35 and older accountability, Group 2

For those who aren't using weights/gym right now: what are you doing to stay in shape?? would you mind sharing??

Are you guys spending more time outdoors walking, etc.?? Are you seeing more people outdoors??

It's been a few weeks since I've trained so I need to get back to it. No excuses!

Definitely seeing more people walking/running around my neighborhood, and it's inspiring me. I LOVE seeing that.

My GF will be joining me at a local park tomorrow evening at 630 PM for pushups and jumpropes and crunches. She's not going to exercise but it will be nice just having her there with me.

There's extra daylight now so I have plenty of time to train after work.

Although I am still a little concerned that I might have CV (runny nose and feeling a little congested in my lungs), I spent all weekend with my GF, yet she is healthy.

Also, my GF went to the grocery store this afternoon and stocked up on food, so I am out of excuses for not exercising.

 

I appreciate your sharing @parad0x.

Why do you choose not to share the nofap stuff? Seems to me like that would open up a new level of trust and understanding.

I assume you are indeed physically attracted to her?

 

I would just be honest and transparent. HOnestly and truth is King. Also i would limit ejaculation for sure!

Read the book the Bliss of the celibate recently - it is crazy - ejaculation is deadly

 

Hey man I do 15-20 min of yoga in morning and then I do 20-30 minutes of jumping up and down, pushups, sit ups, squats and doing different yoga asanas.

Can easily workout at home with body weight and go outside for runs/walk.

I think honestly it is better and more natural way than hitting weights

 

I’ve been jogging 1-2 miles every other day. Been doing body weight workouts: pushups, jumping jacks, plank, squats, lunges, crunches, Superman, bird dog, high knee lifts. Those all help maintain some strength and get heart rate up.

I also have a peloton that has been good.

Been nice seeing people outside on my jogs.

Also been walking with my wife and that’s been good connection time for us.


Check in: I’m 15 days clean. I need to reaffirm why porn is bad and even more why it is bad for me. Could you guys give me some of your reasons for stopping PM?

I use free content of naked women that pays them very little money but permanently affects their identity, financial well being, mental health, and contributes to an ecosystem that ruins the lives of many people. I don’t want to be a part of that.

 

158 days no PM.

I never been more grateful for my job and my health. I am also grateful for having strong and resilient and supportive people in my life.

I am one of 3 people still going into the office to work. I live less than 2 miles from my office, where we usually have about 100 people working, but almost everybody else at my company is now working remotely.

I actually like having the entire office to myself. I can stand up and walk around while I'm on the phone doing business deals (I have a cordless headset and a sit/stand desk).

CV is horrible for mankind but the global shutdown also means that my work is starting to get busy again, particularly from medical, military, and automotive customers.

Have a great day All! Don't let outside circumstances interfere with your staying positive and focused. Find a way to see opportunity in the worst situation

 

Really nice job staying active! I'm thinking Peloton sales are through the roof now.

Why stop PM? For me it's a matter of life and death. I know that sounds extreme. But for me shuttering my blinds and isolating myself for extended periods of time, using drugs, lieing and deceiving...that is the closest approximation of death in my opinion.

I choose life.
I choose openness.
I choose honesty.

I remind myself: those few fleeting seconds of self-induced pleasure will ALWAYS be followed by hours and days of self-loathing and depression.

 

Today I am feeling good.

I did a 3 mile jog. My longest in a year.

I supported my wife when she needed it. She is having to consider laying people off.

I am productive and energetic at work.

I have 16 days sober from PM.

My risks are: trying to remember why PM is bad for me.

There’s a friend at the office that wants more than friendship and she flirts with me.

I don’t know how long my job will keep me employed. But I am just grateful for what I have.

High days like this are oftenfollowed by a come down. That is okay and I can get throughthat.

 

Hmmm I honestly ask myself that sometimes. Before I got deep into porn I barely needed much attraction to get laid. As long as she wasn't fat, I was in. Yes I was a horny bastard in my teens and 20s

So maybe I'm not attracted to her, maybe it's withdrawal that's the problem, maybe I have low T.

I just don't know. It's very frustrating not knowing WHY I'm not horny. Coz I sure want to be.

 

I know exaatly how this feels bro! this is the nature of lust - I highly suggest you look into semen retention.

This is a known thing - when we release seeds with the same partner for few years we totally lose the motivaiton to have sex w/ the same person - I can tell from experience i have dated very attractive girls and after 2-3 yrs I would rather have sex with a far less attractive girl because I was releasing my seeds,

later i leanred that if i avoid doing so - i can remain in the state of attraction longer and not be annoyed by her, look up the this book https://www.amazon.ca/Cupids-Poisoned-Arrow-Harmony-Relationships/dp/1556438095

 

Update day 135

Thankfully last weeks cravings have passed - what helped me

1. Making posts here and also on Reddit - have found some really active subreddits on semen retention and celibacy and decafe - When tempted can make posts and asking for guidance and people were so good to remind me and reading others relapse helps too

2. Talking to friends on Zoom and connecting

3. Grounding feet on soil (in -5 degree weather)

4. Spiritual Chanting - This is gold!

5. Taking a day of silence, meditation and spiritual development

6. Keeping busy doing things with my hands - I started to make vegetarian meals ever, and really love teh process of making food with hands

7. Reading books on celibacy and semen retention and researching the topic

 

hey bro - I like to reflect back that it is your responsibility to control the frame of your relationships.

