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Do streaks add up? Or are you back to square one after a relapse or binge?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Apr 17, 2020.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I feel like many guys on this have an overly strict mindset.

    I accept that the best way to recover from porn addiction and PIED is not relapsing at all. Don't look at porn at all, don't masturbate to porn at all, don't masturbate at all. I accept that is the most efficient and quickest way to recover.

    But many guys on this come across like this is the only way to recover. They come across like streaks don't add up. Your basically back to square one if you relapse. So they must not believe brain changes happen if someone relapses, and if they do believe brain changes happen then they must believe these brain changes completely reverse after one relapse or binge.

    So say a guy didn't PMO at all for 2 weeks, and then on the 15th day this guy ended up relapsing by masturbating to porn for an hour. Then say after this the guy got another streak of no PMO for 14 days and then relapsed again by PMOing, but this time he relapsed a few times, maybe spending two hours PMOing. But then say this guy went on to get another streak of 15 days of no PMO after that.

    Basically this guy has had around 42 days where he hasn't PMOed at all, and then 2 days where he has PMOed. With the time he spent PMOing in total being 2 hours and 30 minutes out of 44 days. So in 44 days he spent 2 hours and 30 minutes PMOing, and 1053 hours and 30 minutes not PMOing.

    Are you seriously trying to tell me that this guy isn't making huge progress from this? Are you telling me this guy won't be getting huge brain changes from this? Are you telling me there won't be much healing from this? Are you telling me there won't be any healing from this?
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2020
    drkarim, SnowWhite and bebetter47 like this.
  2. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    is an alcoholic who drinks every 2 weeks clean? no hes not. youre trying to rationalize relapsing every so often, saying that its okay and you can still progress. no you can not. you cant be not addicted 13 out of 14 days and be addicted one day. youre simply postponing the next relapse.

    relapsing doesnt mean going back to square one, binging does. but if you relapse every other week, you wont make any progress besides for getting to 14 days, which is nothing. no addiction can be cured in two weeks. furthermore, after a month of this you will start saying that you got everything under control, and that its okay to fap once every week. then every other day. then every day. and back you are, worse off then when you originaly tried to drop the shit, because now you know what can be achieved, but you choose not to.
     
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  3. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    But if streaks add up then it isn't 14 days. It's much more than that if streaks add up.

    Like someone who relapsed once every 14 days for a year isn't only on 14 days. But the way you speak you think they are.

    In terms of brain changes and recovery a person like this isn't only on 14 days.

    and if an alcoholic drank a few beers once every 14 days for an entire year they would likely be praised for this. People would likey think they have got their drinking under control.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2020
    drkarim likes this.
  4. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    they add up in the sense that youre not doing as much damage to your brain as before, but you still do damage on a regular basis. why would you want to masturbate every 14 days? whats the point of that? if you know its damaging, why would you try to find a way to still do it? you cant claim youre doing nofap if you pmo every two weeks. if you have such control that you can do it every 14 days and only then, then sure, suit yourself, but you will find that you dont have control. you simply set a rule which you will break, sooner than later.
    theres no negotioation with addiction. youre either giving in to it or fighting it. going for 14 days only is giving in to it.
     
    bestme996 likes this.
  5. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    I totally agree with you. In fact, nobody is perfect, and aiming for 100% is stressing. If you manage to go PMO-free for 90% of your time, then this is perfect. Remember, in school, this is still an A-Grade!

    Only issue is that this might not work for everyone. I think many addicts tend to binge, and then they cannot stop. In alcoholism treatment, there is the term of controlled drinking. Which means, these people are allowed to drink "sometimes" and just a little bit. For some people, this works, but for many others, it does not work.
     
  6. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I was only using that as an example. As many guys on this come across like if a guy relapsed a few times in 90 days ext that a guy like this basically hasn't healed any, or hasn't healed much. I'm saying that's not true at all.

    Like a guy that relapses once on the 40th day, and once on the 80th day, and then a guy who gets 90 days with no relapses at all is miles in front of the guy that relapsed twice in 90 days lol. The guy who got 90 days clean has far more brain changes and recovery than the guy that relapsed twice in 90 days. What a load of crap lol.

    Like if you relapse once in 90 days you better start from the beggining again, because your back to square one. You must get 90 days 100% clean lol. Those other 89 days mean nothing. Start again, make sure you get to 90 days without a single relapse this time lol.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2020
  7. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    well yes, he is miles infront of the other guy. if somebody can run 15km, isnt he way better than a guy who can run 7km? cant you see the difference? if you were to benchpress 100kg and your friend could only do 45kg, arent you the better benchpresser?
     
