What should I know before hiring a LEGAL prostitute?

Some really good advice I read: "change your sexual expectations."

To me, that means I need to stop thinking about seeing a few dozen nude women each day on a computer screen. That's not realistic or healthy. Instead, I should expect to see, touch, and emotionally connect with just 1 woman, when the time is right.

We've been so far away from our biological norms dude, we're not meant to get anything "right now" except food and shelter. And even that requires a bit of work.

Life's a struggle, but the fruits are worth it.

I recommend you go easy on yourself, take your time, write down your goals and what things exactly are holding you back from achieving them. Solving problems like these is what brings happiness. And it's hard to find a partner when we don't feel we're moving forward with things.

 

There's your problem. To you, a relationship is about sex, gratuitous looks, and the size of your penis. (You've been watching porn, haven't you? ) To a woman, that's incredibly shallow and off-putting. That's probably why you can't get a gf — your attitudes show through your interactions.

Of course, you can get addicted to prostitutes instead. That's entirely your choice. I won't try to talk you out of it. But I will point out that you will be confusing sex with meaningful connection. See, sex as a part of a meaningful relationship is glorious. Sex for the sake of sex without a meaningful connection is empty and soul-destroying in the long run. I should point out that prostitutes know your buttons, and they will push them in order to get repeat business from you. But, as I said, that's entirely your choice.

Here's my suggestion, though, for something healthy and long-lasting. I suggest that you get out of the idiotic headspace that your height and penis length matter, and instead work on yourself as a man. Become a full character striving to be your best and for the best in life while retaining a solid moral and ethical base. Join in with your local community, maybe help a charity. These things make you a man more than height and penis length could ever hope to do.

 

Bruh... Giving excuses and letting bitterness seep into your heart is the easy route. But I guess, he is already too far gone to listen to reason. In his mind we are all wrong, narrow minded and rigidly stuck to the notion that self improvement and right stuff makes a man, instead of the incel crap and instant solutions.

 

I went through a similar thing earlier on in my nofap journey. While giving up porn, I seriously considered prostitutes (having the experience that it was bad helped me talk myself out of it thankfully).

It might be partly because we feel we deserve a reward for almost putting one bad habit behind us. It might also be partly because we still rely on sexual gratification to numb our emotions.

I think neither is healthy. I think we must process our emotions, literally kick the habit, and then go forward with our lives.

I've had a lot of past trauma come up as random emotions while rebooting. Getting bullied in high school, arguing with my Dad, having girls reject me. It sucks, but it's what I was always hiding from when I went to porn instead. It's seriously as if all the shit that was too much to handle back then, I get to handle right now, because my mind isn't preoccupied with constant distraction.

I look around me every day and see guys younger than myself who have their shit together a lot better than I have at 30yo. And I also see guys in their 40s+ who are less mature than I was as a teenager. I guess we get to choose when we grow up, and it's never too late.

Doesn't matter if it's porn, prostitutes, alcohol, even the damn TV. If we use anything to avoid responsibility, we sell ourselves short.

You can even learn 'game' and sleep with plenty of girls... But it won't give you what you want.

Look for the underlying issues. Take responsibility for everything.

 

In my younger (and dumber) years,
i was always unhappy because i wanted sex all the time, but didn’t know how to “get it”.
I thought if i figured out some magic combination of words and behavior,
I could have all the sex i wanted and more.
Well i never did, and ended up a pmo addict.

What i’m beginning to realize now that i’m older is there is no magic combination.
The problem was my faulty thinking.
My main objective was sex.
Dating women was just a vehicle to try and get sex.
I didn’t care about the women i was dating.
Wasn’t trying to get to know them as people.
But for some reason i thought if i went out on enough dates, i would eventually have sex.

Now i understand that making sex my main goal was the mistake.
When sex falls into the background and you focus on becoming a better person,
one that doesn’t have sex on the brain all the time, you start relating to people (and women) in a different way. You no longer have a sexual agenda and just genuinely enjoy the company of others. Women become attracted to you naturally, as they can read the change in your body language and your behavior.

The key to this transformation is abstinence from pmo.
It allows your brain to calm down and stop obsessing about sex all the time.

 

do you think having sex is the solution to your life problems? because if it is, then go ahead and visit the hooker. but you will probably find out it isnt, its gonna do the same thing for you as porn. while it is going to be in real life on the one hand, it will include health risks and payment on the other. maybe it is an experience you have to get, to learn that sex alone wont give you a feeling of inner fullfilment, peace of mind and happiness, and maybe you will want an acctual companion after trying out a paid one. but chances are you will only get more resentful and hate women, because you seem only to be able to get them when you pay for them to be with you. women wont change, you have to change if you want success. and since you claim youre good looking, its your personality you have to change, which is way easier said than done.

