35 and older accountability, Group 2

Hi Everyone,

This is my first message on this forum. I've never used forums before. I've tried so many avenues to get off porn, I'm hoping this will help.
I unfortunately slipped off the wagon 2 days ago. I've been reluctant to post on here partly out of shame. After about 10 days NoFap I find my urges become overwhelming and I easily cave in, this has been a regular pattern. It is a cycle that needs to be broken.

Could anyone advise as to how you have overcome this particular challenge?

For some time my mood has been low, this affects my resolve. Nevertheless I choose to keep going at this, hopefully after a fair amount of time clean my mood may begin to lift.

Thanks.

 

I had a great week at work. Struggled with poor eating, but no PMO for 1 week. Now I am at 1 week I need to fight for week 2 and make that a goal. I haven’t had two weeks in a while.

 

If you know that 10 days is hard, then know when that day hits and plan extra hard to be busy, care for yourself, and do what you can to pass that day. My experience is that the next day is easier once you pass those mountainous days. Sometimes I take a sleep aid on days like that, just to get to sleep and pass that day. I also plan to not be alone for as long as I can. I plan to connect with others through meals and phone calls and texts. I do fun non stressful activities.

Hope some of these experiences from me help you break through.

 

Thank you, some great suggestions. Will certainly try some

 

Hey Craig - welcome to the forum and thank you for your courage to share about your experience, we all been there and know how it feels.

To respond to your question in my experience abstinence is not sufficient - and only results in disappointment, though a good first step, it is only a first step.

Abstinence must follow new life routines which enables you to feel the joy of being, and enable the energy to flow from your lower energy centers (also called chakra centers) to higher centers.

To make it practical, Unless one is not consistently, exercising, eating a clean healthy diet, meditating, praying, going to holy and spiritual get-togethers, praying constantly and continually, forgiving his enemy, avoiding movies, entertainments that remind one of lust (almost ALL movies), and RESTRICT discipline of the mind to avoid lusting over people during the day with an iron will - a relapse is inevitable.

It sounds harsh and it sound depressing, but let me tell you itis not so,

It is the most joyful way of living.

Dont have to do it all together, you can start with one new routine, focus on that one thing, and just forget about P, your new life starts now.

Then if you relapse - having done ALL you can - you forgiveyourself, you share your insights and you make a new determination to try again-

This way again and again you try until one day like the rest of us, you wake up and you realize you actually CAN do this.

ask any thing you like we are here to help and support you.

Just remember you CAN. and YES it is worth all the sacrifice you can make.

 

Update: Day 162 waking up at 4 am - Day 118 NPMO, Day 32 No Caffeine

Vow of brahmacharya for March.

After doing my reading - I am now ready and committed to taking a public vow of brahmacharya - for the month of March.

For those who don't know what e means - it is translated as "conduct that leads to brahman" Bramahn is God in Indian, so the way of living which unites one with God - which is related to not only abstaining from all sexuality but also to constantly and continually transform the sexual energy into Oja in the brain and feeling the bliss of God here and now.

SO unlike contemporary celibacy which focuses only on not having sex, brahmacharya is actually a higher joy than sex itself, because it is the continual striving to feel/know and be one with God.

 

Hey guys,
Feel free to open up my spot for the next guy on the wait list. Im doing ok. Just not going online much lately and quite honestly, when I check in here, it reminds me of fapping. Id rather just do "out of sight, out of mind" for the time being. Thanks for the help gentlemen and I wish you all the best.

 

Aim just to beat that day. Don't think about getting to x amount of days, think about today. Today is the only day that can beat you.

Try to make changes in your life? eat better, work out, find a new hobby etc. When you get urges try and think of something you can do for somebody else. Sometimes when I'm at work and get urges I'll will make everybody a cup of tea or coffee.

It will get better, think about how you feel after you give in to those urges. Remind yourself of how low that horrible feeling is and know you will feel far better if you resist.

Stay strong brother and we are all here for each other, that includes you, you're not alone in this war.

 

Hope this works for you brother - be well. I did exactly what you say many times and I found myself back in the grip of my addiction - however I do hope you get what your looking for - but if for any reason you wanted to come back your always welcome. be blessed be free

 

Thank you for the support. Good suggestions for me to take on board.

So good to chat.

 

Hi, there are many great suggestions there, I'm hoping to incorporate some of them as I progress.

This addiction feel like an insurmountable problem, and yet I see people here making positive progress.

Thank you for your repsonse.

 

D179. Fighting. Only God knows how much I want to satisfy these desires, but sin is never the solution. I trust that the Lord will soon give me the relief I need. For now, I am no longer using my devices when I am alone.

 

Thank you!

Sometimes I think my progress is undeniable. I get glimpses of a new man, a happier man. But other times I think I'm moving backward.

You're 100% right: life is hard. And I know, for me, that it is best to accept it, and even embrace it as a challenge.

 

Thank you for your kind words!

 

Congratulations @Paf-On for reaching 90 days no PMO!! (Now 94 days!). That is something to be proud of. Thank you for sharing your struggle too. I guess the best accomplishments almost always include struggle.

 

Keep up the good fight! Congratulations on your success at work.

 

I slipped yesterday. My wife left and I had all day and went around my filters. I binged for hours. I haven’t turned back on my filters because I am trying to build some mental will power. I am trying to stay connected to recovery daily and know that porn is bad for me. Anybody have any good nofap posts about the damages of porn and why it’s evil? Really want to change my mindset.

 

Sorry for the late reply I don't login much lately.

Honesty I don't feel great. I seem to have highs and lows. Recently I have been quite low (maybe 3 weeks now). I'm getting through knowing it's not for ever.

I have a mild high functioning depression based on my own self reflection. What that means is I can still function in society and get done what I need to do. I work in sales (real estate). So I have no choice but to be a "people person".

I guess I just feel dull about life at the moment. I enjoy things like my hobbies but not probably not as much as I normally would. They provide a nice distraction.

Emotionally I'm quite numb. I'm not sure if I love my gf anymore or it's just this nofap thing messing with my brain chemistry. She is an absolute angel but I feel just kinda of "meh' about the relationship.

Maybe it will pass maybe it won't. I would hate to dump her and realise I've made mistake. At the same time if hate to string her along and hold her back. This plays on my mind a lot.

Hope that answers your question

 

For me avoiding porn gets easier. It's dealing with the fallout that's difficult.

I took up a new hobby and that really helped me keep occupied and obsessed with something else. In my case it was RC aircraft. It gets me outside, it gets me repairing (I crash alot lol) which is good cognitive exercise and I'm interacting with like minded individuals online that have nothing to do with porn.

So my tip would be find a hobby and engross yourself in it.