Emotional Help for those who are feeling extreme self hatred

(Note: i found this comment that was super helpful)
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/6lp1z0/i_want_to_kill_myself/

Event: I am considering killing myself. I don't have friends. I stay at home every day. My family is abusive. I am addicted to porn and masturbation among many other things like anime, games, movies, food, sugar, YouTube. I am anxious and shy.

Emotions: Rate how you feel from 0-100. 100 means this is the most you have ever felt this emotion in your entire life. Rate before and rate after we do the exercise.

Before

Angry: 100 Sad: 100 Anxious: 100 Shy: 100 Suicidal: 100

Now we go through all the thoughts that are coming up for you regarding the event above and take them through the list of Cognitive Distortions to see which ones apply.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.co...ental-health-counseling-school-counseling.jpg

Automatic Negative Thoughts:

Rate each thought from 0-100 in terms of how much you "believe" the thought. If you completely believe the thought, then that is 100.

Thought: I will never be happy. 100

All or Nothing Thinking: I am looking at things in black and white, absolute categories. Either I am completely happy today or I will never experience happiness in my life again. But really, I have had days that I have felt happy, even though they were a long time ago, and I am sure that even though I am sad right now, I am sure I can find happiness again if I really work for it.

Over Generalization: I am viewing this negative relapse event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. Because I keep relapsing I am seeing my whole world as hopeless. But the truth is that I have had a lot of success with my recovery in the post and so since I have done it before, I could really do it again if I tried.

Mental Filter: I am really dwelling on the negatives here. Although I am addicted to YouTube and anime and all sorts of stuff, I also REALLY ENJOY doing those activities and it will be great to share these interests with other people I am able to meet once I get out of the house and learn to go make new friends. I am glad I have interests to put my attention towards.

Discounting The Positives: I am sort of insisting that my positive accomplishments and positive qualities don't count. I have a lot of interests in my life. My family has been nice to me on many occasions like they bought me a cake, that was nice of them. I am also really good at managing my time and fitting in things that I really want to do. I wonder what other positive qualities I am forgetting that I am good at. Am I kind? Do I care about other people? Has someone ever complimented me?

Fortune Telling: I am predicting that things will always continue to turn out badly for me. This really doesn't help anything because I know that anything worthwhile in life is never easy and if I keep trying, I will eventually get good results, just like everybody else. If my brother got a job, well then I am sure I can get a job too. Maybe I will ever get a better job than my brother!

Magnification: I am blowing things out of proportion. Although I keep relapsing, it really isn't the end of the world and I certainly shouldn't kill myself just because I am having a rough patch. Everybody has rough patches in life and I have an opportunity to work through this and try to find happiness in my life. I am grateful for today and I will make the most of my situation.

Emotional Reasoning: I am using my current mood of sadness and lonliness as factual information about life. Like I feel like I am a hopeless failure, therefore I MUST be a hopeless failure. But that is hardly a fact. The truth is I am just a normal guy like everyone else and I am just having some struggles that I can improve on.

"Should Statements": I "SHOULD" have a job, I "SHOULD" never masturbate, I "SHOULD" be further along in life. But really, there is no need for any of this. I am where I am and that is okay. I don't need to add all these unnecessary comparisons to my life unless they make you feel better. Anything that makes me feel negative and unhappy needs to be thrown out now.

Labeling: I am a failure, loser, shy, anxious. Really, I am a lot of things and I shouldn't associate my entire person with just a few labels. I am a gamer, a son, a friend, an interesting guy, kind, funny, etc.

Blame: I am blaming myself for these addictions but really a lot of them came to me from media programming and I wasn't educated on the dangers yet. If I learn to manage my emotions and stop my automatic negative thought patterns by recognizing how distorted they are, then I can beat my addictions and start working my goals.

Now we counteract the negative thought with a positive thought:

Positive Thought Replacement:

If I keep working towards my happiness, then I will certainly be happy again. I have done it before.

Re-Rate Your Emotions: (Before/After)

Before

Angry: 100/25 Sad: 100/15 Anxious: 100/35 Shy: 100/25 Suicidal: 100/10

How would you rate your emotions now?

What thoughts are coming up?

 

Bro i’ve seen your posts before and always wanted to reach out to you. You don’t need anti depressants. And i think they would just make you more messed up.

You just need to do nofap. I only felt suicidal after relapse. But when i was at 90+ days, i was feeling really good

Professional help won’t help at all when the real problem is pmo