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Hi everyone, I'm an 18 y/o hoping to quit PMO

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Deleted Account, Apr 10, 2020.

  1. Hello, everyone!! I don't really know how to begin, so I'm just following the access guide.

    I'm an 18 years old boy from Spain (so my english may not be perfect). To be honest I can't recall when I started watching P and M. I can remember trying to find information, because I was scared to M, but everywhere i looked everyone said that it was benefecial and that there really was no problem with PM. Well now I can clearly see that that was not true. I think I was 14 when I first M and I'll never forget that day, though there's nothing anyone can do now to change that.

    I want to stop PMO because I don't want to be a slave of my feelings anymore, since I started M I've only had streaks of 2 weeks and I can say that those weeks are of the happiest I can remember, because I truly felt free and that I could stop PMO.

    There are 3 main reasons why I want to stop PMO, for myself, because I don't think I can truly be happy this way, for my future wife, because she doesn't deserve for me to think of her as an object for my pleasure and for God, who has also really helped me with this addiction.

    So my plan is for now to completely stop PMO until I get married, which from that moment will be not to PM.

    I'm rebooting today and I hope I can get a streak longer than 2 weeks with the help of everyone here.

    Thanks for reading :)
     
  2. | Nico |

    | Nico | Distinguished Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Welcome to the forum mate. Best of luck on your journey :)
     
  3. Thanks a lot, I just created my account and wasn't really expecting to get so much support. :emoji_blush:
     
  4. It's very noble of you to be considering your future wife . i wish I had your insight when i was 18. The best thing you can do in my opinion is focus on getting a career and find a nice girl. Often with pornography use, it becomes the replacement and it is a very poor replacement as no amount of porn can ever love you back. For many people who use porn within a relationship it will end up driving a wedge between them as recounted so many times in stories i have read on this forum, some guys are extremely lucky to have supportive partners who want to work with them, others have caused too much damage.

    You have the advantage of youth and a whole life ahead of you to make the right choices and that starts by knowing where you want to be and what you want your life to look like in 5 years or 10 years time.
     
  5. Thanks for the message, I really appreciate it. I have to be grateful that even if I was taught too late about the problems of PM, I at least have been taught how women deserve to be treated. It is tough though, finding a woman that shares your beliefs and who is willing to wait sexually for you, as you wait for her also.

    Congratulations on your streak too, 500+ days is amazing and I hope I can reach it too.
     
  6. GloryIsAllMine

    GloryIsAllMine Fapstronaut

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    I did share this before. Here are the 10 stages of rebooting.

    Stage 1: This is when we realize that masturbation is affecting our health negatively and we have thought about quitting. However, after reading about the harmlessness theories of masturbation we are not so determined anymore, we think that masturbation in moderation should do us no harm. This is the very initial stage of rebooting which is characterized by ignorance and naivety. The result: failure!


    Stage 2: We gain a small understanding of the harmful effects of masturbation, but not a thorough understanding. The result: failure!


    Stage 3: We begin to study other peoples’ experience of rebooting and we try to break our rebooting record. Although we have managed to set a new record on the number of rebooting days we are still unable to break out of the vicious cycle. The result: failure!


    Stage 4: This is the confusion stage, after numerous failures, we start to doubt ourselves. At this stage, we are not putting in enough of a fight, no fight no victory! The result: failure.


    Stage 5: Our body gives out signals once again and it’s clear that our health has deteriorated. Once again we make up our minds to quit and rely helplessly on the brute force method without learning about the correct methods. The result: failure.


    Stage 6: We begin to see the harmlessness theory for what it is, that it only works to trick the “children”. This is when we experience a breakthrough in our way of thinking but we still fail to understand why we are unable to quit masturbation. The result: failure.


    Stage 7: This is the stage of understanding, gained from reading vast amounts of rebooting articles, we begin to acknowledge spiritual teachings (such as Buddhism) which helps to increase our determination tremendously, we break the 100-day streak. The result: still failure.


