First success story

My name is Andrew and I'm a pm+ addict which means I'm also a sex addict because pornography is watching sex (or looking at it, did anybody here just use print pornography which is static or did you use multiple forms?) and includes thinking about sex, masturbation is very confused sex . I've heard it called menage a un
And I used pm+ a lot, way past how much I wanted to, I was driven. That word, driven, isn't my idea it comes from an old Greek book, an old petticoat was asked if he could still please a partner at his age and he said "hush, I'm very glad to be free of all that. I feel as if I have escaped from a cruel slave driver" and when I read that years ago I was in active addiction and it called to me deeply. I wanted badly to escape, and sometimes the only escape I could think of was death. I ended up deciding that what worked for the man in that book was just waiting for old age so I tried to hold onto some hope that that would work for me. But then I thought about all the dirty old men in the world so that plan was worthless
Addiction is not like a bully where if you ignore it it will go away.
I didn't go stand the world to find a solution but I did happen to go around the world and while I did I kept looking for something that would work. I don't know what kept me going because the data showed that I just couldn't stay away from pm+ for more than a few weeks. I was big on data and the idea that the past predicts the future. While I was on the other side of the planet I talked to someone who seemed to really know what he was talking about so like any good addict I forgot his suggestion completely for a year and a half until my addiction got so bad even I couldn't ignore it or rationalize it. It was worse than feeling suicidal. I like to say that in comparison to drug addiction the good news is pm+ addiction isn't going to kill you the bad news is you'r going to live for a long time
But when I woke up thanks to the pain of escalating pm+ addiction I remembered what he had said and it led me to meet others who really knew what they were doing, who like him had freedom and success. Some people were not only not using pm+ anymore but were HAPPY in spite of never having fun sex. I had been on streaks but never been very happy and just thought it was because life sucked but the Lions share was that I want happy without pm+ and they knew all about that and how to live a different way, they said among many other things that living with humility, helpfulness asking nothing not even kudos, and honesty especially about the things they didn't want to say the really embarrassing things made them happier even if they still had the same job same partner all the same things that had seemed to cause unhappiness before, all minus fun sex.
The point is I started doing what people who had long term success said. Long term is subjective, my definition didn't include "ninety days not using out of every hundred on average.". It would be like saying I lost a hundred pounds and leaving out that I gained it back. But here were people with several and in some cases many years happily not having to use pm+ it went beyond "I respect that" to "I don't believe you" .
But somehow I found myself taking principled actions that I did not want to take, in order to get the life I saw might be possible. My thoughts started to change to match my actions, and I started letting go of my self hatred through no fault of my own it just was a natural by product. I listened when people talked about paying attention way upstream from skipping into pm+ by watching their thoughts. It turned it true for me too that accepting, connecting and taking action to help others when I started thinking about selfish sex was helpful.
There's a lot else I did, it wasn't one thing it even ten. And I think it had a lot more to do with attitude than specific actions. But the results are... Underwhelming. And I like that. It is true that I do my job better because I give up anger and fear and that also improves relationships with coworkers. Same at home. But I'm glad I see these as side benefits, not having to use pm+ was itself my goal. And now there's no time put on its future, just being grateful for how many days it's been so far. Because I am not immune, party of how I stay free is rendering that I could choose to go back to the prison of pm+ anytime, especially later today or tomorrow. Oh, I think it can help others to know that people can not only get free but stay free so I should mention that I haven't had to use in any form since 3/12/13. One of my friends says "I say my date so people know 'if that son of a bitch can do it I can do it' " . One way I like to think of it is I've spent seven years trying to get to one day free. May we all have this one day.

 

May we all have success indefinitely, not what we want but what e need