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32 days hard mode. Fighting HOCD.

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by diddykong, Aug 17, 2016.

  1. DayDreamer

    DayDreamer Fapstronaut

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    Nice to hear DiddyKing!

    I have read so many posts on ocd- forums about how helpfull those books are!
    I started to read ''You are not your brain''. After i will try ''Brain Lock''.
     
  2. Iwannabeme

    Iwannabeme Fapstronaut

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    Your honesting is very inspiring! Props to you my friend. Glad to hear your progess, keep it up!
     
  3. Blackhawk098

    Blackhawk098 Fapstronaut

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    Hello dude! Wow, it's an old article. Almost three years ago, i hope you're reading my reply.

    First of all, i want to congratulate you on your awesome journey on Nofap. For someone like you, i think you could escape the ring of PMO addiction because you have learned quite much during your first days, especially with your HOCD.

    I'm currently facing the same issue as yours. On January 2019, i developed HOCD or the Homosexuality OCD. It's like thinking that you are gay but you're actually not. I was looking at a picture of a half naked man and suddenly i almost got an erection. I was panicking SO much and i was thinking,"wtf man u gay?" for a lot of times. HOCD is very disabling, even if it's been 6 months, it still feels like it's here. The reocurring unwanted thoughts, the countless reassurance (looking at women/men to see if you are/n't attracted, checking on the internet about my own sexuality, trying not to be aroused especially when seeing men, stop doing the things/gestures that i'd normally do just because i see them as 'gay-ish', etc.) have been killing me recently. I know i'm not gay but my brain and body think that i am. It's very disabling, much more disabling than Rebooting i think.

    I've only seen one gay vid on the internet and it made me feel uncomfortable and cringe because it just didn't feel natural to me. I've always been crushing on girls all my life, although i've never been in a relationship with one before. I've always watched vanilla stuffs on the web, not gay stuff. However, i have no personal problems with gays or lesbians.

    It's just the mind playing the same tricks on me and i've been falling to the same trick. Reading your post here made me happy that someone out there is actually experiencing the same thing too! What do you think of my situation? Do you find something helpful to stop HOCD? Have you got any advices or insights on HOCD? Because to be honest, having this on my mind is making me depressed.

    Thanks in advance!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. Bellabon95

    Bellabon95 New Fapstronaut

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    Yo dude.!! I've only just discovered what I believe is the answer to my issues "HOCD" . Its been really playing havoc on me latley, my brain keeps telling me to tell someone that im gay, even though theres no evidence that I am, dont fantasize about dudes, always intrusive thoughts that I dont invite, I have a girlfriend of 5 or so years, can you imagine what its like, never told her whats going on between my ears.! Really brigning me down again, its non stop, all day, soon as I wake up, before I sleep.! Trying not to get to grips with the " I am not my thoughts" and stop asigning meaning to them is still hit or miss. Have been checking again lately, still arousal to women, but none to gay stuff.. utter confusion. Reading stories can be detrimental cause theres loads of people who talk of finding who they are late in life, some people always knew.. I still maintain ive only had erections whilst standing around women, sex deams about women 90% few fucking weird ones about dudes, porn induced perhaps.! Always viewed myself as a family man, kids wife, and envy that in others, apparenlty people who are genuniely gay are happy and dont feel sad or envious of straight couples.! Apparently it shouldn't be a torturous decision and years of sadness and depression and anxiety, its more of an "aaaahh" moment when people realise who they are.! Its made me suicidal at times cause thats not how I want to live.! How is this affected you.?
     
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  5. Bellabon95

    Bellabon95 New Fapstronaut

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    I also have stupid thoughts when I try and ve intimate with my girlfriend which is really fucking horrifying.! Its gets worse the more you abstain for PMO, before I knew what it was, I was still able to maintain a reasonably normal life with the odd intrusive gay thought or image, but I had a massive porn binge for like 6 months, always have but this one was worse than ever, the thoughts got worse and worse and worse then the more I watched girls to make sure i wasnt these thoughts, i could go about my day then, id get them in work around male colleagues, id again go and watch porn, get aroused, anxiety gone, after so long of this behaviour, making the OCD 10x worse it made me crack finally and full blown HOCD i guess, but its plagued me since i was like 16-17. Im 29 now ffs.! Shouldnt be having these thoughts at my age.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. Dreko229

    Dreko229 Fapstronaut

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    Yo bro id love it if you answerd. But ive been going through HOCD (Check my account to see my "Story") and its been litteral hell, constant doubt and pure anger. Its making me so confused with who i am and i dont know what sexuality i am really anymore. All i know is that before HOCD ive always been straight and ive loved girls since day 1. My question is will not fapping help a bit or a lot??
     
  7. Dreko229

    Dreko229 Fapstronaut

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    Yo bro id love it if you answerd. But ive been going through HOCD (Check my account to see my "Story") and its been litteral hell, constant doubt and pure anger. Its making me so confused with who i am and i dont know what sexuality i am really anymore. All i know is that before HOCD ive always been straight and ive loved girls since day 1. My question is will not fapping help a bit or a lot??
     

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