In need of some advice

Hi,

I think we all people struggle with this more or less, the lack of confidence. So you need to figure out a way to get your confidence up. This is not a easy task because it sounds like you lack self-esteem.
First of I want to tell you that these periods comes and goes, for everybody. You need to have better way of handling your emotions rather than digging a deeper hole for yourself. Write down how feel, keep a journal either for yourself or on this forum. Write down how you feel why you felt it, it’s easier for you later on to read about the emotions you felt and why you felt them for you to learn how to handle them. This will help you when trying to quit your PMO-addiction, because then you will be familiar with all your emotional situations knowing that maybe your sad because of something which leads to anger which leads to anxiety which leads you to fleeing in to porn and masturbation.
Don’t fear your emotions, embrace them and learn to live with them, don’t forget that everybody feels these emotions what differs is how people handle them.
Second, you need to figure out how to get your confidence up, right now. Do easy task that you can handle just in order for you to feel that you actually can accomplish stuff. I.e make you your bed every day, you know this sounds like bullshit and you probably heard this before that making your bed is good for daily routine for blablabla, you know what? Don’t even hesitate make your bed every single day, this is a great start on your day knowing that one of your task is done.
Make a to do list with stuff you want to do, on basic easy level like grocery shopping, making dinner, going for a walk, saying hi to at least 5 people. And have some long term goals. (check out apples own to do list-app or “to-do” by microsoft).
Third thing you need to know is that only you can make the change for yourself. Get that into your head. You have a veto of all the decisions for your own mind. And know this my friend, you can make a change.

Im not a psychologist or anything near this, I’m just writing down my thoughts around your situation and want to give some advices. Live easy, make your life without the social media and stuff like that for a while, rest your head and be dedicated to your goals. Remember that doing change is being nice to yourself.

 

I'd say two things: 1) If you have not convinced yourself that you want to change you'll always find a way to pmo. So be true to yourself. 2) If you are indeed true to yourself but the nofap journey is a struggle, then you need to accept that you cannot do it alone and get some help; friends, family, professional, partner etc. If you really want to change, I think you ought to take more serious steps if you realize you are struggling.

 

Many people feel like this. It is a description of addiction. For me there was always that hope that someday I would be able to stay in the right track but no sense of how exactly. I just hoped someday it will be different, one if these times that I start again I won't mess up, you can see how I had just wishful thinking. It turns out this kind of hope isn't as helpful as another kind I encountered later, that of meeting people who had found a way to not have to use pm+, adding them how and then doing what they said. Obviously different than just hoping that one day in the future I'll find myself not going back to it, relapsing again and again as I had so many times; that kind if hope at least kept me trying and looking for a magic bullet, which after many years of hoping and wishing led to me finding people that actually had a way to do what I was hoping would happen to me. I think that was the difference instead of thinking in terms of the solution coming to me (for example I'll be different I'll stick my streak someday... Even the idea of a streak is kind of like that it's why I don't think it talk that way anymore) I would actually go to it and practice the solution. By doing things like honestly admitting out loud to another person that I wasnt able to fix myself, just a recognition of the data of my life with years of slips despite trying hundreds of hours worth of effort to stop.