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From Chastity and Fantasies of Cuckolding back to Vanilla?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Jnuts, Feb 25, 2020.

  1. Jnuts

    Jnuts Fapstronaut

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    The night before last I was starting to feel very neglected. It had been a week since we had amazing sex and there were no signs of intimacy between us. We were going to start Karezza but she seems to have lost interest. The stress of Coronavirus plays a factor I know but I still have urges that need to be dealt with in some way and the easy way is not the path I can take anymore.

    i expressed these concerns to my wife and she apologized. She offered to give me a handjob.

    I have been suffering from delayed ejaculation for years due to porn and I can only think of one time in recent years that she had been able to get me off with her hand.

    This time was a little strange because I am also purging my brain of the kink fantasies that had become all but required for me to get off. I had no idea what to think about. So I just focused on what she was doing to me and it worked! It took a little while but not as long as I feared. Definitely seeing signs of recovery a month in.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  2. Jnuts

    Jnuts Fapstronaut

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    I stopped taking 5-HTP. It was completely muting my orgasms. The buildup would be great but when I would orgasm it would feel like nothing. Neither my wife nor I were ok with that. Been off it for a week now. Back to masturbating with my wife assisting. We had sex a few days ago and after she experienced her post orgasm drop she hasn’t been ready for sex again yet so my hand has been filling in. No porn but I’m slipping mentally.

    Fantasies are my problem. At first I’m ok with vanilla sex with my wife but after a while I need kink. She is ok with it as long as it is just us. I have been able to block out the other stuff but I’m slipping. This morning I’m lying here fantasizing about her having sex with someone and orally assisting them during the act. I’m not masturbating but I really want to.

    The fact that I haven’t had an orgasm that I have really felt in months has me chasing it down.

    I don’t know what to do.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  3. Danakay91

    Danakay91 Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like you are doing a fantastic job! You have great self awareness and I fully admire anyone who can show vulnerability as well as work towards self improvement. Hope you've been proud of your achievements so far! I can't say that my advice will be of any use to you and I apologise if I'm stating the obvious or talking absolute rubbish but perhaps use a less destructive activity as a distraction during these times. Try Exercise or a game you enjoy... a quiz or sudoku. Something mentally stimulating and challenging. if your an artistic type, get creative! play some music or write a poem. Check out OCD self help and see if that will provide comfort. Either way I think your doing great and wishing you a speedy recovery :)
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  4. Jnuts

    Jnuts Fapstronaut

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    Thank you. I appreciate your response as it at least means someone is listening. I did just get done talking to my therapist (not sure if I mentioned on here I started going to a therapist or not). She told me to try L-Tyrosine. So I guess I have some research to do. I may end up having to find a different therapist because I don't think she is advanced enough for me. It is hard to gain insight when you have more knowledge on the subject than the person that is trying to help you. I feel like I need to get into what the fantasies are and find out if there is a root to the problem aside from porn and I feel like it would be a waste of time with her.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  5. Jnuts

    Jnuts Fapstronaut

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    Im surfing the web trying to find some non-porn to take the place of porn. Definitely slipping.
     
  6. You know where that will lead . . .

    Hit the panic button. See if there is someone on here that you can help. Take a cold shower. Go out for a walk.
     

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