34 years dutch guy don't know what to do.

Hi buddy and welcome to forum!
Congrats for your decision!

 

Hello mate. I am in a similar situation, I am on NoFap and I have a wife which I love dearly.
The poison you really have to get rid of is porn. Not ejaculating could do also good, but the REAL important issue is porn. Just kick it out of your life. It can seriously mess with your dopamine for the profit of the industry, and the loss is all yours.
It is normal to feel shaken lonely and a bit depressed after ejaculation. French poets used to call it "la petite mort": the tiny death. But ejaculating with your partner, will make you share that feeling cuddling with her. It is natural and healthy.
Welcome to the forum and congratulation for your choice. You will gain a lot.

 

Thanks to you mate. It is always healthy to share.
I am in Italy, on total shutdown at home since 2 weeks but I managed to get to day 30 without watching any porn at all, and sharing the journey with my wife. My goal is a lifetime porn free. Also gaining more consciousness of the human trafficking trade behind porn industry helped.
My wife never had issues with my love for porn, but I never really told her that it was a bad addiction to me until now, when I decided to face this issue once and for all. Sharing with her is important. We have been without sex also for a while, we just had a kid and this prevented it anyway. Intimacy with a 3 months toddler around is almost impossible. Do you think you could share the effort you are doing with your girlfriend? Mind that porn is a powerful drug, and getting rid of that drug a day at a time is something that should make us proud. So she could only love you more being aware of the bravery required for the journey you decided to take.

 

Hello B3ast, welcome to the group. Your story is similar to a lot of guys on here. You can definitely find the help you're looking for to beat this addiction. The key is to start with a small goal, like "just for today, I will not PMO." Then you can build from that. It is completely possible to do a reboot avoiding Porn and Masturbation, but allowing for Orgasm through regular sex. It's the un-natural levels of stimulation from porn and edging that really create the problems for most of us. I think they call this way of rebooting "normal mode", so you can find some more information on that in the rebooting section.

I also wanted to tag @erik1990 in this thread. He's new here as well, and he's also a Dutchman, so it may be good for the two of you to connect, so that you can communicate in your native language if that's easier for you. Having all the friend you can in this battle is key. Good luck, brother!

 

Hoi @TheB3ast,

Je kan me een PM sturen, of in het forum onder internationale forums kijken, daar is een Nederlands forum Ik ben ook pas begonnen, en onze situaties lijken erg op elkaar. Ik spreek je later!

Gr!

 

Yes since 18 days

 

Hi B3ast, welcome, and I wish you the best! Recovery can prove difficult, but it is worth the effort.

 

Bij Inbox, en dan Start a conversation. Je kan dan nog aanvinken of iemand mee kan praten of dat het een privé gesprek is.

 

Hey welcome to the NoFap forum : )

It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!


First let me go ahead and drop some helpful links for you:

Getting Started Guide / Forum Rules / How to Use the NoFap forums/ Glossary/ NoFap Panic button / Set up your day counter / Rebooting Resources/ About NoFap/ Support NoFap


Here is just some advice:


First and foremost please take a look at each section in the forum, there might be something(s) you may find of big help to you. Feel free to post there :+)


Then secondly I just advise you to be active on your profile(as there a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then make daily status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've also got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you encouragement/support.


Theres a portion of people who love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive talk. It would be great to have you join in and support others in the threads, profiles, and journal. Make sure and be grateful for the help you received and give some help after receiving some. Invest in some people's journeys. We could always use your help and in return you shall receive some as well!


Thirdly, You should also highly consider creating a public journal/log (in the appropriate section for you) and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along your journey and offer support to you by way of posting in your journal.


Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!

 

Hi, welcome to the community

I would recommend you to stay in touch with members and read their success stories. You may also learn tricks to avoid the short-term pleasure and to face the temptations.

Be AWARE of your habits and control what you see and what/who you spend your time with.

It's also important to limit the usage of social media. In addition, never be free! Use your free time as much as possible and do sports, exercise, attend classes, etc.

This video contains everything that you need to know about porn addiction. Lastly, here is a collection of ways to deal with the urges which worked great for me.

֍ You got this my friend ֍​