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Help Me Understand Women

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Rev2.0, Mar 11, 2020.

  1. Rev2.0

    Rev2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Curious to hear from men who have had a lot of experience with women (and from women themselves) about my situation at work.

    I work in a white collar office for a midsized company with a disproportionate ratio of women to men (at least 4 or 5 to 1 if I had to guess) including two in the C suite and a number of VPs (including my boss) and SVPs. On the social justice/PC/#metoo scale I would say the company is a strong 8 out of 10 i.e. very little tolerance for men keeping things anything but strictly professional with women and "spies" everywhere. I'm in my early 50s, 6 feet tall in good shape and considered decent looking and while I'm pretty low on the org chart I'm well respected and have been told I have a lot more influence on people than my title would indicate. I am married and very up front about that. Re my NoFap status I am typically somewhere on a 25 to 40 day streak that usually ends with a quick MO (not to P).

    Anyway, I invariably interact with the same 6 or 7 women at least once during a typical week and a couple of others less frequently. I don't typically seek them out, we just kind of run into each other (except one in my department I see every day). All but one of them are married or in a serious relationship and they're all between about 25 and 40 except for one in her upper 40s (who's in my dept, unattached and actually the hottest one of them all). Whenever I'm talking to any of these women they're doing the hair flip/tuck/fluff, crossing / stretching out their legs towards me, touching their neck or lips, playing with jewelry or an object, making deep and long eye contact etc. This is NOT how I was treated by women in my former workplace 10+ years ago, where I was basically invisible. (I also was big time PMOing back then.)

    Does the fact these female co-workers act this way have anything to do with me being on NoFap? Are they just toying with me to get attention or validation? Or is it since I'm married they figure it's safe? In general, have women become that much bolder in recent years? Or were they always horny but are now just trying less hard to hide it?

    Each of these women has something I find attractive so these encounters do add enjoyment to my day but I would never go further with any of them and I'm just curious what's behind it. Especially since my workplace is so against that kind of thing and everyone there knows it.
     
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2020
  2. Here's my opinion as a female:

    Highly doubt it, unless being on nofap has greatly changed your confidence level. I personally don't believe in that magic nofap superpowers stuff.

    Who knows?

    Possibly. Maybe they think you're handsome and want to flirt a bit, but don't expect things to go any further because you're married. Not saying that's a good thing to do, but I can see that being a factor.

    I'm not sure I would say these women are "horny" just because they're flipping their hair or flirting a bit. I also wouldn't really call any of this "bold." Overall, I think you're probably reading into their behavior too much.

    When I read things like this, not gonna lie, I always assume when someone is describing an 8/10 on the flirtation scale, reality is probably more like a 6. There are a million reasons why women touch their jewelry or flip their hair or stretch their legs, and most of those million reasons have absolutely nothing to do with sex. Nobody here can tell you what those women are thinking, so I would say what's the point of reading into it? You're a married man. Ignore it and move on with your day.
     
  3. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    Hey Man. I can definitely say that something changes when you are on NoFap. Something similar happens in my workplace. When I'm on PMO nobody gives a shit about me. But I don't think it's coincidence when I reach 30 clean days I start getting a lot more of attention. Even from my boss and her boss( both are female). Hell, sometimes they say out loud that I'm cute and they want to be with me, half joke half truth.

    And its not only from women, men co-workers seem more friendly. It's like flipping a switch. I don't understand how it works but it does.
     
  4. You can't understand women or men. You can understand a single person only. Because whatever you find applies to person A, might not apply to B and so on.
     
  5. Rev2.0

    Rev2.0 Fapstronaut

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    Great insights, thanks for a woman's perspective! Of course with coronavirus now I expect there will be a lot fewer personal interactions of any nature among coworkers for some time to come :(
     
  6. It's hard to say since the term "in general" is difficult to use when talking about a group of people. You also seem like you're overanalyzing it, but it could be a myriad of factors and attempting to pinpoint the exact cause is a waste of energy. Just enjoy it (and hopefully not act on it :p).
     
  7. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    First off nofap probably does have something to do with it. If you experience better confidence and energy then that's just going to make most social situations better on average.

    I think some people just like to flirt for fun, they may not mean any harm by it. I can especially imagine this being the case with a higher ratio of women to men (natural competitiveness), and the compounding factor of working in an office all day - something we're arguably not genetically prepared for. So there's that combination of boredom and some social outlet in flirting to relieve it.

    It would be a bit disrespectful for any man or woman to flirt with people all day, leading others on intentionally and all that. But at the same time, if nobody is getting serious feelings about it, some light fun can make the work environment a bit more interesting and pass the time.

    Touching and sexual connotations is where I draw the line personally, as it seems if nothing is going to eventuate then one person is going to be left feeling rejected or as if they're have their feelings manipulated so someone else can feel 'wanted'.

    And on the other side of the spectrum I have met a few women who stated they would never flirt with a man that they weren't actually interested in, and their actions back that up.

    It may be the case in a group environment like an office that you'll get a bit of groupthink and competition amongst women to see who can get the most attention. And it may be largely subconscious. I might be wrong, but that's my 2c.
     
  8. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    Heres whats happening. You are an attractive man, you are not only physically attractive, but it sounds like you are competent at your job and are well respected by people. They are doing these things probably fro a number of reasons:
    -they want to fuck you
    -they like attention
    -they feel unnatractive and they want to know they still have it
    -they are bored

    Regardless, whatever your doing it sounds like your killing it.
     
  9. Just want to reiterate the "you're a married man" bit. Nothing wrong with asking this question, but I would be cautious with how you are thinking about this whole situation. If you are married and committed to your wife, the intentions behind these women's actions really shouldn't matter at all. I could see this being a beneficial thing to ask about and they to understand if you are in the dating world and trying to navigate starting a relationship, but if you are already committed to someone, I don't see why this matters. I would say to ignore it and move on, not to keep thinking about it and talking about it with others. There's a big ol' slippery slope you are tiptoeing pretty close to, my friend.
     
  10. Inloverber

    Inloverber Fapstronaut

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    The topic here is so interesting! I will need to think about what to say first before I will give my opinion.
     

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