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35 y/o - VIRGIN - Depressed - PIED!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Depressed&Out, Dec 23, 2018.

  1. unimportant

    unimportant Fapstronaut

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    Depressed&Out

    Consider this, I know a biologist who has chosen to not get involved with women in favor of doing research. This includes a female colleague whom shares a mutual attraction with him. Really picture this sensation for a moment and contemplate it. Feeling so inspired by research, feeling the responsibility of true purpose in your life, so much so that you choose to avoid relationships altogether, even when presented with the opportunity.

    The only way this can be accomplished is if relationships actually aren't the most important thing in life. If sex is not the end all and be all of existence. I struggled with Anima possession myself for many years, but I'm here to tell you that you can overcome the sense of need for relationships and can find great, possibly greater, happiness in dedication to the community among many other goals.

    Onward and upward.
     
    Otello likes this.
  2. Otello

    Otello Fapstronaut

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    Hello mate. Thank you for sharing your story.
    You already had a lot of great responses here. I would like just to suggest to watch a movie called "Jack goes boating". It's a funny and wonderful story about 2 adults, both virgin, that get slowly and gently close to each other.
    You are a very open heart person, you will not have any trouble in finding someone to love and be loved in return (do you know the song "nature Boy"?).
    Don't be ashamed. Many of us struggle, men and women. Most are like swans, white and splendid over the surface, but under the water their feet paddle in the mud.
    Porn and masturbation can be tools to escape reality, but they worsen the problem. The more you indulge, the more you will sink in the problem that caused you to want to masturbate.
    I really think you should see a counselor, or participate to help groups. Share your story with real life persons, and listen to their stories, you will be surprised by howmany struggle with similar situations. You will find love, that's for sure, and you are still young. Sex is not the goal, it happens once you feel the connection with another person. It is a side effect of vicinity. Focus on deep, meaningful relationships, with men and women, and soon the woman of your life, or a part of your life, will just appear.
    Just be yourself. Watch that movie :)
    Love
     
  3. Alex1011

    Alex1011 New Fapstronaut

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    Try meditating i bet it will help u calm your unquitting brain it feels boring at first but i swear it will get u out of unstable mind
     
    joe59 and Otello like this.
  4. angelpart

    angelpart Fapstronaut

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    Something I've been wondering for a while but never asked, I don't know if this is the right place but here goes : how do you know you've got ED if you don't have a physical relationship with a woman ?
    I've never had a physical relationship and before I joined nofap I never thought I could potentially have ED. It seems to be quite frequent among P-addicts so I started wondering if I might have it. But I don't see how I could know for sure without having a relationship with a woman.
     
  5. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Fapstronaut

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    Well, before I was struck with PIED (in 2014 when I around 30 y/o - but it could have started earlier), I was able to get as erect as possible simply by thinking about naked women.

    But in 2014, following 3 stressful years before that - were I escalated my PMO, I experienced a limp dick for the first time in my life.

    I then went on PMOing until 2017 this is when I discovered the truth about Porn. I had a couple of relapses but since 2017 I have been rebooting on and off hardmode and since then, not only did my depression and stress increase (of course), but I also have the sexual side effects on top of the ED - for example, shrunk penis, lack of enjoyment when cumming, etc. I also have experienced strange physical side effects, such as daily weight gain.

    I have danced and kissed two hot women on two occasions on a night out - neither of those experiences produced strong enough erections (once I barley got one and the other was 4/10 at best). And this is the result of no PMO since August 2017.

    I've had minimal improvements.
     
  6. unimportant

    unimportant Fapstronaut

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    Tragic, I hope your ED gets better though I still feel you're doing it for the wrong reasons.
     
  7. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Fapstronaut

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    Not sure what you mean. As long as you apply the scientific advice (which I have), then it doesn't matter what my intention is.
     
  8. Otello

    Otello Fapstronaut

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    Hello mate, welcome to the 30s. I never had any ED, except for a period of time when I had psychological issues and fears. It left simply with the right woman and never came back. But after 35 it's quite normal not to be able to have a hard on thinking of a naked woman. Be relaxed about it. Also, how many naked women have you seen browsing porn? Take it easy it is really normal. In Italy we say "er cazzo nun vo' pensieri", which means, your dick can't bare anxiety. Concentrate on your well being and keep nightmares away. Think of today. When you will be with a woman you feel close to, it will go up in s breeze.
     
    angelpart likes this.
  9. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Fapstronaut

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    okay, if it's down to age* , does that mean that your erections after 35 y/o will also be naturally weaker (with a woman I mean)?

    *(which I don't think it is - if someone has healthy body and a healthy sexual experience, they shouldn't have a problem with this, as the sexual neural pathways can only get stronger with age. I have a healthy body but obviously my sexual template is not natural or healthy.)
     
    Otello likes this.
  10. Otello

    Otello Fapstronaut

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    No way, they are as effective and more reliable than in your 20s, because you have a much higher degree of control. Of course if you flood your blood vessels with saturated fat... the first symptom of a circulatory condition is ED, so eat healthy and exercise and you will have top boners even as a senior. Just thinking of my favorite pornstarn doesn't give me hard on anymore, that's natural. When you are 13, you have a hard on just peeking at your neighbor panties in the laundry :D at least I had, that's natural too. Just in time you need more the real thing, and especially you need an emotional connection.

    When I had my ed paranoia, I remember one day looking at a video of my favorite pornstar I ejaculated before I could have a a hard-on. I wanted to commit suicide. That was... 9 years ago. But then the same evening with my girlfriend at the time I had no problem at all (I was already in my 40s). So where is the truth? Just don't worry about it mate. Just picture the woman with whom you know that if you ever had an ED episode it wouldn't matter to her, she will be the right one. After my ED episodes where gone, it happened to me again one night, I freaked out, and I told the lady I was with that I was freaking out because I had this ED nightmare and I needed to get drunk because it just happened again and I felt like shit. She laughed, and offered to get drunk with me. We had a whole bottle of Jack Daniels and then we made love. She is now my wife. Life can be unpredictable, just accept whatever comes.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2020
    Depressed&Out likes this.
  11. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Fapstronaut

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    Hello man,

    Thanks, man. It's good to hear. And it's good to hear that you're still enjoying sex (I mean it...loool!). I still haven't given up hope yet.... but I tell you what.... this fucking Covid-19 is definitely not helping my plans to get a GF!! looooool...!
     
    thorswrath32 likes this.
  12. Otello

    Otello Fapstronaut

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    Ahahah that is true. But could also be an opportunity, depends how you look at it. A point of view could be that dharma decided you have to face this on your own, without the pressure of looking for women, until you are ready. Grab the opportunity mate :)
     
  13. Depressed&Out

    Depressed&Out Fapstronaut

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    I've been preparing (building my life I mean) to get a GF for the last 20 years plus! loooooool....
     
    Otello likes this.
  14. Otello

    Otello Fapstronaut

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    ahahah you do have a sense of humour... you'll get there :)
     
    Depressed&Out likes this.
  15. StoneyTrevor

    StoneyTrevor Fapstronaut

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    I know getting a girl would be new to you...

    its all in the fact that girls come by to you if you want it that way...

    you gotta express yourself and tell the girls how you are and what you want..

    keep smiling.. ;)
     
    Depressed&Out and Otello like this.
  16. Making love is going to be difficult when you gotta stay 2 meters apart, i don't know of any men that can reach that far..even with Viagra
     
    Otello likes this.

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