40 and looking to fix this decade

Dont worry bro ,you can change anything as long as you are determined ,just be commited to self improvement .40 years you are still young ,exercise,meditate,cold showers really help alot

 

Hey @David2018 ,

I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator super powers and no special insite. I share my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) of what works for me.

Just another warm welcome and a heart felt hello. This community has helped me so much.

What worked for me was "working" it. It took hard work for me to complete a hard reboot (No pmo) for 120 days, then move into a Sex Positive mode.

First, reading the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals.

Then, doing the work. Writing in my journal and replying to introductions and other's journals.

Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found it on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational".

That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.

Then, watch this video:



--> L

PS -

One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:

@Iron Patience - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155794/
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@ludwig525 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155658/
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@PatrickR - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139570/
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@GeeWhizz - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152127/
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@Sunshadow - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/75108/

 

Welcome

 

David,

Your writing sounds very much like the way I journal. It is my hope that, unlike me, you are not being hard on yourself.

 

Hey @David2018 ,

When I got here I did the same thing day after day. My counter was always at Zero.

I read NoFap lit, I read journals, I posted. It took time, but I cleaned house, trusted my Higher Power and little by slow, it is working and I am in recovery for a few 24 hours.

--> L

 

Hey @David2018 ,

To be 100% honest, I also can't imagine what two months from now looks like on NoFap.

I don't do challenges or big numbers of days. I can't, it just doesn't work for me. To set a goal of 90 days (or any number of days) and to have only a couple or a few days "in the bank", then a relapse doesn't seem so important. After all the goal was 90 days and I only messed up 2 or 3 days.

So, I stopped. No more challenges, no more goals.

ODAT, "One Day At a Time". I didn't pmo today and I don't plan on pmo tomorrow.

I wish I were smart enough to have thought of that on my own, but I didn't. It's a common phrase in Alcoholics Anonymous (the anonymous part means I can't tell you who I saw or what I heard there, not that I can't tell you I'm in AA). Psst, I'm in AA.

In AA, I've heard many people with decades of sobriety say, "I didn't have a drink today and I don't plan on having a drink tomorrow". That's how it works for me as well. I have a few 24 hours in a row in AA (sobriety date 2/16/1996).

So, here is my NoFap story on "streaks".

When I first got here I couldn't put one day together. Really, I was setting my day counter every day back to zero. I thought about just stopping it and putting a great big ZERO DAYS! where the counter would go.

Then, disaster struck. No, really, disaster struck - we were hit by Hurricane Irma and lost power for 8 days. No power, no water. We were lucky we did have a generator that could run the fridges 5 hours a day and enough spare power to charge cell phones, etc.

Which in a way was bad. Verizon gave unlimited data to all their customers hit by the storm. And with a full battery on my phone and computer - you guessed it, pmo was back. Joy.

Anyway, I decided to stick to ODAT for no PMO the same way I've not had a drink. One day at a time. I put together a 120 day hard reboot. I went through it all, flatline, return of nocturnal and spontaneous erections, you name it, I experienced it. The thing is I really didn't plan on 120 days. In fact, I thought about stopping at 90 days and returning to a Sex Positive mode. But, I didn't know exactly how to define Sex Positive.

So, I went to 120 days of no PMO. Then, I switched to Sex-Positive mode.

Here is the link to my journal entry on that day https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...-what-its-like-now.144189/page-4#post-1233378

So, a wrestled with myself on that day. Do I change the counter back to zero because I'm changing modes? I mean after all the 120 was "meeting my goals" and now it's just ... "enough"! I yelled at myself. Seriously, I thought, just change the counter. No relapse, just a change in my program. It took me another two weeks or so to really enter a sex positive mode. Nevertheless, I'm happy with program, my counter and my group of friends.

Get busy and say hello on those profiles I posted. Just a hello. That's how conversations start and it's how conversations lead to friendships.

Thanks for the reply,

--> L

 

Hello - welcome back.
I just wondered about the dates of the comments.
The doors are always open. It’s your choice. Choose joy, choose clarity, choose peace.
The NoPMO journey is not easy but worth the effort.
You made the habit and you can break the habit.
The community will support you.

 

Welcome! I am 49 years old and I decided before my next birthday to be purified by PMO and to enter positive sex mode. A long journey that here on NOFAP is done together without any prejudice enriched by experiences of other fapstronauts and by the successes and failures of human people. Hello and good trip.

 

Hi David2018, welcome back. Your story sounds very recognisable. The time wasted, the potential not utilized, the opportunities lost, makes me sad to think about. I have no better advise to offer than what has already been posted before, and what you can find elsewhere on this forum, but wish you loads of strength and good luck overcoming your addiction. You still have the second half of your life in front of you, so this is worth all the effort. It's never to late to make a change, you can do it.

 

Just read through this post and wanted to say hello and welcome back David. I wish you strength in this journey and would encourage you to keep working on becoming the best version of yourself.

I would not say I'm much of an expert at this nofap thing, but some how I have managed to stay PMO free for 2 weeks, which is something of a minor miracle considering I have been hitting the PMO pretty much every second day or so for many years. I would stay the routine I have got myself into has helped - this includes a commitment to write something in my journal here on nofap and offer a few words of encouragement to someone else here.

 

Welcome back David. If I can be of any assistance, I'd be glad to help. Here's my journal, maybe it can be of some help to you. I have to be honest There's no easy way out of this for us old timers, but it can be done. With that being said, you really have to put 110 % of you into recovery to break free. I needed 4 years of tries and failures to be where I'm now, free of porn and compulsive MB after 25 odd years, but still with LOTS of behaviors and thought patterns that need abandoning/change, to make recovery permanent. Unfortunately it is as you've written; the longer you wait, deeper you fall and harder it is to recover, physically and mentally.