Relapsed after 30+ days. Was it wrong?

So i was going 30 days strong until just a couple of days ago, i could not fucking help myself and started searching up hot images of Kylie Jenner, Ariana Grande, Sierra Skye, you name it.

I found myself edging for these past 2 days until this morning.. where unfortunately i just had to let it blow.

The thing is, i’ve been facetiming this beautiful girl almost everyday since this quarantine and i really, really like her - she also likes me.

However, we met on Tinder back when i visited France, unfortunately i never got to meet her. So i’ve never physically met her.

Anyways, when i finally decided to relapse, i rationalized to myself that it’d be ok if i decided to masturbate to pictures of her with a thought of having sex with her.

At this point of edging too much, i just seriously needed to release, that’s why i felt i needed something to rationalize.

But keep in mind, one of the worst problems i’ve dealt with in my past was PIED and could never get it up in front of a girl.

Hence why i started this NoFap journey because i feel all of these hours on porn and masturbating to really fucked up genre’s, well, fucked up my brain.

It is definitely different when i talk to this girl though. I naturally get boners when we talk about kissing each other or when i simply see her.

i just fear that if i masturbate to her pictures too often, i may end up getting the same PIED effect with her in real life as my brain would only be associated with the images of her, and not the real 3D HER.

could anyone chime in on this as i’d seriously need any type of insight to know if this may be fucking me up or not.

I’m definitely gonna go on another streak after this. My biggest thing is that i DO NOT want to watch porn.

so if anything i have not yet “relapsed” to porn, but rather “resetted” since i MO’d to a picture of a girl i like.

 

Yep, technically anything highly stimulating from erotic images or porn will still induce the same effect.

Believe me, i’m not gonna continue masturbating to photos of her.

The positive i see in this situation is that i did not finish to the usual porn videos or fanatical hot models of the world.

I orgasmed to the thought of real experience which at least, is a step forward..

Anyways back to Day 1 hardmode we go

 

thanks man, love the quote in your profile pic

i stand by that 1000000%

 

Yes, i agree. That’s why i’m a bit fearful that i’d be conditioning my brain to get a boner only to the pixel version of her.

Granted we facetime each other almost everyday, i still get boners just by talking to her and having genuine interaction with her.

I know considering i said i met her on tinder sounds like some “fling” type of thing. But surprisingly it really serious with her and she has actually been the reason i’ve been able to go on a longer streaks.

I plan on flying back out there once this whole quarantine thing is over. So i best to restart my streak now!