Day 33. Did I just relapse?

Today is the 33rd day of nofap for me.


Just 5 minutes ago I was scrolling through YouTube and saw a woman’s face. I know that’s not a relapse, but I got really aroused by the thought of it and I felt that “good” feeling down there if you know what I mean. Because my thing was innocently sitting doing nothing (not hard or anything) but the back was naturally against me laying there, I started to get more and more aroused, I tried to reposition it but I couldn’t stop focusing on the sensation. I literally thought about fapping. I then got up and walked around to stop the sensation. I took a pee and then got back on the couch.

Is any of this a relapse? Feeling the sensation (not fapping or on purpose) and getting aroused from it? I remember I tried to reposition myself but I ended up making the “good” feeling worse. I got aroused and thought about it. I then had to get up to prevent getting more aroused.

 

Thanks. It kept happening and I was trying not to focus on it but it’s hard sometimes. I’ll just try to not think about it as it is literally impossible to not feel the sensation in some shape or form. Just sitting on the couch or laying down I notice it and it’s not easy to not think about something your trying not to think about. Meditation doesn’t work for me in this instance, either. Because people recommend letting the thoughts flow and acknowledge it and not judge it and let it pass. Sure, I’m capable of doing so. But it’s just too much of a risk for me. I could see my self letting the thoughts “flow” and not fighting them and boom, I’m indulging without admitting it.

It’s a situation dependent solution for me. Sometimes I could just not think about it and get past it. Other times I’m in a situation where I have to sit or lay down and I can’t stop the sensation. That’s where I have to just do whatever I can that’s more pleasuring in the moment that’s not fapping. Like watching a really interesting video or eating something good. Just anything to distract me.