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Wife and kids have eluded me....I know why.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by BruceD, Mar 4, 2020.

  1. Mar 4, 2020 #1
    BruceD

    BruceD Fapstronaut
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    It's time to say it. High time. This is an addiction. I am 50 years old and have no wife and children. I did have the pleasure of a 4 and a half year relationship with a lovely woman and her son. That's the closest I had. Of course, this was undone due to my addiction. Although other factors were there as well, this was an elephant in the room that obviously hurt her. She was resentful beyond what some women may be. Understandable. I managed to go about 7 weeks hard mode when we talked about getting married. We have been broken up for 4 years now, almost the length of our relationship. Have I learned anything? I don't think so. I am still PMOing. Maybe once a week now, but STILL doing it. Spending a good number of hours looking at...well you get the idea.

    I have never came really clean and admitted I am an addict. I have done my damndest to wall myself off from real relationships/real intimacy. I suspect I was doing this before high speed internet. I know what to do. But I had to get this out and just get very sober and clear-eyed with myself. So...we start the clock over for the hundreth or so time. If I keep going like this I am guaranteed to be alone in a one bedroom apartment with no growth or enrichment. Time to change for good.
     
    BruceD, Mar 4, 2020
    BruceD, Mar 4, 2020
    #1
    Protagonist, tout ça pour ça, Mordobarn and 1 other person like this.
  2. Mar 4, 2020 #2
    Deleted Account

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    Count your blessings i know of many people that are that age and married, most are misserable and i can count on one hand how many are happy or at least getting along.

    Thats a start

    Get rid of women who dont treat you good your parter should be suportive not resentfell MOVE ON FROM HER

    Progress over perfection its probly alot better than you used to be
     
    Deleted Account, Mar 4, 2020
    Deleted Account, Mar 4, 2020
    #2
    Protagonist, Metis07 and BruceD like this.
  3. Mar 4, 2020 #3
    Coco99

    Coco99 Fapstronaut

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    You need to start somewhere, if this is your bottom then you only have one way to go and thats up. Just focus on small changes in your life. Eventually these small changes will add up and get you to become a better version of yourself. These changes you focus on will leave you no time for pmo. Of course as males we might still have some urges here and there, but you just have to keep pushing forward
     
    Coco99, Mar 4, 2020
    Coco99, Mar 4, 2020
    #3
    Metis07 and BruceD like this.
  4. Mar 5, 2020 #4
    BruceD

    BruceD Fapstronaut
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    I am going to just write what I really feel. Thanks for the feedback. It means a lot. My life is mine to rebuild. For that I am grateful. I think now I am just going to be. Adding small goals each day. When I get urges it hit me that I should write about them at that exact moment.
     
    BruceD, Mar 5, 2020
    BruceD, Mar 5, 2020
    #4
    henryhill, Coco99, Metis07 and 1 other person like this.
  5. Mar 5, 2020 #5
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    Thats a great idea weather public or privete its a good idea to write out how you feel
     
    Deleted Account, Mar 5, 2020
    Deleted Account, Mar 5, 2020
    #5
  6. Mar 5, 2020 #6
    BruceD

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    I actually am tempted right now but just not going to. Got a headache and watching some TV. Make dinner later. I know I will regret it and lose energy, feel like shit. Nope not worth it.
     
    BruceD, Mar 5, 2020
    BruceD, Mar 5, 2020
    #6
  7. Mar 9, 2020 #7
    LeeUK

    LeeUK Fapstronaut

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    Bruce, thanks for sharing this. I'm 31 (32 next month) and feel like I've wasted too much of my life to pmo.

    Reading this has been a kick in the ass to be quite honest, it has made me think more about what I am doing to myself and has strengthened my will to become better.

    Don't think that you have no chance at 50 btw, there's still millions of single women at that age who probably feel the same way you do, minus the porn addiction of course! I have no idea if my words will help you at all but I'll give it a shot..

    If you ever want to break free from this and find happiness you need to do it NOW! Far too much time has been wasted and only you can make up for it. This might sound crazy at first but have you ever considered travelling to Asia to meet a woman? I myself have had a relationship with a Thai girl and she was amazing, if I was in a position to move there with her I would have done it in a heartbeat. In Thai culture women over 30 get put on the shelf, especially if they have been married before or have a child/children. They find it extremely difficult to meet someone after that and I'm talking about attractive, mid 30's early 40's women with careers and assets (house, car etc). I've seen men in their 60's married to beautiful women in their 20's, this however is more of a financial arrangement of course. Still an option though if that's what you wanted, plenty do it. I have no doubt in my mind you would meet someone out there and could have kids if you wanted. All you need to do is be clean, wear a nice shirt and be polite. Learn at least a bit of their language, this is important. They don't like men who drink and smoke a lot also. How do I know all this? I spent almost 6 months out there in total :)
     
    LeeUK, Mar 9, 2020
    LeeUK, Mar 9, 2020
    #7
    BruceD likes this.
  8. Mar 9, 2020 #8
    BruceD

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    Thank you for the post friend. Thankfully I have managed to press on and I think you and I are close on the counter there. Yes I have heard this! In fact I am friendly with a Phillipino woman. She has two small kids and her husband left her. Smart lady, we worked for the same company and I would chat with her thru Teams. I may go out there after this Corona stuff hopefully blows over.

    But first...I have to get enough time in to make sure my equipment works properly for live interaction if you know what I mean. But it is something I am looking into. To circle back, I have to realize NOW is all we have. Past is done. Make the best of life right now. Glad I could help out. Keep in touch please! Good luck to you my man.
     
    BruceD, Mar 9, 2020
    BruceD, Mar 9, 2020
    #8

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