    Stage 8: The thorough cleansing stage, we are starting to cleanse ourselves both consciously and unconsciously. Once this idea has entered our subconscious we easily break the 200-day barrier. There may come one day when we are browsing the internet and have our guard down or we have been slack in our rebooting studies, we, therefore, stumble near the finishing line. The result: still failure.


    Stage 9: We are almost there now and have become even more careful, our understanding takes on another level. We are no longer affected by dirty thoughts, what we see do not enter our intentions, what other people see and like we react with caution. We are steady in our heart even amidst rough winds of thoughts. We have discarded the habit of masturbation altogether.


    Stage 10: “Nothing to begin with, how can nothing stir the dust”. We have come to the highest stage where all things return to simplicity, just as the “sweeping monk” from Jin Yong’s martial art novels. Great skill is hidden in plain sight, this is only achieved by the Master.


    Tips: Everyone should be able to find their current stage in rebooting, just like in video games we have our levels, once we have reached that level success will come. If our level of understanding is not there we will have a hard time to quit masturbation, for a master there is no difficulty, while mastery is difficult to achieve for a layman. Hopefully, everyone will continue to study rebooting articles, the day when we find our “aha” moment is the day when we can walk away from masturbation for good. For the few bright people with keen minds, they are able to skip over stages just as a bright student is able to skip grades and the poor student will need to remain in the same grade.


    Those are some beautiful reasons to reboot for. With those solid reasons, I am sure that a long rebooting streak is possible for you.

    I have committed to conserve my vitality for my future partner. That's the best gift we can give to our partner. Until then, you can transmute this energy to improve the physical, mental, spiritual, financial and career-related aspects of your life.

    Wish you all the best.
     
  7. Hi! Thanks a lot for your kind words, I really appreciate them. I had never heard of those 10 stages, but I do see myself having lived through some of them. It's great that you are waiting for your future partner and I think that knowing that what you are doing is not just for yourself also helps.

    I'll pray for you and hopefully we can all leave this addiction behind us forever.
     
  8. The Free Bird

    The Free Bird Fapstronaut

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    Hi, welcome to the community

    I would recommend you to stay in touch with members and read their success stories. You may also learn tricks to avoid the short-term pleasure and to face the temptations.

    Be AWARE of your habits and control what you see and what/who you spend your time with.

    It's also important to limit the usage of social media. In addition, never be free! Use your free time as much as possible and do sports, exercise, attend classes, etc.


    This video contains everything that you need to know about porn addiction. Lastly, here is a collection of ways to deal with the urges which worked great for me.

    ֍ You got this my friend ֍
     
  9. Hey, welcome to the NoFap community
    : )
    It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!
    First let me go ahead and drop some helpful links for you:

    Getting Started Guide / Forum Rules / How to Use the NoFap forums/ Glossary/ NoFap Panic button /
    Set up your day counter /
    Rebooting Resources/
    Accountability groups (new!) /
    About NoFap/ Support Nofap
    Here is just some advice:

    First and foremost please take a careful look at each section in the forum, there may be something(s) you will find to be of big help to you.
    Secondly I advise you to be active on your profile(as there a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then begin posting frequent status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement.
    The forum has got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see.
    People will find your profile and give you support.

    There’s a portion of people who love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive conversations. It would be great to have you join in and become part of the team!
    We support others in the threads, profile posts, and journals/reboot logs.
    Once you receive some support, please be sure and be grateful to the member for the help/support you received and consider giving some in return to anyone you wish.

    Thirdly, you should highly consider creating a public journal/reboot log (in the appropriate section for you) to write about your days in depth for us members to follow along on your journey and offer support to you on.

    Please start your journal in the correct section and with that, also try your best to post in the correct sections as it is mandatory and would be helpful to the mods who organize the forum. : )

    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
     
  10. @The Free Bird Thanks for the advices and for the video. I'll make sure to use The Phoenix Toolbox next time I have an urge.
    @Coffee Candy Thanks too!! I'll check the links you've sent me that I haven't seen yet.

    Really appreciate both messages.
     

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