Accountability for All

Relapsed. Starting over again but I’m not defeated yet

 

yeah it is possible just don't overthink it. By day 60 most of the withdrawal symptoms will be gone anyway

 

Had a clean day yesterday, but relapsed today. I'm proud that I am able to have a real look and see the problem seperately.

 

Day four I will continue to post until I reach ninety days and beyond so I can choose to get there or choose to continue in mediocrity and stupidity and waste everyones and my own time let’s choose the right thing here we go

 

Day 9... well I think I finally got my reading bone back after so long, I read a whole bunch of my books yesterday. Woke up around four today which is nice. One more day of my first week of working out and then two rest days. Going to the clubhouse today for intake, excited and anxious to meet more people and get social.
On the NoFap front I'm doing good, keeping positive, keeping busy.

Yeah, it's pretty common I guess so I'm not worried.

 

Day 4, back to working out, feeling really psyched and motivated. Very hopeful this time I am going to get passed the 7 day goal. I will ensure I avoid alcohol over the weekend since I have noticed its my major contributor to resets especially during the hangover day.

 

Day 1 down. No surrender. I’ve fallen but I’m already back up and on that grind. Help me get this done boys

 

Done with Day 10. Onto Day 11. I saw a friends porn magazine when I was at his house, and it led to some serious cravings. Nonetheless, I ignored them and went on with my day. Day 11, here we are!

 

Yo. I'm on Day 10. Urges were annoying yesterday but I got through it, holy moly. Woke up early as heck again today. Only one hour before I want to get up but still... Just gotta withstand the bs.
"I'd rather die enormous than live dormant." - Jay Z
That quote and Jay's stare from the panic button really helped me yesterday I feel. He's a great inspiration.
The crap you tell yourself before you relapse is such hogwash. Today will be a long day for me I think, I'm going to keep myself busy by reading the majority of the morning, game a bit in the afternoon with other people, maybe go for coffee with fam, etc.. Probably not going to go for a walk or do outside stuff much since it's damn cold out.

I shall report back in case something comes up.. I don't wanna relapse, but my brain is messing with me I think, telling me there's the possibility of me relapsing soon, maybe not today but eventually. I wanna destroy that possibility, but alas we are only human. I am bound to make mistakes. This is not me saying I'm gunna relapse, I'm gunna do everything within my power not to but damnnnnn... Ok I'll stop rambling now.

 

Relapsed yesterday so back at day 1

 

Relapsed today..

 

Hey, dont beat yourself up if you did make sure you keep a positive mindset, its ok to relapse, it's a race not a sprint restart your counter and get at it again in full force, this time stronger and armed with the right knowledge!

 

Day 14 done.

 

Yeah. I'm not going to binge. We're human and make mistakes. This time will be better, it just gets better every time. This time I will meditate instead of just saying "I suck at meditating" and not trying.
Yup, gotta stop this idea that I gotta "rush it" to 30 days or 90 days or whatever... Note to self (and others with this problem): Live for today!

 

Well, the way I've been thinking about it is that I am transitioning into a lifestyle that doesn't include PM. I relapsed around 15 times. It takes a lot of relapses to get used to not doing it. It doesn't happen overnight. Be patient and realistic with yourself. Realistically, you were gonna relapse at some point. That's alright, that's supposed to happen. It's a part of the process, relapsing is all a part of making progress with that process.

 

Day 5 time to get going stop wasting time here we go

 

Day 2 down boys!

 

Goodbye Day 11. Hello Day 12.