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90 days. This is just the beginning. You control your life.

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by BadFarmer, May 10, 2015.

  1. BadFarmer

    BadFarmer Fapstronaut

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    Started NoFap in October. Failed over and over and over. Finally got my shit together and am now heading to a better version of myself! Here are my thoughts thus far:


    1. Will NoFap change your life? Yes. Will NoFap revolutionize your life? It might, that’s up to you. Removing PMO from my life has made me painfully aware of all my other flaws, should I be content with them or continue to change them? The choice is mine.

    2. Key things that has shifted me from few-days-at-a-time streaks the my current streak:

    a. The Goal is not 90 days or 365 days, the goal is complete elimination from my life. This has proven pivotal. I swear somehow this mentality will make it easier to resist urges day to day.
    b. DO NOT EDGE. Every time I let myself edge, I had more urges for the following week, and usually failed.
    c. DO NOT FANTASIZE. Fanaticizing leads to edging, which leads to failure .
    d. Accountability. I am doing this with a friend, every weekend we talk on the phone to make sure we’re each staying clean. If one of us is having a rough week, we text everyday.
    e. Cold showers, Meditation, and Journaling. I am rather inconsistent with all of these but they have each definitely helped.

    3. Habits cannot be simply removed, they must be replaced. I read “The Power of Habit,” which explains this well. Don’t just stop PMO, you must also add a new habit. I have been hitting the gym 5x a week, I have never managed to do this prior to NoFap. I am replacing habits.

    4. When you become aware of a characteristic or trait in yourself that you dislike, change it. The awareness of what needs to change comes quickly and requires no work, implementing the change takes a lot of time and effort. So don’t get discouraged if you don’t experience immediate change, it takes time. I think every time I failed with PMO, my mentality was slowly changing until I was at a point where I was really ready to give it up for good.

    5. It DOES get easier, I think after 40 days or so it got a bit easier for me, as long as I didn’t edge. Though a week ago I looked at some porn briefly, which had the same effect of edging. Don’t pull shit like that, it only makes it harder.


    Tldr: Don’t edge, Don’t fantasize, replace it with something better. You have the power to change yourself.
     
  2. Warmogz

    Warmogz Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, I really needed to hear that. As someone who enjoys their own company I don't feel like I have any close enough friends that I'd be comfortable having as an accountability partner, any suggestions?
     
  3. DannyCool

    DannyCool Fapstronaut

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    Yes I agree with this. Catch the fantasy and leave it go. It seems harmless but as you say it will lead to edging.
     
  4. BadFarmer

    BadFarmer Fapstronaut

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    I believe you can actually sign up for one here. Go to forums, and under communities, click 'accountability partners.' While this may be all some people need, I have found it beneficial to talk to someone I know in real-life and who knows me to talk about this. A substitute for this could be finding a group, I know there are such things as sexual-addiction groups that may be really helpful (my friend goes to one of these and I think it has been beneficial for him.) Hope this helps!
     
    Warmogz likes this.
  5. revital

    revital Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing! Extremely appreciated.
     
  6. revital

    revital Fapstronaut

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    Love your observations and advice.
     
  7. PrevCDM

    PrevCDM Guest

    I appreciate the post.
     
  8. robotics

    robotics New Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate too
     
  9. Loved ur post lukeangus.
    Its going to help a lot of people here,5 key points that will make all the difference.
    The power of habit is a quality book.
     
  10. Gilbert

    Gilbert Fapstronaut

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    Really solid advice, and congrats on the progress!
     

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