thing. So...

    I tried talking to her, but she seems to get really depressed and even cried once when I bring up this stuff.
     
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2020
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  5. AfricanSunset

    AfricanSunset Fapstronaut

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    Kareeza can help becouse the focus is more on intemacy than orgasms. It is very gentle sex. It leaves yoi forfilled and connected. The pil or any hormonal thing for women can also screw up a persons libido and cause depression and alot of other stuf.

    She is mybe in mourning and needs space and support. That is why kareeza kan help becouse there is no pressure for orgasm.
    If she in mourning she wil have low gaba. She can drink Vit b1 and 6( komplex), also take Vit D and fish oils abd Magnesium. But it will take time for her to cry all her tears. Go through the motions. There is no quick therapy for this. There is a difference between a trauma and working through loss.
    It wil take time for her to work through everything. Opportunity for you to practice loving support.

    Also she might feel that if she does not perform you wil leave her.
     
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  6. Solid_Snake!

    Solid_Snake! Fapstronaut

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    The thing is that it's been like 1 year from that unfortunate incident and she seems to have overcame it, I mean, she's happy in the daily life... just she doesn't own any libido.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Tempest12

    Tempest12 Fapstronaut

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    Can she get a hormone test to see that could be the culprit?

    There's also certain supplements that could help with libido.
     

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