For the individuals who sustained problems from PMO, did you ever think it could happen to you??

It's good you're asking about this. What I'm going to share is long, and may be tough to read, but I'm offering it from my experience in hopes it helps .

I am 54, in my 20th year of marriage and have MOd since before I was a teenager. I am just now starting to succeed in ridding my life of P that I have used in various forms for my entire adult life. The scenario you describe of losing attraction for your wife and/or ED is exactly what can happen and I would say is virtually certain to happen if you bring a P addiction into your marriage.

What happens is, even if you're getting sex as much as you want from your wife, you're still looking at / JO to porn and you: a) start seeing the P stars as sexier than your wife and: b) start wiring your body to respond more to your own touch than hers. In my case it was even worse because my first sex with a woman in real life was my wedding night, at age 33, before which I had spent 20 years conditioning myself to experience "real" sex as PMO.

Over time you'll seek out PMO to meet more and more of your needs and your wife less and less. There are some very candid and caring women on this board who are/were married to P addicts who will attest to this. And at some point one of two things is certain to happen:

1) She will give up trying to be attractive for you cause she doesn't feel it makes a difference. She'll stop exercising, eat junk, gain weight, quit wearing makeup and nice clothes, and start or intensify unhealthy habits like drinking, smoking, or spending way too much time on social media. She will very likely also start disrespecting you, in private or even in public, because you are not filling a key role she was expecting you to play in her life.

Or 2) she'll go the other direction, try harder and harder to compete with P stars in hopes of getting your attraction, back, and may wind up looking better 10 years later than when you married her... but then will either leave you for, or cheat on you with, another man who's able and willing to give her sex. There are "players" all over out there who can spot an unfulfilled married woman a mile away and will happily do their best to seduce her.

None of this I'm sure is what you want so I would say by any means possible, get yourself clean of P, and have sex IRL (legally and with protection, of course) rather than MO whenever possible. My marriage is "ok" now but we've been through some pretty rough times and it could have been so much better if I had asked the questions 30 years ago you have raised here. All the best.

 

Your sexual desire is devine and should be channeled towards your partner and your partner only.
If you watch p ,it is like filling a bucket with holes in it. You will never be hungry for your partner.
This devine fire is for both of you to enjoy.
P is a thief of intimacy.

 

I'm not married, but I just proposed to my girlfriend a couple of months ago. Hopefully I qualify to answer your questions.

Is it actually hard to get a boner when you look at your wife naked but easy if you look at porn?
-For me, the answer is unfortunately yes. It's is harder for me to get a boner looking at my naked fiance compared to porn. But that's because my addiction is really bad and I'm use to seeing my fiance naked. It doesn't help that porn has so many choices, and the visuals is designed to stimulate you.

What are the things that you thought will never happen to you but then you found you were completely mistaken?
-I was 16 was when i first became addicted to porn, I'm 32 now. I had two false beliefs:
1/ I thought that if i just end up being in a relationship with a girl that my porn problem will disappear. I've been with my current girlfriend, now fiance, for about 5 years now and am still addicted to porn. When I first began dating her, i made a real commitment to change, but it's not always easy. Whenever I am by myself, bored, or need to cope, I escape to porn.
2/ I also thought that I can quit porn on my own, and that i can stop whenever i want to. Boy, was that not true. The more i restricted myself from not looking at porn, the worst my binges became and the more resourceful i became in trying to consume porn.

 

Well said

 

I feel you, relatable.

 

one day i was watching porn (even tho i already join this forum) its just one of my term for "uncontrollable relapse" which was happened like almost every 3 day's but it just a lame excuse by the way....pick one of my favorite actress and when the porn scene start to have ehm interesting part's, i have urge to fap like asap code red... unzip my pant and there.... my dick is limp ......

try to touch it no response..it wont get up.. try to fap it...still no response but the fluid is leaking and there i go ... i have orgasm while my dick is limp

that when i realized that my penis is "broken" because of porn.

thank you porn

 

I like your avatar, OP.

 

fellow Nofap member stated that in "my condition" with over 10 year's exposure of porn , it will need at least 9 month to recover my penis. and now i already passed 4 month of hardmode (thank god)

but i have motivation here that i dont want to have sex beside sex with my legal wife (virgin until married) and i want to married only after i past that 9 month of recovery, hope this year i can get through that

just like @Rev2.0 mentioned. its better to healed from this first.

and i dont want to add trouble onto our mariage life too