Performance anxiety..gone

Hey guys!

I'd like to share my experience on the past few months of my life.

In march I had the chance to get laid with a girl, but after the foreplay, When it was about time to penetrate, I went 100% soft and nothing could even get it up. Than I got some rest with the sex game, suddenly its may. New girl, new streaks on nofap. First time action with her, the anxiety got me again, same story..2 weeks later..same girl, same story. My mind was so focused on the pressure of me giving an O to a girl, but I couldnt stand more than 1 minutes because of nofap, It went soft immediately.

I've read a lot about anxiety lately. I did my homework on the topic and I used the following method since the last time I was fapping. And it seems to work pretty fine!!

Every time anxiety got me with the thoughts on that I cant really penetrate girls, I started to say things to myself again and again like: My dick is rock hard, I can penetrate any girl I want, and every girl in this world want my dick.
(It was pretty awkward first, but I got used to it easily.)

Next thing was accepting anxiety. If I felt anxious I simply started inhaling big breaths and this is the major key to it: I started breathing from my stomach. So when I breath in, my stomach lifts up. It's quite complex and you need to pay attention to do that really.

So after reading the monkey minde anxiety book, and the tasks I mentioned above, my 14th day of nofap streak finally came and for my luck, another chance with the girl. I think something happened like in Don Jon. I was rock hard, but not just for the first action, in 2 days I had like 6 O and all of them by her. I always get 100%hard from just a little touching and whats more important that it stays like that. I was always afraid of condoms because I usually lost my erection with them, but I was so confident I put one up, and started giving her Oral for like 5 mins, and I was still rock hard..amazing experience..holy shit..still in trans

The other surprising thing for me is that anxiety never left. And I think I still need time to beat it a 100%. It was interesting, that I still had the thoughts in my had about not getting it up and couldnt penetrate etc,etc. But somehow my mind still maintaned, it was like a war between my anxiety and my training to beat it.

So for you guys, out there with performance anxiety, keep up the work, dont give in. What was really helping me along my journey is to face the anxiety and try not to run aways from it. I knew I was anxoius about penetrating, despite that I dont stopped flirting and trying to get contact with girls, because than anxiety wins. I think anxiety is worse than most of physical pain can be. Its like you know you are anxious at the moment, and you realize you have anxiety, but you just cant do shit with it. But it can be cured!

 

Well somehow performance anxiety and ED goes hand in hands but the cause of them is a totally different source in my opinion. I am not a master of the topic but I will try to explain my thoughts on them.

So when its about ED I think it can be cause by a lot of things, but my first thought when it comes to ED is death grip and too much porn. The stimuli that you give to your penis is way too much, and you cant really maintain your erection because "you feel nothing" during action. You are so used to you own hand and imagination so thats the only thing that can give you O.

Now for performance anxiety. In my opinion it comes from a thought that stayed in your head and you just cant let it go. Back in the days I had bad experiences with sex, yet still dont have performance anxiety. It all started in march where I lost lots of confidence. Anxiety for my is like getting a thought about my soft penis that cant penetrate a girl when its needed. And these anxious thought came from just nowhere, like sitting on the train or walking down the street. You cant do nothing about them. Anxiety is something like panic attacks, but its more mental. Its like you know that you have anxiety at the moment, but you cant deal with it. Its some kind of deffensive mechanism that your body starts but there is not even a real danger, its just happening in your head. From the Monkey Mind book, I learnt that it can help to just go againts your anxiety and do the things that you are anxious about. Like for me, still trying to hit girls and not going in full depression helped a lot I think. Also, reading about the topic was so helpful. Not every method works for everyone. First I tried the 5 second rule of Mel Robinson, I started to imagine giving an O to a girl during sex when I anxiety hit me, but the result was more anxiety because I started to stress more abut giving an O to a girl, which need good performance, so it was a big own goal for me.. but constantly saying that my dick is hard and I can hit every girl seemed like helped me a lot.

I've also read that you might never fully overcome anxiety, but you can fight it pretty easily soon as you are confident. Keep your head up bro, the sun is shining above the clouds!! :- ) if you have any question, dont hesitate to contact me

 

I am happy to see that you had a great experience with her. When I got anxious in these situations, there is no way I could get it up again in the same "session". My penis felt totally dead back then.

I think there isnt a brick wall between ED and anxiety. Everything is connected in these situations. Stressing your mind out can kill your erection really, but you really maintained it for the second time not long after that little failure and I think thats a really big step forward in your progress. Because of this big shift I think you might just need to build a bit more confidence and focus on these awesome experiences.

Great progress man, keep it up!! :- )

 

Interesting thing happened, and I think im figuring out this whole performance anxiety thing.

So after I succeed with it, I had another action when I failed again. Days before the penetration I started to worry about it again, like really and it make my dick soft again. Here is the funny part: After failing on a thursday with penetration, I relapsed at my 30th day on the next monday. Tbh I relapsed 4 times during the day..lol. So the same day I wanked out 4 times, life gave me a chanche to shine, my gf surprised me at a party and we landed in bed.. we had sex twice. And despite I couldnt cum by penetration because of myrelapse I was still able to penetrate properly even with condom... This made me think a lot about the topic..

I worried too much on having premature ejaculation and not getting it up that much that I actually believed it. Ofc having a longer streak of nofap helps your healing process on anxiety, but its not the only (and I think now its not the main) thing to focus on with the performance anxiety things. Its about having the right mindset that really changes situations. I hope this story helps :- )

 

I think approaching it helps actually. What I realized also, that while we were kissing I was rock hard, and I started to worry about going soft and for like 5 minutes I was just staying in the same kissing position worrying about going soft what really made me soft. I was started wondering about how condom will destroy my erection and stuff like that.

It works better in the beginning when you have no fucking time to overthink it. I was rock hard and made the move to put on a condom and I succeeded.

 

I think if you are a relationship, you should talk about this topic with your gf, that seemed to help me. Making things to go to your favor in the beginning also helps. Like I really liked to give oral to my gf, and what I realised is when I was down there giving her a pleasure I had a rock hard erection, but ahain these thoughts in my head killed it. I had way too much time to think about me going soft and I actually did. So develpoing sex a bit faster might also help