Hi, 21 y/o newbie here

Maeve · Apr 26, 2020

Hi everyone,

I'm a 21 year old girl currently in university. I've been using porn since I was 6 or 7, the majority of my life. So if I do manage to reset, it wouldn't be a return to "normal", it would be something new. Because I've never known life without it.
I was very socially anxious and stressed out as a kid so porn was my main hobby/coping strategy. I was very ashamed of this habit. I'm not religious, I just knew it was abnormal and not something that a kid should be doing.
In my teens, I sought out strangers on the internet, partly because I was in a rush to experience the things I saw in porn.
The first few years after starting, I could masturbate and orgasm without porn. As I got older, porn was the only thing that could do it and it became harder to "hit the spot". Now, only one genre is satisfying to watch. I barely feel anything down there. I get to a certain amount of sensation and just stop, because I know that's the limit. It's very fast so when I'm bored at home (like now during quarantine) I can do it multiple times a day. It's not pleasurable at all really, it's just a deeply ingrained habit that gives a little bit of an adrenaline rush. Probably have the female version of PIED. The people I've been with sexually have been unable to get me off at all.
I worry that I'm broken and that it'll never get better. I worry that no one will ever seriously want to be with someone like me.
I've known about NoFap for a couple of years already but the fact that it seemed catered towards men put me off from joining (excuses excuses). I've abstained from PMO before, probably a month at the longest. But it always ends in relapse. I've never cared about my wellbeing enough in the long term to put off instant gratification. I'm trying to change that. I admire all of you who are going through the rebooting process and I have no doubt you'll be better for it on the other side.
My parameters for rebooting are abstaining from PMO/"Hard Mode" and I'm going to do this for 90 days, starting today.
Any tips on starting a reboot journal (idk what the use of it is, what exactly you're supposed to write and how frequently you need to update) would be helpful!
This ended up being longer than expected so thanks for reading

| Nico | · Apr 26, 2020

Hi and welcome to the nofap community dont worry youre not broken and you will get better i can promise you that. Whenever a urge hits you just try and do something, exercise, listen to music, talk to yourself, read success stories on nofap and so on.

Best of luck on your journey, anything we can assist you with let us know.

Maeve · Apr 26, 2020

nico2211 said: ↑

Hi and welcome to the nofap community dont worry youre not broken and you will get better i can promise you that. Whenever a urge hits you just try and do something, exercise, listen to music, talk to yourself, read success stories on nofap and so on.

Best of luck on your journey, anything we can assist you with let us know.
Click to expand...

Thanks Nico

Wolverine75 · Apr 27, 2020

Just remember one thing
It's never too late . You have took a right decision starting nofap. Just stay calm in your journey . Try to develope any other good habbit so you can distract yourself from this shitty thing. Avoid usage of internet (use minimum ) . Try exercise for sure . Develope some new healthy habits. Read good books (if possible ,if not read ebooks) ,good self development books .

One most important thing try KEGEL exercise i,for female too. Just stay on track . Always remember what you want in your life. Write it down on a paper with bold letter , stick it somewhere in your room where you can see it clearly. Whenever urge hits read that so you can stay on track.
What to write -1) what is your goal.2) how you are going to achieve it. 3) what you are going to do to achieve it. 4)how much time you want to achieve this(exact date).

Don't worry everything will be fine ,just stay on track . You have good energy in you and that will help you.

Maeve · Apr 27, 2020

Wolverine75 said: ↑

Just remember one thing
It's never too late . You have took a right decision starting nofap. Just stay calm in your journey . Try to develope any other good habbit so you can distract yourself from this shitty thing. Avoid usage of internet (use minimum ) . Try exercise for sure . Develope some new healthy habits. Read good books (if possible ,if not read ebooks) ,good self development books .