  8. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    But your making out like the results are basically nothing if a guy relapsed twice in 90 days. The results are still going to be huge from this. The guy who got 90 days clean isn't going to be that much further ahead than the guy that relapsed twice in 90 days. It's not anywhere near as big a difference as benching 100kg to benching 45kg.
     
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  9. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    getting 90% is a great achievement and its praiseworthy, but getting 100% is perfection. when i was in school, which isnt too long ago, stundents who would get 100% on a big test would get "a shoutout" from teachers, and we others would clap for them. its different though if one guy got 90% and the rest of the class 30%.
     
  10. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    how not? if you can do something in one run and another person needs two, then youre way better at it. it doesnt mean that the other guy is unsuccessfull though. but if the other guys keeps benching 45kg for two years, then he hasnt moved from the spot he was at before, while you got further and can now press 200kg
     
  11. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    You back to square one everytime you relapse, unless you've had a streak long enough to restore your brain (probably one year or longer). Thats because everytime you relapse you prevent yourself to push your brain and body to the limit, and this prevent the change from happening.
     
    domsi likes this.
  12. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    But it's not about being praised for it. It's about the healing that's happening in the brain.

    What I don't think is true is a lot of guys on this literally think you must never relapse, you must reach 100%, you must reach perfection, and that is the only way any significant brain changes and healing will happen.

    I'm saying that's not true. I'm saying perection is not the only way to get sinificant brain changes and healing.
     
  13. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, from a guy who has used nofap to truly heal himself, you must never relapse. If you're horny, go find a girl.


    That's how you exploit all the true potential of the Nofap thing: it drives you to work phisically, socially and on your fears.

    If you keep relapsing every now and then you'll never reach the limit and you'll never feel a true need for a change.
     
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  14. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    if you dont remove a cancer completely, it will spread again. if you want to completely hral snd be free from this, perfection is neccessary. even if you wanted to successfully fap "only" every two weeks, you perfection would be required.

    that being said, perfection isnt something anyone has at the beginning of their streak. perfection is to learn from your mistakes without having to repeat them (too often), and becoming better and better at the thing you do, untill one day nothing more can be learned, and you have gained control over your urges, and dont fall to them anymore.
     
  15. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    For the 2nd half of last year I was doing a lot of 5-10 day streaks, I'd gone from watching porn virtually every day for many years to then roughly once a week, so a big improvement but in that time I never felt any changes. At the start of this year I went 20 days and from about 11 days in I felt big changes ... but for the worse. I had horrendous withdrawal symptoms which I was completely unprepared for, in the end I binged at day 20 as I couldn't take it anymore. The next day I started again and this time went on my longest streak to date which is 63 days and it was only in this time that I saw positive changes. I started getting consistent morning wood again for the first time in ages and I was having vivid dreams every night, again something I hadn't had in a long time.

    After 8 weeks I foolishly thought that porn was completely behind me, in that time I hadn't had so much as the slightest urge to even entertain the idea of looking at it. Then at week 9 my libido came back and I was out of the "flatline", typically you'd think that's great and getting my libido back was one of the main reasons for starting this but all that did was lead to the return of constant thoughts of porn. I fought against it for the entirety of week 9 but at the end of it all it took was one peek and of course the floodgates opened and I PMO'd ... like an addict though I couldn't leave it at one relapse, I had to do it again and again.

    I started again but only reached day 11, I still had morning wood and vivid dreams in that time as well as a small semblance of libido so I don't think I went back to square one after the previous relapse. Again though I binged at the end of it. I started once again determined to finally quit but this time only made it three days and just like before I binged for almost the entire day.

    Right now I feel more addicted than ever tbh, this morning I managed to talk myself out of relapsing again but I don't know how long this will last. When I did 63 days it was so easy it almost felt like I was cheating. I didn't notice any mental benefits in that time really but I think that's probably because I basically flatlined the entire way. In conclusion I don't think small streaks add up, not in my experience anyway. It's only once you go a long enough time without it that you start to trigger a change and I don't think relapses send you all the way back from a big streak but do it enough and it probably will.
     
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  16. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I don't think you can call relapsing twice in 90 days every now and then. It's more relapsing near enough never.
     
  17. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    deffending any kind of relapse is losing this battle, and its only setting you up for the next fall.
     
  18. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I don't do this making plans to relapse. But what I am saying is if you do end up relapsing that streaks do still add up, especially longer streaks.
     
  19. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    yeah, streaks of multiple months may add up. not two week streaks.
     
  20. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Well I can tell you that without a doubt I have experienced life changing mental health benefits over the last two years of doing this, and I have experienced big changes with my erections, and I have never had extremely long streaks.

    But I would agree with you that I do still feel heavily addicted to this stuff. But I don't use it anywhere near what I used to use it. But the amount I used to PMO was insane. I went through severe withdrawals many different times a while back. I don't seem to get withdrawals at all anymore.
     

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