First girlfriend because of NoFap. What I learned.

Hey guys,

I managed to maintain a pretty strict porn withdrawl. Of course there was one fap now and then (maybe two times a month, but without porn), but overall I managed to stay sober. The benefit came instantaneous after about two months in. I had my first sex ever in my whole life. Then my second time with a second girl about one month later and, again one month later, my first girlfriend (a third girl). We were together for two months and went different ways after that. Now I am single again. I quit doing sports and started eating unhealthy sugary and fatty stuff. That was about the time when I started fapping again. First time I went in 5 hours straight, after that every day at least an hour. Now I am single, hate my life and am the same kind of loser I was at the beginning of my journey.

So here is what I learned:
1. You can't relax on your achievements. Like J. J. Watt once said: "Success is not owned, its leased. And rent is due every day."
2. It's totaly worth it. What are 2 months of porn withdrawl in comparisson to beeing a chad?
3. For me, it wasn't only about porn withdrawl, but about the life change. I did heavy lifting, other sports and ate very healthy. In adition, I had a good night sleep. This quadrovirate helped me. I never enjoyed my life more. I felt powerful.
4. Never let go of youself if you ever made it to the point where you actually love your life. Of course you will have a bad patch now and then. For me it was the seperation of my gf in comparisson with stress in my bachelor thesis and exams. But that are the times where you need your sport, your NoFap-Attitude, your sleep and your nutrition the most. If you have stress and you stop doing sport in the same time, you hit your life in two different angles. If you the start fapping again, you will most likely fap all night long, losing time to sleep. And then you feel so shitty the next day, that you don't bother having a solid breakfast and instead you go to McDonalds. Well, at least that was my routine.
5. It's bad to have a relaps if you are a few days in reboot, but you lose so much if you have it months in. Don't risk it. You are never healed. There is no cure to porn addiction, because porn is not made to be consumed responsibly. It is made to be used compulsively. Please don't think "Ah, I have a solid and functioning life now, so I can manage to fap once." It's just not how it works. You will relaps and lose everything.
6. There are so many triggers in modern media, that you are better of not to watch Youtube videos or beeing on 9gag at all.

I will now get my life back in order and rise again.

Cheers.

 

I love how you say "I want to have a GF." Because the statement "I want to quit porn." would center your attention on porn.
I remember, that I said to myself in september last year "I want to fuck 3 girls this year." And I saw a shooting star and I wished this wish and it became my mission. Everything I did in my life from that point on was for this mission. It was so ridiculous that I - a 23 year old unkissed virgin - said to himself that he want's to fuck 3 girls in 3 months. But it kind of was successful. I think, my take-home-massage from this adventure is: "Have a powerful and ambitious goal. And live for it."
So envision your goal and live for it. NoFap and porn abstinence (even if it is life long) must never be the goal. It is always a tool only to achieve something much higher.

 

Do you have a goal that you are fighting for? (if I may ask)

3 girls on the same day is nothing I would ever want. I need the feeling of safety and comfort if I am with a girl. And this feeling is only possible in an long term relationship with a partner that I trust and that trusts me. (Isn't if funny, that I wish for safety and protection from a girl, even though I am actually the male and should be the one who provides safety and protection? Don't know what wirering in my brain went wrong in my earlier years.)

 

I found that it is easier to have one goal, than to have many. Those are very good goals, and worth of persuing. But for me, it helps if I focus on one big leading goal. Thats the one I can push me for.