She would not be flirting with you without your permission - I suggest you take a real honest look at this area and treat this very seriously as the seed of lust taken form like this can create tremendous suffering for many people.

 

Thank you so much. You are right and I need to be careful with my speech and tone to not engage in this. I appreciate you calling me out on that.

 

Exactly - great suggestion - I felt the cravings alot too last week - thanfukfully I was able to express it here and get help. I also am now part of 2 different Online Meditation/Spiritual groups.

One is on SRF online (http://srfonlinemeditation.org/) They do readings and meditation
Another one is for my normal vipassnaa meditation group

I'm sure there are churches that do the same thing. Best to use the technology as a tool to evolve spiritually and connect - instead of using it as poison of lust.

 

My pleasure -I do want to acknowledge you for openness and honestly to receive this feedback.

I know first hand how tricky those situations are - because it's natural for us to like the flirtation and the attention, and on the other hand part of us really wants to be friendly but I find that I must be acting to my partner as if she is with me all the time and "do to others what I want others do to me".

So the best way to go about this I find is to bring up my partner in conversions. The other thing I do that works well to Neuturize the sexually charged relationship is to call her Sister. This is a very clear sign that you are not looking to expand the exchange.

As Jesus says if you fantasize about another woman you already committed adultery because it is done in our heart (in the invisible realm) the action that takes place usually is a natural consequence of ignoring many many warnings and red flags until passion becomes unstoppable.

Lastly I say I come to learn that it is up to the most evolved person in the relationship to control where the relationship is going. Sometimes I have girls being attracted to me, but I know they are not the right fit spiritually and they keep coming - it is so easy to blame them and saying, its their fault, but I know that I have a certain level of awareness and it is up to me to draw the line and communicate to them in such a way that tells them - I appreciate you but please dont go there - yes it can be hard at times, but ultimately it is saving me from a lot of misery. Cause craving and fantasizing about someone you know you cant be with is suffering - and if temptation gets too strong and god forbid sex happen - that's deep deep suffering and would make things very complicated. Not worth it!

 

Lastly, I just felt like to express gratitude to you @persona2903

1- for keeping this thread updated, adding people, and updating things. I know it takes time and effort.

2- for leading the field - you are in a sense our sponsor for having gone 320 days! that is inspiring for us coming right before you!

Keep rocking

 

God, I wish I could pin this post and see it almost every morning. It’s so good. I really like the idea of imagining my wife is looking over my shoulder.

I’ve had times where I was close in the past and it was always the result of small decisions until I felt hopeless to cheat. Then I wanted to commit suicide to avoid the pain of cheating or not cheating.

Right now I want to use PM so bad. My wife is driving me crazy alone and she keeps having virtual happy hours every night with people. I talked to her about it and it went well. But before talking about it I was starting to rationalize acting out because the women on screen are sexier, less annoying, and more exciting than my wife. I’m sitting here in bed trying to come down from the edge of PM.

Life is so hard. Have to make so many hard choices to do or not do.

 

Check-in day 160 no PM

I feel for those who are losing their lives and their jobs due to this horrible virus.

I am also feeling equal parts grateful and humbled by how centered and optimistic I feel in the midst of such world turmoil.

For now I have my health and my job. I know what it's like to struggle financially, to not have a job, and to not have a home. I also realize that I could lose my job at any moment, so again I'm very grateful and humbled.

I am slammed with work right now. Seemingly overnight I went from loathing my job to again loving it. It's lamentable that the world is suffering, but the fact is, CV is now generating a lot of potential opportunities for me to help people.

For the first time in nearly a year I am going to work early and staying late. And that's all I'm gonna say about work.

Things are going well with the GF too. She is one of the most nurturing and strongest woman I've ever known. Our connection is solid. I feel blessed to have her in my life. I feel like I have waited a long time to be in a relationship like this: a relationship based on 100% honesty and caring. I have nothing to hide from her, and such a relationship is new for me, so I feel very comfortable and happy with her.

I am also happy to spend the majority of my week at my place, alone, in quarantine, rising early, going to work, coming home, going to bed early. My 5 months of monkmode have prepared me well for quarantine.

But this will be the second weekend in a row that I'll spend at her place.

So after work this evening I'm heading straight to her place. I'm packing a small suitcase this time During the week she went grocery shopping for both of us, and tonight she's again preparing a home-cooked meal, and I will add that to my blessings list as well because I have very little food left and I have been eating very sparsely during the week because I have zero interest in going anywhere near a grocery store, or any other public place, in the USA right now.

Although I am feeling better, I'm still concerned I might have CV (slightly runny nose), and I don't wanna risk catching it at the grocery store, or any other place. I am trying to get good sleep and wash my hands every hour and stay as isolated as possible.

I suspect the actual # of infected here in the USA is way higher than what's officially being reported. I hope I'm wrong though.

Stay indoors. Stay positive. Stay healthy.