One most important thing try KEGEL exercise i,for female too. Just stay on track . Always remember what you want in your life. Write it down on a paper with bold letter , stick it somewhere in your room where you can see it clearly. Whenever urge hits read that so you can stay on track.
What to write -1) what is your goal.2) how you are going to achieve it. 3) what you are going to do to achieve it. 4)how much time you want to achieve this(exact date).

Don't worry everything will be fine ,just stay on track . You have good energy in you and that will help you.
Click to expand...

Hey, thanks for all the advice and support Wolverine.
Have been learning guitar and reading a lot more during this time at home so there's a couple of healthy habits.
Should probably figure out what I want in life though...
And yes, kegels. Heh.
If you have any book recommendations I'd love to know!

ttotal · Apr 27, 2020

Hi and welcome. All the best in your reboot and long term recovery. You got this! Journalling here and privately are self-care tools. It helps you get your thoughts, emotions, and issues out of your mind and to process them better. Here it helps for accountability, making it real, having peer support,...

Wolverine75 · Apr 27, 2020

Maeve said: ↑

Hey, thanks for all the advice and support Wolverine.
Have been learning guitar and reading a lot more during this time at home so there's a couple of healthy habits.
Should probably figure out what I want in life though...
And yes, kegels. Heh.
If you have any book recommendations I'd love to know!
Click to expand...

I didn't read to much , so read something about self motivation . And good to hear that you are larning something . Forget about all worries and problems evrything will be ok . Keep smiling

Deleted Account · Apr 27, 2020

Maeve said: ↑

Hi everyone,

I'm a 21 year old girl currently in university. I've been using porn since I was 6 or 7, the majority of my life. So if I do manage to reset, it wouldn't be a return to "normal", it would be something new. Because I've never known life without it.
I was very socially anxious and stressed out as a kid so porn was my main hobby/coping strategy. I was very ashamed of this habit. I'm not religious, I just knew it was abnormal and not something that a kid should be doing.
In my teens, I sought out strangers on the internet, partly because I was in a rush to experience the things I saw in porn.
The first few years after starting, I could masturbate and orgasm without porn. As I got older, porn was the only thing that could do it and it became harder to "hit the spot". Now, only one genre is satisfying to watch. I barely feel anything down there. I get to a certain amount of sensation and just stop, because I know that's the limit. It's very fast so when I'm bored at home (like now during quarantine) I can do it multiple times a day. It's not pleasurable at all really, it's just a deeply ingrained habit that gives a little bit of an adrenaline rush. Probably have the female version of PIED. The people I've been with sexually have been unable to get me off at all.
I worry that I'm broken and that it'll never get better. I worry that no one will ever seriously want to be with someone like me.
I've known about NoFap for a couple of years already but the fact that it seemed catered towards men put me off from joining (excuses excuses). I've abstained from PMO before, probably a month at the longest. But it always ends in relapse. I've never cared about my wellbeing enough in the long term to put off instant gratification. I'm trying to change that. I admire all of you who are going through the rebooting process and I have no doubt you'll be better for it on the other side.
My parameters for rebooting are abstaining from PMO/"Hard Mode" and I'm going to do this for 90 days, starting today.
Any tips on starting a reboot journal (idk what the use of it is, what exactly you're supposed to write and how frequently you need to update) would be helpful!
This ended up being longer than expected so thanks for reading
Click to expand...

@Maeve everyone has flaws dont rush to the point that you are not perfect for anyone... everyone here is dealing with same issue so no-one will judge you for your past of inclination toward pmo... and obviously porn plays a major role in acting as an alternative to our social life...even i'm too suffering from social anxiety disorder and porn just make it worse causing depression and anxiety and many other things...
and success without failure gives you no lesson... mistake are important that make us to remove flaws in us... yeah it will take time idk how much time but yup for sure once you are serious with this nofap your pied will go... and yeah porn have different effect on men and women may be thats because of hormones and all but still addict is an addict no matter which gender he/she is...
few things will help you because this generally help everyone:

be more active here because sometime when you feel low others success stories motivate you to realize why you started this journey

you wont get success in one attempt and not in one day... you just need to keep tab of your progress...