 

Here I realise that I was insensitive. You're right, they aren't idiotic. They're mistaken beliefs. We've all had them, and I shouldn't have been judgemental. I apologise.

Absolutely, yes, it's every bit as nasty as, say, heroin. Part of the healing process is to go through the "cold" and other emotional difficulties. When you feel those downs, don't fight them. Instead, recognise them as part of the healing, and welcome them. Allow those feelings to lead you to processing (as @Reborn16 said). Sit with the feelings, acknowledge them, and allow them to pass in their own time.

I believe you. Everyone has the capability of being outstanding, if they allow themselves to.

This is the best attitude! When you are OK without sex, you can have sex as a glorious addition to your life instead of as a drug.

Good luck!

 

You have very bright potential, i can sense it just by the injection of ferocity that you write with. I feel you. I feel your bitterness, your feeling unacknowledged, your desire to show the world what you are really capable of. I had very bright potential too when i was younger, a top 20 on the US tennis player- destroyed by pmo. The potential in especially my athletic performance comes back on long streaks, reminding me of what i can become! People think that you’re just over exaggerating when you say pmo destroyed your potential, but after reading thousands of stories and reflecting on my own, it’s clear pmo takes away whatever power you once had. Let’s say you were a star athlete, or the girls swooned over you, or you were a genius student, or you had some amazing abilities... pmo would take those away from you or just make you substantially less than what you COULD have been. Let’s say you were on track to be an Olympic athlete. You could have been one, but if you become addicted to pmo, say bye bye to your dreams.

The thing is we can sink really low, but can we climb back from the brink? Can we still become all we were meant to be? Admittedly, the earlier you kick pmo out, the better your chances, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still unlock full potential and become someone great. Maybe you can’t become all that you were meant to be, but you can still get pretty high, you would be amazed how high you can climb actually

From “As a Man Thinketh”:
“The soul attracts that which it secretly harbours; that which it loves, and also that which it fears; it reaches the height of its cherished aspirations; it falls to the level of its unchastened desires.”

Now that you know this, you have the chance to ascend. You are not too far gone by any means

we know deep down how much higher we could have gone and we know how much better we can be. We know what we are capable of, so then let us remove all the stumbling blocks, anything that hinders. Others look down on us, only seeing us for where we are currently at. But that bright potential is still there, brimming and waiting to be unlocked.

Everyone is capable of being their best but so many various stumbling blocks get in the way: porn, drinking, bad home life, a broken relationship, pursuing the wrong path, wasting too much time, etc.

Don’t be resentful towards the fact you have to forsake these vices, because really: what did they ever do for you? They already proved to be empty or unfulfilling

 

Either way you're paying 4 it. I say get the escort. You got what she wants, she has what you want.. simple, cut and dry! None of the trying 2 get 2 know her, boring ass conversations, phone calls, texts, etc. And don't get me started with blowing money on dates, dinner, movies, and all that other bullshit that 9 times out of 10 leads you nowhere. It's ultimately your decision, but that's just my 2 cents dude.

 

Excellent advise. Thank you.

 

i think ur posting it in the wrong forum !!!!!!

@SaturnDaytona456 if preparation, Support and approval u need. u might want to posting it on sex forum or prostitute forum then u will have the answer u want...

and is not that big different between prostitute and porn...heck even tho its legal in your world doesnt mean its right thing to do... for example eating exotic rare animal maybe legal in china...but its not a right thing to do isnt it ? i mean look at where we are now, the covid is everywhere because one man decide that is ok to eat a bat that legal in his country

imo u might be 30 but u arent adult yet, based on that decision making

he describe it perfectly, this is a forum for man to grow up and leave those addiction. we dont do sex with prostitute here. but we do sex with our legal spouse.

go back to prostitution forum and come back here when u decide to be grown up

 

Ad hominems make poor arguments, and are extremely unhelpful. At worst, they can fan the very problem that we're trying to solve. Leave that sort of logical fallacy to the politicians, please.

 

okay then i will leave it out to you Mr Right

 

From my own experience I can say: One "peeking" may be ok, depends ... 30 seconds? But is "peeking" 5 ... 10 minutes??? Fact is: If you settle in your mind for it being ok to peek then one will lead to the next which will lead to another and so on and eventually your dong is out and in your hand and you will be jerking off again before you even realize you're doing so.
"You either work on relapse or you work on recovery", a quote in recovery says. Peeking is working on relapse. If you won't today, eventually you will.
Imagine your friend is an alcoholic and he comes up to you and asks: Hey, I want to stay sober, don't drink anymore ... is sniffing at the bottle still ok?

What's the use of peeking porn anyway? If not your brain tricking you into staying hooked?