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23 y/o male deciding to end porn use

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Craze015, Apr 25, 2020.

  1. Craze015

    Craze015 Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    This is my first thread, and my intent is to continuously post more and more to this site to help rid myself of my addiction.

    Both of my parents struggled with addiction, (alcohol) for a majority of their lives. They’re now both 13-14 years sober and I’m at a point where I’ve realized I’m struggling with porn as my addiction.

    A little background, I first found out about porn when I was probably 10 years old. My brothers showed me a site and I was hooked, even though I didn’t understand what it was. Over the years porn became a safe zone for me, I would go home from school and go to my room & masturbate. But even through high school I never thought anything of it. It wasn’t until the end of college I started to realize, wow, I sometimes jerk off 3-5 times a DAY. Yet I still just pushed it aside.

    As time went on I struggled with confidence, anxiety, zero motivation to do anything, and now that I’m a fully grown adult and am about to make a huge transition in my life, moving to Colorado alone (I’ve lived in IA or IL my entire life) I can’t live like this when I’m somewhere I don’t have friends/family to distract myself.

    My porn addiction started with the vanilla stuff, I eventually moved into more hardcore stuff, and now it’s manifested into trans porn. Last night I was high and sat in my room, once again after indulging in trans porn since college, & started crying. “I can’t do this anymore” I thought. It’s not who I am. I’ve struggled in work because I will have thoughts of women throughout the day & keep me from accomplishing things.

    It was even to the point I would take “bathroom breaks” to go release my pent up energy.

    I want to have a life where I am connected to other people, I can look at them in the eye and be confident. But most importantly I want to be able to see women as human beings and not just sex. I knew I had a problem when I first had sex with women at 17, and struggled to keep an erection unless I was constantly being stimulated, again because of the overuse.

    I’ve read Nofap articles before (in college) and tried to quit, but I never fully could focus on it because I’d let stress from school, or something would piss me off & I’d say fuck it and go watch porn as my escape.

    Today I decided to make an account and allow you all to follow my journey. It will be hard, as I’ve learned from reading many other articles, but I’ve found a woman that I feel could be my wife in the future, and I don’t want to live a life hiding porn use.

    Please, feel free to respond on this article. I look forward to hearing from everyone’s thoughts or experiences. I think the root problem is my phone, since I always watch porn on it and rarely the computer (just because I have an expensive computer and porn=hella viruses).

    Thank you all for reading
     
  2. | Nico |

    | Nico | Distinguished Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Welcome to the community, best of luck on your journey, any questions or concerns please dont hesitate to ask :)
     
  3. VeerNappage

    VeerNappage Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for posting this. I just joined today too and have the same situation as you concerning a relationship. I want to really shake this addiction for myself and her both. You're gonna do great man, best of luck!
     
  4. palindromo

    palindromo Fapstronaut

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    Welcome
    Please, start studying carefully what's happening in your mind > https://oceanrecoverycentre.com/2016/07/the-ultimate-guide-to-overcoming-internet-porn-addiction/

    First time without porn will be stressful , but if you resist , in some months you will feel reborn.
    So if you have any temptation , is okay to masturbate if you can't handle the stress , but don't porn anymore.
    No more instagram pictures of models. No more erotic imagines , erotic stories or asmr.
    If you experience ''flatline'' and low libido , resist.
    >https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/por...l-size-and-or-libido-are-decreasing-flatline/

    The brain will try to win you and to get some triggers for the seek of dopamine. Resist

    - - -
    I also was doing this. Your surplus energy over time will be conveyed to productive activities

    I recommended you to use some apps to track your phone usage , and put some limits , mine is 1 hour per day. 4 minutes on google
     
    Ὀρφεύς and | Nico | like this.
  5. soaringeagle701651510

    soaringeagle701651510 Fapstronaut

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    The first thing I want to to say - you are being very brave for posting. I am a newbie as well - trust me, I know.

    Second - I have found that talking to a therapist is immensely helpful with this process. I was super skeptical at first, but in 7 months of weekly therapy I have made enormous progress.

    I know exactly what you mean man. I struggle with this myself. I believe that the confidence and connection with other people starts with feeling confident and connected with yourself. Once you accept yourself as enough, you can show up authentically and unashamed to other people. Other people can sense self-acceptance and they will gravitate towards it. Confidence is simply a true and felt sense of self-acceptance.

    Personally, I am on day 55 and have diverted a lot of my energy into playing guitar and singing, which are my passions. I perform at open mics and gradually I've become a lot more shameless in showing up as who I really am in front of people.