try to analyze your trigger and remove them like for me it is lying in bed in morning so i get black coffee asap i open my eyes

have a cold-shower because thats actually burn carbon dioxide and bring focus and cool urges...

start with short term and long-term goal both...90 days is target but make sure you are looking to progress with 3 days then 7, 14,21,30,45,60 and then 90...short term goal motivate you for long-term

make a journal because that would help you to share your true feelings in the crowd of people where everyone is like you and will be glad to hear your side

find a new hobby and time to ditch porn for that...

ask for help here if you feel so because some war cant be win just by yourself...

stop treating yourself as failure a new day always comes after night...for sure you will be good partner in future

Even you are broken we will assemble you into the person you always dream of yourself... thats for what we are here

Maeve · Apr 28, 2020

ujjing said: ↑

@Maeve everyone has flaws dont rush to the point that you are not perfect for anyone... everyone here is dealing with same issue so no-one will judge you for your past of inclination toward pmo... and obviously porn plays a major role in acting as an alternative to our social life...even i'm too suffering from social anxiety disorder and porn just make it worse causing depression and anxiety and many other things...
and success without failure gives you no lesson... mistake are important that make us to remove flaws in us... yeah it will take time idk how much time but yup for sure once you are serious with this nofap your pied will go... and yeah porn have different effect on men and women may be thats because of hormones and all but still addict is an addict no matter which gender he/she is...
few things will help you because this generally help everyone:

be more active here because sometime when you feel low others success stories motivate you to realize why you started this journey

you wont get success in one attempt and not in one day... you just need to keep tab of your progress...

try to analyze your trigger and remove them like for me it is lying in bed in morning so i get black coffee asap i open my eyes

have a cold-shower because thats actually burn carbon dioxide and bring focus and cool urges...

start with short term and long-term goal both...90 days is target but make sure you are looking to progress with 3 days then 7, 14,21,30,45,60 and then 90...short term goal motivate you for long-term

make a journal because that would help you to share your true feelings in the crowd of people where everyone is like you and will be glad to hear your side

find a new hobby and time to ditch porn for that...

ask for help here if you feel so because some war cant be win just by yourself...

stop treating yourself as failure a new day always comes after night...for sure you will be good partner in future

Even you are broken we will assemble you into the person you always dream of yourself... thats for what we are here
Click to expand...

Hey, thanks for the encouragement. It's cool that you make an effort to talk to strangers like me despite having social anxiety. I didn't think about breaking 90 days into smaller goals but that's a good point. Would probably be more motivating that way.

Maeve · Apr 28, 2020

ttotal said: ↑

Hi and welcome. All the best in your reboot and long term recovery. You got this! Journalling here and privately are self-care tools. It helps you get your thoughts, emotions, and issues out of your mind and to process them better. Here it helps for accountability, making it real, having peer support,...
Click to expand...

