15 DAYS FREE FROM PMO!!!! My Journey

Wow! I cant believe I finally made it. It has been a really long time coming for me to get this far. The last time I went more than 14 days without porn was in 2018. I know its really sad but porn is one hell of a drug. My longest streak I believe is just over 21 days and I am going to beat it because I am going to be positive. A lot has happened for me in the last 15 days. I actually do believe that being in quarantine is actually helping me believe it or not. It has helped me to confront my enemy instead of running away from it.

I have learned a lot the last two weeks. How to control myself when I am in isolation. How to teach myself that I can become a better person and that I can defeat this addiction. I have been able to have a lot of time to just relax and reflect on the years that I have had struggling with this monkey on my back. Man I am telling you it feels great and I am only on day 15.

So how did I get here? Well its a bit of a long story. So about two weeks ago I was in a pretty damn dark place in my life. I was depressed for no reason, my anxiety was extremely high. I was freaking out because I was worried sick that I was going to be locked in my house for weeks on end and not be able to control myself. But then one night after a really bad day I was doing some soul searching on Youtube. I began to binge watch stories of people who have had near death experiences and seeing God etc. Now I am a believer in God and the last few years I have separated myself from him because of this addiction. So to hear these stories was very calming for me. It gave me the courage that I can be able to go back to him at anytime and he would be willing to help me as long as I did the work myself. Now there is the key as long as I did the work myself. Well how am I going to do that I asked myself? So thats when I started writing. I downloaded a little diary from the google play store on my phone. I wrote down everything that I wanted to accomplish in the next year. Before I knew it I was ready to embark on what is going to be a life changing journey.

Now the last two weeks have not been easy. There have been days where I felt like like I was on top of the world. There have been days where I have had absolutely no energy to do anything but sit be lazy and eat. There have been days where I just wanted to give up because the temptations were just too strong. At one point this was around day 10 or so it actually got so bad that I nearly relapsed. I had come to the conclusion that I was never going to get over this addiction. The temptation to edge every damn day was getting to me. I actually ended up edging to a point where some precum came out. It was sort of the breaking point for me to return to my mission. I was not about to go back down that deep dark road that I have been on for years. Honestly if it wasn't for me downloading those apps to keep me out of the places on my phone and computer where I could access porn and give the codes to a friend I would have killed my streak that day.

Now lets get to the good stuff. Many of you are probably wondering what has changed for me. Well to be honest not much in the first two weeks. Yes this is coming from a guy who would wank off multiple times a day to the hottest girls so I am aware its going to take me a long time to rewire. But there have been some benefits that I have noticed.

BENEFITS
1. REDISCOVERY OF ENERGY
I have finally rediscovered levels of energy that I have not had in more than a year. I have been able to use new energy levels to accomplish more things. I have been able to use new energy levels to become more active and eat healthier. In fact because of the new energy I have been able to lose 10 pounds!

2. DISCOVERY OF SELF CONTROL
Okay so I knew what self control was prior to this journey but I have always struggled with it. During the last 15 days I have learned to be able to control things a little better like temptations, triggers, eating habits etc.

3. DISCOVERY OF SELF DISCIPLINE
I have been able to finally learn how to keep the right mindset. I have been able to learn how to fight intense urges to relapse a lot better.

4. BOOST IN SELF CONFIDENCE
Its still very small but growing each day!

5. RETURN OF MORNING WOOD
Yes, my morning wood has returned!!! It doesn't happen every morning but it is coming back more often.


Now there have been some things that I am still struggling with. But I know that the further I move down the road it should get better. However if you have any advice for how to conquer these please feel free to share in the comments down below.

MY STRUGGLES
1. BRAIN FOG
I still feel very tired in the AM despite sleeping for 8 to 10 hours per night. I often find myself confused as well as day dreaming quite a bit. Concentrating on school work is difficult at times. Thoughts are not really connected sometimes.

2. TEMPTATIONS & TRIGGERS
Temptations and triggers still suck.

3. LAZINESS
Damn I am a lazy ass but I am working on it.

4. FINDING DISTRACTIONS
I have been able to keep myself pretty occupied for most of the day however I do become bored easily LOL.

5. ATTITUDE
Need to continue to develop a positive attitude towards life.

Again if you guys have any advice on how to deal with some of these struggles I would love to hear your ideas! I am hoping that I can be able to continue on this journey and be able to come back here and write about going 30 days without PMO! The next 15 days are going to be different that is for sure. I am really going to start working on myself and trying to do some new things to keep me going. But for those of you who feel like you cant escape the darkness I know how you feel. I was in your shoes once as a lot of us were. I was the dude who would literally watch porn multiple times per day and wank multiple times per day. So if a guy like me can come this far then so can you. DONT GIVE UP HOPE GENTS. Trust me when you get to this point its going to feel so good. Best of luck to you all!

 

Bro. Your text is long but very inspiring! While reading I even took some notes of what I wanna do today / next days.
Thanks for sharing your story.
All the best for you! Stay strong!

 

Hey thats why we are here!