Is this normal?

Taternater · Mar 15, 2020

So I would rather jerk off to watching a girl give a bj than to actually get a bj by a girl in real life. That seems so crazy. The only way I can really enjoy sex, at least the climax, is when I think about porn. If I don't think about porn then a lot of times I can't finish. Even when I was having sex with multiple girls I would think about the girl I was not having sex with or porn. I never thought about the girl I was actually having sex with. Has anybody else experienced this? If so will I ever get to the point where I want sex with a girl without thinking about porn or is porn always the ultimate prize so to speak? And if porn is not the ultimate prize, is oral the ultimate prize or is oral only so desirable because of porn? In other words would I even want oral if I didn't get hooked on porn?

I know that's a lot of questions even if only some of them get answered I would be thankful. Thanks in advance.

Rev2.0 · Mar 15, 2020

It's not "normal" in the sense it's how we are supposed to function--in fact it's the exact opposite--but it is completely typical. I knew I was into P way too deep at the point where the only way I could finish with my (then very attractive and passionate) wife was closing my eyes and replaying the dirtiest P scene I could recall in my mind. She was literally the farthest thing from my mind in that moment and only there to give friction to my dick in place of my hand. I think she knew that too, although she was too gracious to ever say.

The good news is, this mindset is reversible if you're really willing to kick porn to the curb and go through the reboot / rewire process.

Taternater · Mar 15, 2020

Rev2.0 said: ↑

It's not "normal" in the sense it's how we are supposed to function--in fact it's the exact opposite--but it is completely typical. I knew I was into P way too deep at the point where the only way I could finish with my (then very attractive and passionate) wife was closing my eyes and replaying the dirtiest P scene I could recall in my mind. She was literally the farthest thing from my mind in that moment and only there to give friction to my dick in place of my hand. I think she knew that too, although she was too gracious to ever say.

The good news is, this mindset is reversible if you're really willing to kick porn to the curb and go through the reboot / rewire process.
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Have you gone through the rewire process? I mean is it actually better, not from just a moral standpoint, but from a physical standpoint? In other words will sex be more enjoyable than porn if I kick porn to the curb or will porn always be what we want the most. I just wonder because if sex is truly better than how come when people go on these massive streaks they fall to porn when they can have sex whenever they want it? It seems like although porn is bad, it is always going to be everyone's ultimate desire more than sex. We hate it logically for good reasons, but at the end of the day nothing can get us a bigger high than porn in a sexual sense.

Rev2.0 · Mar 15, 2020

Taternater said: ↑

Have you gone through the rewire process? I mean is it actually better, not from just a moral standpoint, but from a physical standpoint? In other words will sex be more enjoyable than porn if I kick porn to the curb or will porn always be what we want the most. I just wonder because if sex is truly better than how come when people go on these massive streaks they fall to porn when they can have sex whenever they want it? It seems like although porn is bad, it is always going to be everyone's ultimate desire more than sex. We hate it logically for good reasons, but at the end of the day nothing can get us a bigger high than porn in a sexual sense.
Click to expand...

Why do men fall to porn when they can have sex whenever they want it? That my friend is the million dollar question and to be honest, I don't know. As for rewiring, I am going from what others have said and not my own experience. Rewiring involves sex with an actual woman and at the current time I am three years into forced abstinence from my wife due to some medical conditions of hers. Believe me, that is not a place I would wish any man to be. It's very strange because I should actually have the most motivation right now to go on a PMO binge from hell (literally) to deal with my deprivation, yet it's only in these last three years I've finally found the resolve to face the beast head-on and get serious about defeating it. It's almost like I feel compelled to acquire new strength as a man to counter the current weakness of my wife. I do believe she will come out the other side and I want her to have a better man waiting for her when she does.

Taternater · Mar 15, 2020

Rev2.0 said: ↑

Why do men fall to porn when they can have sex whenever they want it? That my friend is the million dollar question and to be honest, I don't know. As for rewiring, I am going from what others have said and not my own experience. Rewiring involves sex with an actual woman and at the current time I am three years into forced abstinence from my wife due to some medical conditions of hers. Believe me, that is not a place I would wish any man to be. It's very strange because I should actually have the most motivation right now to go on a PMO binge from hell (literally) to deal with my deprivation, yet it's only in these last three years I've finally found the resolve to face the beast head-on and get serious about defeating it. It's almost like I feel compelled to acquire new strength as a man to counter the current weakness of my wife. I do believe she will come out the other side and I want her to have a better man waiting for her when she does.
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Awesome well good luck! Sorry about your wife, but its awesome that you are stepping up as man to be there for her. I hope you stay strong. It looks like you have a huge reason to be motivated. As for me, my wife and I are married but separated (living an hour apart) so I don't know if things will work out between us or not. Either way I have the same mentality as you as far as whether we get things figured out or it ends up being with someone else I want to be ready. I want to be a better man. I think that we can do it. We will face temptations, but we should do it with smiles on our faces knowing that with each temptation we are that much closer to being the men we want to be.

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Is this normal?

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