Let's reclaim life

Enough is enough. First time I realized I have screwed myself through fapping was in 2012 when I tried having sex only to discover that I can't get it up and cum within 10 seconds of whatever penetration I achieved. Its been 8 years since then. Been in and out of this forum for over 5 years and yet I continue to fap. I got some incredible support from fellow users and yet I continued to fap.

I am not a failure career wise. In fact, I am in a job which will be counted as a dream success in my society. And yet I feel so inadequate. It's not because of my impotency. It's because I feel that I have hardly realized 10% of my potential and 10% of what my relationships offer. I can't feel emotional connection to anyone.

But enough is enough. Although I haven't fapped since last 44 days but I have edged regularly and I have even watched porn a number of times. I get dopamine rushes through browsing hot images of girls and that I have done regularly. So I hardly count this spree of nofap. This doesn't help and offers no recovery. The lack of any morning wood whatsoever vouches for the same.

But enough is enough my friends. I seek to enter a world of utmost discipline. I am listing the rules below. Please suggest whatever you all feel would be helpful.
1. Cold Showers only.
2. Daily running/yoga.
3. Meditation for 30 minutes daily.
4. Won't touch mobile after 10 PM except for attending emergency phone calls.

I need one more help. Please suggest me what to do when urges hit. Because those are the times that are truly dangerous and especially if someone is alone.

 

Greetings everyone,
Had a great day yesterday. Didn't waste much time. No edging. No useless social media browsing. Did 10 minutes meditation in the morning, had a cold shower and read for 1 hour as well.

 

Hi all,
Great going till now. No edging and no fantasizing. Although I couldn't meditate today, but I am feeling content because I had a meaningful day at work.

Being able to be true to your promise and commitment gives extra confidence and energy. I am feeling really pumped up this time.

 

Greetings everyone,
It’s going great so far. Coming here to post daily success story is such a motivator. The satisfaction that maybe fellow users might find some strength from my journey is a great inspiration.

I am practising mindfulness as well. Being mindful allows you to be in charge of your activities and prevent us from from falling back into habits deeply entrenched in our being.

Cheers to a prospective new life.

 

Another successful day. Everyday on nofap feels like a victory. And by a successful day I mean no porn, no Psubs, no fantasizing and no edging at all.
This has taken me 3 years to realise that Psubs or fantasies aren't OK. They don't let you recover. Maybe my semen is saved but the rewiring that I am looking after will not happen. So monk mode is the only mode of nofap for me.

 

Another successful day. Whatever minor urges came were easily subdued.

 

Today marks the conclusion of 7 days of hard mode of nofap for me. Although I haven't masturbated for 50 days, but I have edged regularly, used Psubs frequently and even watched porn few times. So last week I decided to go hard mode and I am really excited to have completed the first week quite successfully and without much distractions.

 

I was watching a Web series today and found an extremely hot actress there. Was tempted to edge and involuntary started stroking myself. And just then I realized how I need to control myself to reclaim my life. A moment’s pleasure would destroy the gains of 7 beautiful days. Immediately stopped doing the same and started doing Sarvangasan which I have found to be tremendously helpful.

 

Not even a minute of edging yesterday and suffered a nightfall. Am not sure how to process this. One view can be that I am doing good and that’s why even a little exposure and stimulation is affecting me now. Or the other view can be that even though the conscious engagement was only for 30-40 seconds, the sub-conscious engagement over it might be more than that.
Anyways, I will not let this nightfall derail my progress. In fact I remember to be quite conscious during the dream and I believe that in due course of time with meditation and hard mode nofap, I will be able to control these erotic dreams as well.

 

And back to square one. I have been binging lately. Once I fall off the course, it becomes so difficult to control and not binge.
And all these days, I had been away from this site as well. I definitely see a connection in both