Day 44. I need your support .

Hello Koufacha,

With your situation, I think there needs to be a straightforward conversation about building and establishing trust with this partner (or future partners should this problem not resolve or mend). I can say from experience that I ended a significant relationship that hopefully would have resulted in marriage to a very special person and that doing NoFap after the fact has its temptations or hangups.

I think that when it comes to being a good person, it's going to take more that just abstaining from porn and masturbation to do the trick. Are you setting goals to better yourself mentally (i.e. taking up a hobby or interest, talking to a counselor or therapist)? Are you taking care of yourself in other aspects of your body (i.e. working out, eating healthy)? The biggest question to ask yourself in your NoFap journey is this: With the absence of this addiction/compulsion, what can I do to fill that void of time and energy for my own sake? I've found that keeping a journal and documenting the time I spend on practicing music, reading, working out, etc. is very helpful when it comes to understanding and reflecting on what I'm doing with myself.

I apologize if this isn't a straightforward yes or no to the question "Will I be the good person my partner will want if I stick to NoFap?" Just like relationships, the answer isn't always simple. I think that I'm a better/good person not simply because I don't watch porn or masturbate; I think that I'm a better/good person because I've worked on myself and that work translates into confidence, will, and perseverance. Chances are if I were to reconnect with my ex, my excuse for what's different about being their partner now shouldn't just be: "Well, I stopped masturbating, so that has to be enough."

I hope this helps somehow.

 

Work on ur emotions bro or see a psychologist but basically I will advice if u really love her let her know what u are passing through that I'm sure will kill the tensions

 

If there is no trust in your relationship, from yourself or from her, I advise that you should have a deep serious conversation with each other. Why would you want to be with someone that you do not trust? Ask yourself, why do you not trust her? Is it jealousy or does she have a rollercoaster history? Is it something else? You do not have to give up on your relationship, but you can try to make it better. A simple talk can do sometimes already the trick.

 

Good work. Stay away from porn and you'll have better relationships whatever you decide