Serious Consultation Needed!!

SaintIdeal · Apr 15, 2020

I am prone to excessive masturbation and I have been doing it in a gap of around 13 days for 6-7 years and there is pattern going for it. It usually starts when I ejaculate under my pants by rubbing my penis due to high stimulation by porn clips and imagination.I just don't want to cum in my pants by rubbing but it happens anyways.By doing so i even don't enjoy the masturbation and don't reach to the ultimate orgasm.
Due to this a sense of guilt rise up within me and then I just start seeking extreme pleasure and orgasm ,and after every fap trip I don't feel content and voice comes to me like ,"Just do it one last time for extreme pleasure and from tomorrow never do it again." In seeking pleasure I sometimes rush my penis which results extreme swelling but I do it either ways. I think it has ruined my life ,I don't feel pure,I have become purposeless. I just want to get rid of it badly and I have been trying for long time but couldn't get succes.
I can hold it for around 30 -40 days but when I relapse I over do it and make all my hold neutral . I feel unsightly to initiate NoFap again and again but couldn't finish it.I think that I have a kind of OBSESSION with this thing.
Please help me with this and kindly give me a deep insight and perspective to make my life better and help me to get out of this MESS!

Jiminy Cricket · Apr 15, 2020

SaintIdeal said: ↑

I have become purposeless
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Are you, though? How about overcoming this addiction as a purpose? I think that's a beautiful purpose.

Don't give up! Then you'll beat it eventually. Keep at it.

If you tell yourself you can't do it, that it has no use, that's the only thing I would feel ashamed about. Because that mindset leads nowhere good.

SaintIdeal · Apr 15, 2020

Thanks buddy ,you just gave a deep insight but I want to make it perfect in just one attempt , it has became an obsession for me.

Jiminy Cricket · Apr 15, 2020

Perfect what? 90 days?

SaintIdeal · Apr 15, 2020

Yes brother 90 days in a single attempt.
Atleast some accomplish in my pocket would bring some confidence for me to keep it up.

Jiminy Cricket · Apr 15, 2020

SaintIdeal said: ↑

Yes brother 90 days in a single attempt.
Atleast some accomplish in my pocket would bring some confidence for me to keep it up.
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Hi bud.

Well you says you did 40 days? That's an accomplishment thar many people would love to get.

Do you think your focus on such a goal is helpful? I mean it's only a number in the end. Maybe what matters more is the we act and grow, instead of just meeting a certain goal.

I'm going offline now. See ya when I see ya!

SaintIdeal · Apr 15, 2020

But buddy how to deal with the pressure of getting started again?

SaintIdeal · Apr 16, 2020

Gmork said: ↑

Well, you can either just think about how difficult it's going to be to start again ..
Or you can get on with it, and this time tomorrow, you'll have '1 Day' on your counter.

You can't just 'be' successful.
It's a process, and it takes patience and time.
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SaintIdeal · Apr 16, 2020

Yeah bro you are right ,I have got to start it anyway and I already started , Today is my day 0 .I wish you will alwaya support me like this ....

Jiminy Cricket · Apr 16, 2020

SaintIdeal said: ↑

But buddy how to deal with the pressure of getting started again?
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I don't see it as pressure, but as a new opportunity.

Also, it's not starting all over again. You have learned. It's like a stock market in a growing economy. The economy is growing, but that doesn't mean that every day the stocks are up. Sometimes the stocks drop. But it's the overall process that matters.

SaintIdeal · Apr 16, 2020

As I m going through such conditions, I always have a dual thoughts. If I am on a long streak say 13 -14 days, my mind starts telling me all the positive aspects of masturbation which really isn't positive and somehow It convince me to watch porn without masturbation , during seeking mild pleasure by touching my penis ,I cum under my pants and it happens oftenly.
And after ejaculation I feel guilty and my mind becomes biased towards negative aspects of masturbation and it drives me to do it as much as I can on one last day and reach the extreme pleasure state and In quest of extreme pleasure and orgasm I overdo it but never satisfied ,then I again starts the streak from next day .
In such a long experience I have found there is nothing like extreme pleasure and orgasm but anyway after completing a long streak I again participate in the quest of extreme pleasure and cycles going on.
What do you think guys , what should I do to get away from this dual biased thoughts which drives me to do so.
In younger age I used to do some regional practices and my mind would clear at that time. But Nowadays everything looks like a mess and I don't want to talk to someone unnecessarily and I have transformed myself from extrovert to introvert by doing such messy stuffs. Can I get your thoughts about this??

SaintIdeal · Apr 16, 2020

Jiminy Cricket said: ↑

I don't see it as pressure, but as a new opportunity.

Also, it's not starting all over again. You have learned. It's like a stock market in a growing economy. The economy is growing, but that doesn't mean that every day the stocks are up. Sometimes the stocks drop. But it's the overall process that matters.
Click to expand...

SaintIdeal · Apr 16, 2020

Thanks for such a wonderful thought...