Thank you
Made a journal. Let's see how this goes haha

NCK · Apr 28, 2020

Maeve said: ↑

Hi everyone,

I'm a 21 year old girl currently in university. I've been using porn since I was 6 or 7, the majority of my life. So if I do manage to reset, it wouldn't be a return to "normal", it would be something new. Because I've never known life without it.
I was very socially anxious and stressed out as a kid so porn was my main hobby/coping strategy. I was very ashamed of this habit. I'm not religious, I just knew it was abnormal and not something that a kid should be doing.
In my teens, I sought out strangers on the internet, partly because I was in a rush to experience the things I saw in porn.
The first few years after starting, I could masturbate and orgasm without porn. As I got older, porn was the only thing that could do it and it became harder to "hit the spot". Now, only one genre is satisfying to watch. I barely feel anything down there. I get to a certain amount of sensation and just stop, because I know that's the limit. It's very fast so when I'm bored at home (like now during quarantine) I can do it multiple times a day. It's not pleasurable at all really, it's just a deeply ingrained habit that gives a little bit of an adrenaline rush. Probably have the female version of PIED. The people I've been with sexually have been unable to get me off at all.
I worry that I'm broken and that it'll never get better. I worry that no one will ever seriously want to be with someone like me.
I've known about NoFap for a couple of years already but the fact that it seemed catered towards men put me off from joining (excuses excuses). I've abstained from PMO before, probably a month at the longest. But it always ends in relapse. I've never cared about my wellbeing enough in the long term to put off instant gratification. I'm trying to change that. I admire all of you who are going through the rebooting process and I have no doubt you'll be better for it on the other side.
My parameters for rebooting are abstaining from PMO/"Hard Mode" and I'm going to do this for 90 days, starting today.
Any tips on starting a reboot journal (idk what the use of it is, what exactly you're supposed to write and how frequently you need to update) would be helpful!
This ended up being longer than expected so thanks for reading
Click to expand...

Welcome @Maeve I hope you succeed in your journey! If you need I am here to talk, just message me!

Deleted Account · Apr 28, 2020

Maeve said: ↑

Hey, thanks for the encouragement. It's cool that you make an effort to talk to strangers like me despite having social anxiety. I didn't think about breaking 90 days into smaller goals but that's a good point. Would probably be more motivating that way.
Click to expand...

everyone is stranger till we dont know name and sometime even stranger gives life-long memories without a name... good luck and enjoy this journey... we are with you in this journey... also keep your journal update daily...

Deleted Account · May 1, 2020

Hey, welcome back to the NoFap community
: )
It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!
First let me go ahead and drop some helpful links for you:

Getting Started Guide / Forum Rules / How to Use the NoFap forums/ Glossary/ NoFap Panic button /
Set up your day counter /
Rebooting Resources/
Accountability groups (new!) /
About NoFap/ Support Nofap
Here is just some advice:

First and foremost please take a careful look at each section in the forum, there may be something(s) you will find to be of big help to you.
Secondly I advise you to be active on your profile(as there a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then begin posting frequent status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement.
The forum has got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see.
People will find your profile and give you support.

There’s a portion of people who love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive conversations. It would be great to have you join in and become part of the team!
We support others in the threads, profile posts, and journals/reboot logs.
Once you receive some support, please be sure and be grateful to the member for the help/support you received and consider giving some in return to anyone you wish.

Thirdly, you should highly consider creating a public journal/reboot log (in the appropriate section for you) to write about your days in depth for us members to follow along on your journey and offer support to you on.

Please start your journal in the correct section and with that, also try your best to post in the correct sections as it is mandatory and would be helpful to the mods who organize the forum. : )

Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!

Deleted Account · May 2, 2020

Welcome to the community

PopularLoner · May 2, 2020

Maeve said: ↑

Hi everyone,

I'm a 21 year old girl currently in university. I've been using porn since I was 6 or 7, the majority of my life. So if I do manage to reset, it wouldn't be a return to "normal", it would be something new. Because I've never known life without it.
I was very socially anxious and stressed out as a kid so porn was my main hobby/coping strategy. I was very ashamed of this habit. I'm not religious, I just knew it was abnormal and not something that a kid should be doing.
In my teens, I sought out strangers on the internet, partly because I was in a rush to experience the things I saw in porn.
The first few years after starting, I could masturbate and orgasm without porn. As I got older, porn was the only thing that could do it and it became harder to "hit the spot". Now, only one genre is satisfying to watch. I barely feel anything down there. I get to a certain amount of sensation and just stop, because I know that's the limit. It's very fast so when I'm bored at home (like now during quarantine) I can do it multiple times a day. It's not pleasurable at all really, it's just a deeply ingrained habit that gives a little bit of an adrenaline rush. Probably have the female version of PIED. The people I've been with sexually have been unable to get me off at all.
I worry that I'm broken and that it'll never get better. I worry that no one will ever seriously want to be with someone like me.
I've known about NoFap for a couple of years already but the fact that it seemed catered towards men put me off from joining (excuses excuses). I've abstained from PMO before, probably a month at the longest. But it always ends in relapse. I've never cared about my wellbeing enough in the long term to put off instant gratification. I'm trying to change that. I admire all of you who are going through the rebooting process and I have no doubt you'll be better for it on the other side.
My parameters for rebooting are abstaining from PMO/"Hard Mode" and I'm going to do this for 90 days, starting today.
Any tips on starting a reboot journal (idk what the use of it is, what exactly you're supposed to write and how frequently you need to update) would be helpful!
This ended up being longer than expected so thanks for reading
Click to expand...

