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A Few Questions

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Taternater, Mar 8, 2020.

  1. Mar 8, 2020 #1
    Taternater

    Taternater Fapstronaut

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    Hey so I am 24 married, but separated. I have a couple of questions....

    1. I have always struggled with porn and masturbation, but when I was living with my wife it was much easier to deal with because I had sex with her. Now, I don't know how people can not pmo. I understand not watching porn and masturbating if you are having sex, but if you are not having sex how do you not masturbate to get a release?
    2. What do you do when you are tempted? I had a couple of good streaks going (couple of months) because I have filters which help. I get my son every weekend and he has an Ipad, which doesn't have a filter. The temptation I get to look at porn on his Ipad when he sleeps is extreme. What can I do?
    Anybody who has gone through something similar to this. Your advice is much appreciated thank you!
     
    Taternater, Mar 8, 2020
    Taternater, Mar 8, 2020
    #1
  2. Mar 9, 2020 #2
    Deleted Account

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    Not wanting to sound simplistic but we just don't PMO. Period. we need to do it because we have a problem so we do it.
    Last time I had a 165 days of streak in which I never watched even a naked woman on a film. Nothing.
    For the second question you need to eliminate all the triggers, filters are good, for Ipad maybe when your son is around you can add a "rule" for him, that he must go to bed and block the Ipad because otherwise he would play with it too much, an exscuse that will keep you away from it.
     
    Deleted Account, Mar 9, 2020
    Deleted Account, Mar 9, 2020
    #2
    bluemax4 likes this.
  3. Mar 9, 2020 #3
    CodeTalker

    CodeTalker Fapstronaut

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    So if you use his iPad to pmo, you will touch your penis then the screen. The screen of your iPad’s son, that he touches everyday.
    Isn’t it disgusting ?
     
    CodeTalker, Mar 9, 2020
    CodeTalker, Mar 9, 2020
    #3
  4. Mar 9, 2020 #4
    Deleted Account

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    Listen man if you say to yourself oh my god i’m not going to be able to bust for god knows how long thats a bad mindset, time is an illusion i repeat, time is an illusion and you dont worry of not doing pmo tomorrow or next week your worry about today, how to not do pmo today and thats it. Me being on semen retention im not allowed to bust ever even while sex so if i say to myself holy shit how am i gonna resist like this for the rest of my life thats an instant relapse but istay to that mindset i wrote above
     
    Deleted Account, Mar 9, 2020
    Deleted Account, Mar 9, 2020
    #4
  5. Mar 10, 2020 #5
    Taternater

    Taternater Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply. Yeah you are probably right. I am psyching myself out thinking too far ahead. Why are you on semen retention? Is it the same as PMO?
     
    Taternater, Mar 10, 2020
    Taternater, Mar 10, 2020
    #5
  6. Mar 10, 2020 #6
    Taternater

    Taternater Fapstronaut

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    Hahahaha yeah I guess I never really thought about it that way. I mean I would clean it, but I get your point.
     
    Taternater, Mar 10, 2020
    Taternater, Mar 10, 2020
    #6
  7. Mar 10, 2020 #7
    Taternater

    Taternater Fapstronaut

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    That is really simplistic, not wrong, but is that your mindset when you get tempted. What do you do when you get those intense urges.
    My son is only three. I think he is way too young to have it, but I don't want him to feel like he is being punished when he stays the weekend from me... so I let him use it sometimes. Anyway he is too young to know how to block the Ipad.
     
    Taternater, Mar 10, 2020
    Taternater, Mar 10, 2020
    #7
    fg4795 likes this.
  8. Mar 10, 2020 #8
    Deleted Account

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    I do something different, to let know my brain that I don't seek pleasure that way, like I go to gym, I do some push ups, I meditate, and if it is really really strong I have a cold shower, but they are mine, you have other habits so it's normal that you want something different, maybe you enjoy reading, read your fav book when you are tempted, maybe it's videogames, play 30 minutes to free your mind. You have to gain control on your mind, and everything will be easier :)
    Yeah but it was only an idea I had in 3 seconds ahah, what I meant is that you could "use" your son as an exscuse to not watch it, for example second idea could be to play with him and tell him he must hide "his treasure", and he win if nobody touch it. You wouldn't make your son lose at your game just to watch a bunch of naked women?
     
    Deleted Account, Mar 10, 2020
    Deleted Account, Mar 10, 2020
    #8
  9. Mar 10, 2020 #9
    Taternater

    Taternater Fapstronaut

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    Alright yeah that could work lol. No I wouldn't make him lose because of that. That is a good idea! I will have to try it. Thank you!
     
    Taternater, Mar 10, 2020
    Taternater, Mar 10, 2020
    #9
    fg4795 likes this.
  10. Mar 10, 2020 #10
    Taternater

    Taternater Fapstronaut

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    Alright yeah that could work lol. No I wouldn't make him lose because of that. That is a good idea! I will have to try it. Thank you!
     
    Taternater, Mar 10, 2020
    Taternater, Mar 10, 2020
    #10
  11. Mar 10, 2020 #11
    Taternater

    Taternater Fapstronaut

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    Sorry that reply was supposed to be for THE SPARTAN CHALLENGE. I guess my big thing with the urges is that when I get them they are always at night, so I am limited on what I can do. Wow typing that out makes me realize that that is such a lame excuse lol. I guess I can work out or do a million other things. I am curious about meditating. How do you meditate, and is it worth it?
     
    Taternater, Mar 10, 2020
    Taternater, Mar 10, 2020
    #11

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