Jiminy Cricket · Apr 16, 2020

SaintIdeal said: ↑

As I m going through such conditions, I always have a dual thoughts. If I am on a long streak say 13 -14 days, my mind starts telling me all the positive aspects of masturbation which really isn't positive and somehow It convince me to watch porn without masturbation , during seeking mild pleasure by touching my penis ,I cum under my pants and it happens oftenly.
And after ejaculation I feel guilty and my mind becomes biased towards negative aspects of masturbation and it drives me to do it as much as I can on one last day and reach the extreme pleasure state and In quest of extreme pleasure and orgasm I overdo it but never satisfied ,then I again starts the streak from next day .
In such a long experience I have found there is nothing like extreme pleasure and orgasm but anyway after completing a long streak I again participate in the quest of extreme pleasure and cycles going on.
What do you think guys , what should I do to get away from this dual biased thoughts which drives me to do so.
In younger age I used to do some regional practices and my mind would clear at that time. But Nowadays everything looks like a mess and I don't want to talk to someone unnecessarily and I have transformed myself from introvert to extrovert. Can I get your thoughts about this??
Click to expand...

You seem to know what's happening. Now you need to be prepared for when your mind starts lying about the positive things again. Maybe make a letter to yourself, writing down all the negative things while your mind is clear. And read it whenever you can.

It's a natural thing. All our minds do it, that's why it's so hard. If we would always think about porn/masturbation in negative ways, then it'd never cause a problem. It's the will to not indulge even when your mind deceives you, that's where it matters.

Sounds like know-it-all advice from a guy who'se counter is at 4 days..
But I've been at this for a while. Why I joined here is ecause of a similar reason: my mind was deceiving me again, after a long time of doing well. So I use these boards to get in touch with reality.

all the best again! Keep going!

Jiminy Cricket · Apr 16, 2020

SaintIdeal said: ↑

Thanks for such a wonderful thought...
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SaintIdeal · Apr 16, 2020

SaintIdeal said: ↑

Advance apology for the continuous irrelevance in story because I wrote what I thought without even structuring the thought .I really don't know what I want by writing this and it's my day 0 on against PMO.

I just want you to know that ,I have been suffering from premature ejaculation and this is because i started masturbating at young age say 7-8 years. I Remember ,those days I had a fantasy for my aunt which wasn't influenced by porn and then I started prone masturbation without even knowing what masturbation is, " till these days I often had an orgasm by imagining her".Back to the point:-
Now I have realised I brought plethora of problems with it like introversion ,decrease in confidence,physical problem in genitals like a sharp bend in pe**s,P.E and many more. Either i was fully indulged in a fantasized world where everything was only for pleasure ,everytime I thought about masturbation and would create some erotic imagination by taking someone in my picture of imagination....or I was worried about the consequences and problems caused by it .
Now I realised that it is a fight between me and me and I am already into the battleground .I am sure a day will come when I will be looking at the mirror and will have a real smile on my face as I fulfilled my first ever purpose.
The fight against M.O has become my first ever purpose of life and I m sure I would give it a tough fight as you did with a hollow hope that by doing P.M.O I will get rid of my premature ejaculation and a symptomatic erectile dysfunction.
Can I get rid of P.E and symptoms of E.D with no PMO?
Or should I go to sexologist?
Or should I do PMO and after some time go to a doctor? Well I m just 21 years old.
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Jiminy Cricket · Apr 16, 2020

Hey man, seems like you're writing new material inside the qoute tags, which makes it easy to overlook.

Try pmo. If you're really concerned about something go see a doctor. We can't give medical advice here, I think.

Irishman13 · Apr 16, 2020

Jiminy Cricket said: ↑

Are you, though? How about overcoming this addiction as a purpose? I think that's a beautiful purpose.

Don't give up! Then you'll beat it eventually. Keep at it.

If you tell yourself you can't do it, that it has no use, that's the only thing I would feel ashamed about. Because that mindset leads nowhere good.
Click to expand...

I was exactly thinking about the purpose to defeat the porn addiction. Thank you.

Chefb87 · Apr 19, 2020

From my experience. ( I just passed 1 year with absolutely zero porn, and masterbated alone with orgasm 3 times.
The biggest thing that was a huge help from the start was writing down what your boundaries are. Define what exactly you are abstaining from, and why. Write it down. Heck not just write it down. Color it up with markers. Put some pride in it. And have it by your bedside. So every morning before your feet touch the floor you pick that up. And you read it. Not just read it ... But feel it.
Having your defined rules , and boundaries written down like that makes it more real and harder for your addiction to convince you " ahh one more time is ok ". Because at one point you wrote down that one more time ISNT OK.
It's not about being perfect. It's about doing your best. And when you Trip, and fall get back up , figure out why you fell, and learn not to fall there again.
If that means deleting your Facebook , instagram , snap chat. Then do it.

One day at a time

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Serious Consultation Needed!!

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