"Powerlessness" as taught in the 12 step programs

I've done 12 Steps and SAA, it's great, highly recommend you continue with it. For the first step, the realization that YOU are powerless over it is a powerful one... because part of the problem is thinking that YOU alone can solve this. You can't. If you could've, you'd be recovered by now. The first step of 12 Steps makes you realize you need a "higher power", which can be community, NoFap forum, an accountability partner, God, or anything MORE than you. So this actually doesn't conflict with things, it reinforces the fact that we ALL need help and can't solve this on our own.

 

RTQguy. I have been trying to recover using 12 step groups, thousands of dollars in therapy, accountability and a bookshelf full of books for 10 years.

Recently I read Napoleon Hill's book "Think and grow Rich" specifically the chapter called "The mystery of sex: transmutation" and almost immidiately went from struggling with PMO to total recovery almost immidiately. A few things that 2x4ed me over my head:
- most highly successful men have very high sexual energy.
- MO and especially the constant emotional viaualization of fantasized sex all DISSIPATES Emotional sexual energy that can be used for other things like influence, chatisma, imagination, charm, enthusiasm.... you know all the stuff that high impact successful guys, and fapronaughts exude.

The point being, fap is a huge wast of energy and power. And it takes maturity to discover that due to the mating biology that perpetuates the species.

Hill has a section discussing that moat men don't excell until well into their 40s and 50s. So at 63, your actually just getting started. .

Essentially, sex is like water, trying to contain or suppress is silly, but channeling and leveraging it creates power.

The other thing Hill talks about is how powerful women are at helping their highly sexed men. It sounds like your wife is very supportive for you, mine is powerful in some ways, but distroys any greatness by unbridled criticism so i dont experience this, but i could imagine that a supportive and loving wife could add colorful beauty to a powerful sexual energy transmutation by admiring, encouraging and desiring confident sexual energy from her man through admiration, desire, respect and mantaining a captivating sensuality about herself.

Ok so back to the topic i think the first step should read "powerless by myself." You admit that your stopping the ED meds to support your sobriety. That there Skippy is not YOU! It, along with your wife, and this forum are all things that help give you the power to recover, but not by yourself.

Darren Hardy says that will power will fail 100% of the time over time. The only way to change is to change your environment in support of a mindshift you decide you want. Like throwing away all the sugar in the house, or all the booze. So I suggest you have power over everything inside your mind, but you need stuff outside you to retrain your mind effectively. Without that outside support, you cannot change coping paradigms as powerful as addictions.

Bill (the catholoc) and Bill (the protestant) wrote the 12 steps book when there were huge divides brethren catholics and protestants. "Higher Power" was politically correct blather for God from 2 different views to enfranchize as many drunks as possible into the program that really works. Higher Power is God, and God created Nature in a way that works. Like when you go to 90 meetings in 90 days to rewrite habits onto your brain. That is also why nofap for 90 days begins to change habits like masturbating instead of enjoying your wife when we are stressed. Enjoying your wife takes alot more intentionality and attention than rubbing one out. We learned that quick fix at 13.

Lots of thoughts here. Thanks for reading this far if you did.

 

@RTQguy For some of us (me) the addiction, the pull, the urge may feel like swimmingly climb up Niagara Falls at times. There, will power alone is not sufficient and is easily and fast sneaking out the back door.
„I“ am powerless facing the addiction for the addiction is „I“, it is controlling me BUT, and here‘s the difference I learned working Step One ... over time „I“ am no longer helpless.
I have tools that help me: Sharing here on nofap or in meetings, Napoleon‘s insights, will power, meditation, affirmation, actually working the steps, a Sponsor, recovery/accountability partners, journaling ... HP, whatever that is (could be granny you loved dearly hehe), etc.

I don‘t like the idea of being powerless either, don‘t like handing things over to a HP „I“ construct for the sake of maneuvering myself into yet some other dependency. Yet, I literally experienced to be powerless over my emotional, hormonal, psychological, sensational bodily pulls and urges, powerless over this whole electro/magnetic, bio/chemical force of hooked piece of meat trapped in over decades of well rehearsed survival habit patterns, all interconnected, having a party on my peace of mind‘s costs.

My aim is to get rid of ALL dependencies hehe. As long as body is over mind „I“ am powerless. When the unconditioned Mind is back to directing the movie „I“ am set free.

„I“ do not claim to know the truth ... this is just a spiritual rant hehe.