90 Days! An Honest Reflection

Wow. I've actually done it guys. I have accomplished my goal of no PMO for 90 days straight!

And while I am very much proud of reaching my goal. It isn't as fulfilling as I thought it would be if I'm being honest. But I know that I take full responsibility for how my experiences with this journey turn out. So I'm going to go over the things I've done, the differences I noticed from Day 1 to Day 90 and what I should've done over the course of these 90 days.

To start off, I'll talk about the differences between me from Day 1 and me from Day 90.

On Day 1, I somewhat felt a state of calmness in me, I was beginning to develop a sharper focus and my confidence with talking to people had slowly increased. This can be explained by my decision to start meditating for 10 minutes everyday. I had been meditating for nearly 3 weeks before I started NoFap.

It is now Day 90 and that sharp focus has skyrocketed. It's gone to the point where, if I'm focused on something, I find myself often getting lost in that task more easily, forgetting that time exists. It doesn't always happen, but I definitely experience it more frequently than I did in the past. That state of calm in me is a lot more powerful. I don't take life way too seriously and I'm more aware of the fact that I'm able to control certain things in my life. Speaking of that, my confidence has also reached new heights. I'm not as highly confident as I thought I'd be, but I definitely notice a difference. From time to time, I'll make an attempt to have a conversation with someone and I end up doing pretty well at being engaging. Sometimes, I run into a few awkward moments but I'll later find myself looking back at those memories and laughing at them, finding them funny instead of sitting in a corner thinking of how embarrassing it was.

Now I'll go over what I've done throughout this journey so far.

..... Most of the time.... I just stayed home .... I know, obviously spending time at home for most of the day isn't going to do much. It's a surprise to me that I was still able to make it through 90 days despite being home all day. I mean, those urges I felt at times.. How did I do it?! lol. I mean, some of the best things that helped me personally was to take a few deep breaths, express my energy via music/dancing like crazy, looking through this forum and using the NoFap emergency button for motivation. Recently, I've made the decision to start going to the gym and let me tell you, exercise and meditation is one of the best combos you can gift yourself with. Try it if you haven't already.

Alright, what should I have done to make my 90 day much more fulfilling than it was?

Easy. I should've gone out more. But more specifically, I should've tried to look for more friends. This is going to sound a little blunt, but the small group of friends that I have now are kinda boring. I mean, they're pretty chill, nice people but when we hang out, they don't seem so enthusiastic about... just life in general. They're not really adventurous. In other words, they're laid-back but they're TOO laid-back you know what I mean? I think it would be right to say that I am to blame for having friends like this. I was a quiet kid when I met these people and I may have attracted them into my life because they were like-minded at the time. But now things have changed and I want to find people who are more energetic and crazy about life. I want to find those who have a strong desire to be adventurous... I gotta find.. my people.

Well. That's pretty much it. This is my honest reflection on my journey to 90 days of no PMO. It was nice. But I know I could be experiencing a lot more.

Now that I've made it through 90 days. What happens next? From what I've learned, some people will choose to start masturbating without porn while some will choose to abstain for longer. It's pretty much up to the individual and what they think is healthiest for them. For me, I'm going to continue abstaining from masturbation. I find it pretty useful. And I even find it enjoyable to get urges from time to time. I like to see urges as an opportunity to place that intense sexual energy into something more productive.

 

Thank you! This was actually my second attempt at reaching 90 days. The first time I tried to get to 90 days was back in July of 2019. Only made it to about 11 days before relapsing. And then it took a few months for me to give it another shot and well, here I am.

 

Oooh, interesting. Thanks for that piece of info. I didn't know how long I was going to keep abstaining for. I thought I would just challenge myself and see how long I can keep going after the 90 day milestone. But now it looks like I'll make it a goal to shoot for 150 days to see how much of a difference it makes for me.

 

Thank you! Thank you very much! Good luck to you as well man! You've got this!!!

 

Hell yea man! Keep going! I'll be looking forward to reading about your story when you reach 90 days.

 

I've gotten morning wood more often these days. Some days I don't but I definitely see a difference in how frequently they occur. Thankfully, they usually go away almost as soon as I get out of bed.

As for erection quality, I'd say it's gotten better. When I get erections, they tend to last longer which was kind of annoying at first but with time, I've learned how to control them when I don't want to be erect

If you're wondering how I learned to control my erections, a few techniques I've used are quite simple. I remember reading about this post where someone recommended holding your breath until your erection goes away. I tried it myself and it worked quite well for me. I also find myself standing up and dancing to music to calm down erections.

 

Oh okay. Well, I hope you can achieve your goals regarding erections! Yeah, I talked about controlling erections just in case you needed some advice on that. For those situations where you don't want people noticing the big guy downstairs you know what I mean? lol

 

I don't have a girlfriend.

As for family members, I've formed stronger bonds with them. Talking to them a little more often and making time to hang out sometimes.

When it comes to friends, as I said in my original post, I'm slowly cutting ties with them. They're nice people but my relationship with them has gone very bland. So, I'm searching for new friends who are like-minded, driven to go on adventures and stuff like that. In other words, I'm looking for my people.

So in summary, I don't have a girlfriend, I've formed stronger bonds with family members and I'm moving on from my old friends and searching for new ones.