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My Loneliness or not?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Mar 7, 2020.

  1. Mar 7, 2020 #1
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    As a child I was very outgoing and extroverted. I was always into stuff and being involved in what I could, talking to people with ease, being outgoing etc
    I grew up in a violent abusive toxic unstable household but Then I had a traumatic event when I was 11 years old and broke and thought about killing myself, I was a child and had no control so I never healed because of which I slowly became more and more introverted as years went by still in pain, unknowingly.

    18 years later ... I broke again with a cocktail of an Ayawaska silent trip, a 40 day water-only fast,& the end of a 4 year relationship with my first gf, all in that order. I’ve always felt lost without a purpose and I knew something in me had to break and I did it.
    When it happened I started to have suicidal thoughts My mind was shattered My soul felt like it left me again & i was at work jus zoned out staring into blankness feeling numb jus sitting there
    & I asked myself “Why have I felt this before?” Then something amazing happened so many emotions overtook me and I’ve never felt more free at that point In like a a matter of seconds of asking myself that! I figured it out! Why I have been living the way I have the last 18 years! This time it felt different because I am now 29 and I have control. Everything feels different! I have feeling, Ive missed my laughter

    I feel like I want to get out more do more talk more meet more people etc etc Like I’m not afraid of death but I want to take more advantage of what time I have left. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much. But at the same time I really appreciate my loneliness that I’ve been living these past 18 years not really appreciate but I’ve learned a lot from it but I also feel the need to get out more. I’m slowly coming back together.

    If anyone has been through something like this or felt something like this I jus want to know how to approach this new person I am beginning to feel....



    How I’ve felt for 18 years of my life
    upload_2020-3-7_1-45-0.jpeg
    ART BY : @Miles_art via Instagram
     
    Deleted Account, Mar 7, 2020
    Deleted Account, Mar 7, 2020
    #1
  2. Mar 7, 2020 #2
    CH3RRY

    CH3RRY Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    Yes, it feels like waking up from a very fuzzy dream doesn't it? You finally realize the reason and meaning of everything that you've gone through. Similarly to you, I've also pinpointed a specific time and situation in the past when something happened to me. That point in time is when everything began that lead up to the creation of another life. There's your childhood/youth, and then there is that one occasion and everything that happened after that.

    And now there is a whole new turning point: the start of growth that you reached after all your adversities. You feel alive again. You feel passionate. Happy. Free. You finally see yourself from 3rd perspective. All those days you didn't understand, all that pain that didn't make sense. You just weren't able to see through it. But now you do. Everything that happened was necessary for you to reach this point. We will keep learning, until we really learn what it all means.

    Now that you've achieved clarity, go create the life and person you admire. Seek positivity and growth through gratitude and reflection. Love your fellow human beings. Destroy your insecurities and fears. Leave nothing on the table and reach for your goals! This is an amazing story, I'm very happy for you my friend. Can't wait to live this life! So live it now!
     
    CH3RRY, Mar 7, 2020
    CH3RRY, Mar 7, 2020
    #2
  3. Mar 21, 2020 #3
    fdy123

    fdy123 New Fapstronaut

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    alright.. i was exposed to pornography i was 9 years old (i am 19) now
    i just feel like you and i the guys of suicidal line became my friends :p
    what i am trying to say that you are not alone passing through this and lots of us are passing throught shit alone... just like me.. all my friends refused me.. my gf left me bcz of my addiction... my university is just like hell i think im the most stupid guy there...
    but you know what? i will never surrender and i will survive my rebooting bcz it is worth it.
    we are created to live a fucking happy life full pf relashionships and connections and success.
    so stop the fuck complaining and start working on yourself... read books workout.. take some cold showers.. try to talk with people.......
    and always remember.. you will always fail on your way to success.
     
    fdy123, Mar 21, 2020
    fdy123, Mar 21, 2020
    #3

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