You are not broken! Just focus on getting better don't even mind the days.

Saurav04 · May 15, 2020

Maeve said: ↑

I'm a 21 year old girl currently in university. I've been using porn since I was 6 or 7, the majority of my life. So if I do manage to reset, it wouldn't be a return to "normal", it would be something new.
Click to expand...

To be honest I thought only guys can be addicted to porn for so many years. I have been trying to quit PMO for last 10 years, for the first time in life crossed 30 days. It's good to see we all humans are basically same. A world free of porn and hyper-sexual behavior would be great.

DrabToLight · May 15, 2020

Maeve said: ↑

I worry that I'm broken and that it'll never get better.
Click to expand...

Hey @Maeve ,

Welcome to NoFap!

This is just a hello and welcome from a regular member.

-- D2L

PS: Oh, yeah! Don't forget to download the free "Getting Started" guide. You can find it at https://www.nofap.com/getting-started/

Again, Welcome.

Maeve · May 16, 2020

NCK said: ↑

Welcome @Maeve I hope you succeed in your journey! If you need I am here to talk, just message me!
Click to expand...

ujjing said: ↑

everyone is stranger till we dont know name and sometime even stranger gives life-long memories without a name... good luck and enjoy this journey... we are with you in this journey... also keep your journal update daily...
Click to expand...

MuscularSherlockHolmes said: ↑

Welcome to the community
Click to expand...

PopularLoner said: ↑

You are not broken! Just focus on getting better don't even mind the days.
Click to expand...

DrabToLight said: ↑

Hey @Maeve ,

Welcome to NoFap!

This is just a hello and welcome from a regular member.

-- D2L

PS: Oh, yeah! Don't forget to download the free "Getting Started" guide. You can find it at https://www.nofap.com/getting-started/

Again, Welcome.
Click to expand...

Holy shit how is this thread still alive.
I just want to say thanks to everyone for becoming so welcoming and encouraging. It's what keeps me coming back and holding myself accountable. I hope you all achieve whatever goals you're working towards too.

Maeve · May 16, 2020

Saurav04 said: ↑

To be honest I thought only guys can be addicted to porn for so many years. I have been trying to quit PMO for last 10 years, for the first time in life crossed 30 days. It's good to see we all humans are basically same. A world free of porn and hyper-sexual behavior would be great.
Click to expand...

Congrats on your 30 day streak
That's something to be proud of.
I thought the same thing about it only affecting guys, which is why I still struggle with a lot of self hatred.
It's only through talking to the women on here that's made me feel less like a weird fucked up precocious ****. Cause if other people are weird and fucked up in the same way as I am and they're still good people maybe I'm not so bad after all.
Glad you found it insightful in some way.

DrabToLight · May 16, 2020

Maeve said: ↑

Holy shit how is this thread still alive.
I just want to say thanks to everyone for becoming so welcoming and encouraging. It's what keeps me coming back and holding myself accountable. I hope you all achieve whatever goals you're working towards too.
Click to expand...

Hey @Maeve ,

What is more important than the thread being alive is that you are still here and working a great program!

Congrats!

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