    Do you have anything that you're passionate about that you can start throwing your energy into?
     
    Ὀρφεύς and | Nico | like this.
  6. Craze015

    Craze015 Fapstronaut

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    Im very much into bodybuilding, minus the fact that gyms are closed right now it’s pretty much put me into a deep hole. Thankfully next weekend things start opening back up.
     
  7. Craze015

    Craze015 Fapstronaut

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    I recommended you to use some apps to track your phone usage , and put some limits , mine is 1 hour per day. 4 minutes on google[/QUOTE]

    Thank you for the response and links, I’ve started reading into them and will continue. It is definitely stressful, I’ve been able to resist for 7 days as my highest streak (this was back during college) but I’m prepared for the hardship to come. Thank you again.
     
    Ὀρφεύς and | Nico | like this.
  8. Craze015

    Craze015 Fapstronaut

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    You got this brother. It’s difficult for everyone, which is why we’re both here to ask for help and see the success stories from those that overcame it. Stay focused!
     
    Ὀρφεύς and | Nico | like this.
  9. chuMin

    chuMin Fapstronaut

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    I feel you man, PMO can get really destructive. As someone who also has stress as a trigger, I do recommend you try to abstain from M, even if without porn since itll likely lead to more stress and hence, reinforce the bad habit. Dont beat yourself up if you relapse tho since its probably going to happen, just keep trying to widen the gap between each one. You can do this, stay strong and good luck friend!
     
    Ὀρφεύς, | Nico | and Craze015 like this.
  10. Craze015

    Craze015 Fapstronaut

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    Day 2: woke up with huge urges. My routine always began in the morning, so here I am wide awake at 7:30 on a Sunday bc my body is wanting to PMO. Going to take a hot shower & let it subside. Not today Dick, not today, or tomorrow, or the next.
     
    Ὀρφεύς and | Nico | like this.
  11. Hey, welcome back to the NoFap community
    : )
    It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!
    First let me go ahead and drop some helpful links for you:

    Getting Started Guide / Forum Rules / How to Use the NoFap forums/ Glossary/ NoFap Panic button /
    Set up your day counter /
    Rebooting Resources/
    Accountability groups (new!) /
    About NoFap/ Support Nofap
    Here is just some advice:

    First and foremost please take a careful look at each section in the forum, there may be something(s) you will find to be of big help to you.
    Secondly I advise you to be active on your profile(as there a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then begin posting frequent status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement.
    The forum has got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see.
    People will find your profile and give you support.

    There’s a portion of people who love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive conversations. It would be great to have you join in and become part of the team!
    We support others in the threads, profile posts, and journals/reboot logs.
    Once you receive some support, please be sure and be grateful to the member for the help/support you received and consider giving some in return to anyone you wish.

    Thirdly, you should highly consider creating a public journal/reboot log (in the appropriate section for you) to write about your days in depth for us members to follow along on your journey and offer support to you on.

    Please start your journal in the correct section and with that, also try your best to post in the correct sections as it is mandatory and would be helpful to the mods who organize the forum. : )

    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.
  12. Craze015

    Craze015 Fapstronaut

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    All,

    I'm on day 3 now & last night I passed out hard at 9:30pm. I usually don't go to bed until 11-12, sometimes 1am. Not sure why, possibly the extra energy I had actually being put to use?
    Today I felt pretty good waking up since I slept a solid 10 hours. Got work done, had a slight urge to PMO when I got home, but just decided to watch TV instead & take my mind off of it. Our phones make things very easily accessible, so I've started limiting my time on it to 3 hours per day (total, outside of work). I will update as the week goes on.
     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.
  13. soaringeagle701651510

    soaringeagle701651510 Fapstronaut

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    That's good man. Do you compete as a bodybuilder?

    P.S. - I did kinobody (a muscle building program) before the gyms shut down, and was psyched about my results and eager to continue. But after the gyms closed I started doing P90X in my apartment. I installed a pull-up bar and have been enjoying it so far. Only thing is that my body responds better to high weight low reps, and now I have to do the opposite. I've definitely slimmed down some since the gyms closed.
     
    Ὀρφεύς and Craze015 like this.
  14. Craze015

    Craze015 Fapstronaut

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    I do, I competed last October in classic physique for heavyweight class. Unfortunately there was no competition at my weight though.

    I’m the same way. I’m 6’7” so I’ve always seen the most progress with low volume high intensity workouts, and I’ve had no equipment the last two months at home, so it’s just been body weight stuff.
     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.

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