It Figures - Was Just Getting Socially Comfortable and Now COVID

Fuck, I know right. I was kind of already isolating myself 3 weeks prior to the quarantine and told myself I'll start making changes, lift weights again, box again, fix my social skills, meet up with friends, cure my anxiety, study harder, get a gf, etc. then this happens. At the moment I just lift weights at home (I have a cheap rusty gym set, bodyweight exercises are a good substitute), try to practice old boxing techniques on my heavy bag, study harder, contact and play games with friends online, visit omegle occasionally (wouldn't recommend) and just do chores (I'm 16). So yeah, just try to improve your fitness during these times and chill out.

 

A challenge, for sure.

As you know, a huge part of engaging socially is being brave enough to risk discomfort. We may even have to look for uncomfortable situations just to break down our patterns of avoidance.

They say that staying in touch through actual conversation (phone or video — not just text) will be crucial for everyone’s mental and emotional wellbeing if this goes on for a long time.

Put these two together and you have a productive exercise. Reach out and arrange phone or video calls with people from the past that you haven’t talked to in a long time. The sorts of old friends/acquaintances or family members that you would never routinely call, and whom you would feel awkward calling, but with whom you’d like reconnect. You could even do this with people you’ve never actually talked to before. (Third cousin from overseas? A guy in your field whose work you admire?) People will probably be happy to talk, and if not, what harm has been done? Just an idea...

 

I'm in the exact same boat! It's nice to know that there are others out there facing the exact same dilemma.

Like you, I've been socially anxious for my whole life and I've struggled with self esteem. These things were slowly becoming a thing of the past as I've been going to therapy for a year, I've been practicing self love and compassion, I've fallen in love with exercise, and I was starting to put myself out there more. I'm a senior in college entering my final term, and since I have a job secured and my GPA is fine, I was ready to put my social life ahead of everything. I was going to go out more, interact with others and also enter the dating scene. But then COVID 19 struck.

It's easy to feel like you're going to lose whatever progress you've made. But not all hope is lost! Now's the time you can pick up other skills or develop other good hobbies like reading, meditation, etc.

Feel free to reach out if you want. I'd love to chat about this with you!

 

I didn't read the body of what you wrote. Just the title.

That's a really bad attitude to have. This is the advice is not easy for me to follow but I hope you use it to improve your life.

If you can't control it, there's no sense in getting upset with it.

Covid sucks for everyone. Take an online course, do an at home work out. Figure something less out.

This is why at all AA meetings they repeat "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

 

I'm a competitive ballroom dancer and I like to hug people. I can't do either at the moment.

So you have to be willing to work with the situation.

Phone / video / social media. Talk to people in the grocery store. Whatever you can get. If you aren't willing to do that, then accept that you're stuck with what you have. It's unideal, but unless you're willing to do things you've never done before or be creative with the situation, then you're stuck.

I can't hug or dance with others right now, but I can work on eye contact / voice / body language / conversation skills / etc. It's not the same as face to face physical interactions, but what the fuck else am I supposed to do? Lol.

For dancing, I work on solo technique and expressing myself more.

 

You saw it exactly how I was hoping it would be seen.

I will add... don't worry about beta male/ alfa male behaviour. That's mostly nonsense propaganda used by youtube channels and what not to earn likes and subscribers.

All you need to remember is this: Have the balls to do what you think you need to do. Don't take your own analysis of these too too seriously. At the end of the the day, your making a bet on whether something will be a benefit to you or not. Make the bet, and deal with the outcome no matter what is is.

 

Glad you made this topic TC i recently just relapsed on account of this covid nightmare. My whole reboot (and i feel i really changed who i was for the better in the last 2 and a half years) hinged on socialising and people and making up for all the years i was a self isolating pmo junkie.

Some good advice in this thread though im trying to follow a routine religiously that ticks all the boxes for me

Working out
Meditation
Reading/writing
Calling/video calling people
Cold showers (always!)

And just making peace with the fact this is probably gonna be for the long haul and anything sooner will be a pleasent surprise. Also keep news consumption to an absoloute minimum not helpful at all