On the physiological reactions to attraction and intimacy

BIOLOGICAL EXPLICITNESS WARNING (in layman's terms, there will be talk of genitals)

And if you're a heterosexual male, I see no need for a trigger warning, otherwise

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING I guess (better safe than sorry)




Recently I've noticed certain unintentional and frankly unwanted reactions to talking with someone whom I find particularly attractive in pretty much every sense of the word. I say recently because I've never really talked to a girl this comfortably while there is an understanding that I find her to be quite attractive. While I respect women in general greatly, I've always had particularly high respect for any for whom I've developed romantic feelings. This makes me feel kinda weird about having a raging boner while talking to said person, let's call her Ms. Nonyobiz, or realizing that I just excreted what could only be pre-ejaculation fluid as a result of interacting with her. Obviously it's all completely natural and probably a sign of good sexual health, like I can imagine my body saying, "Dude, she would totally make amazing babies, so you should definitely have sex with her ASAP. Here, I'll even prep things for you without you even having to ask." but it still doesn't feel okay when I'm talking with her.

In addition, as every other guy my age (with no genital-related problems) knows, it is extremely difficult, some might say near impossible, to not get an erection when in physical contact with, or even just close proximity to an attractive person. It's a pain to have to deal with, especially if that person wouldn't welcome or otherwise be okay with it. It also kinda makes you feel like maybe you're just another soulless animal that wants to have sex with whomever will let you.

I guess what I'm looking for by posting this is affirmation that it really is all just natural, and maybe understanding of the aforementioned by someone of the opposite sex and acceptance that there isn't very much we can do about it.



If you would like to know, here's what I will tell you about Ms. Nonyobiz:

Backstory: I'm a lonely guy. Through a series of unfortunate events, I whittled my way down to only one real friend as of late last year (2014). Until last week, that number held. About half of what I do on the internet (the other half being YouTube) is browse 9GAG, an "infinite scrolling" website full of memes of all sorts. It's makers recently released an app called 9CHAT, which is basically a forum and chatting app. With the promise of new internet-friends, I downloaded and joined 9CHAT. I made some posts, tried to initate a few chats with attractive ladies, more to work on actually communicating with girls in general and not to form any sort of romantic relationship, although I welcomed platonic friendship. /backstory

Eventually I came across Ms. Nonyobiz's profile, which showed that she was very attractive, a major Lord of the Rings fan like myself, and within the age bracket that would be socially acceptable if I were in fact looking for a romantic partner. I sent a message, to my utter joy she replied, and we've been chatting like good friends ever since. Unfortunately I'm one of those "picture life together if she so much as smiles at you" kinda guys, so as I probably should've anticipated, I'm now fairly deep in strong romantic feelings for her. Which wouldn't be a terribly big problem if she didn't live 4,000 miles away. She's also currently in a not-yet-very-serious relationship but is well aware of my strong attraction toward her, although likely not to its full extent.

 

I haven't ever been physically close to Ms. Nonyobiz, but I have with other girls to whom I've been attracted in the past. And yes: boners when I'm talking with her online.