90 Days Hard Mode - Phases/Challenges/Preparation/Benefits

The reason for writing this success story:
I do not want to document my story, I do not want to give myself praise,
I really want to help you and give this community something back. Therefore I am writing about the important points that I have experienced and have structured them in my text.

Little Introduction
Why you should do HardMode?
I personally doubt the need for abstaining masturbation a long time to get free of porn. I tried to abstain from PMO for one month, then I relapsed. I tried to get slowly away from porn with playboy magazines. I tried just abstaining from porn. In the end, what actually helped me was abstaining from PMO all together and doing hard mode. Maybe you need the steps before, as I did it, but know, that finally only a complete abstinence from all arousing stuff and orgasm can reset your brain on porn!
Why 90 days?
I think you know that this is the gold standard of nofap and that it is often said, that this is the time you need to recover. I do not believe, that you recover from porn addiction completly after 90 days Hardmode, at least i did not, but 90 days are still important: First, to have a goal that you need to archieve. I think during 90 days you experience a lot of change and you get to know what it is like without porn and experience some important benefits. Second, to experience the turning point, when the benefits you get get more, than your cravings. It is like seeing your greater muscles after a year in the gym and with no effort what so ever anymore to go to the gym. Your body knows after 90 days, that it will probably not get this hyper stimulating stuff from porn anymore and you can built positive habits in your life. Isn´t that worth to archieve? Not convinced so far? Okay, then read through the Benefits and then the Phases and Challenges to start your personal Journey

Phases

• First 2 weeks: You will encounter strong urges and a boost of testosterone
• After 30 Days: Wet Dreams, can also occur before that time. More relaxed during conversation and more attention from girls.
• Between 30 and 60 Days: Stronger feelings. Maybe negative feelings. I experienced a little depression during this time
• 60 to 80 Days: Negative or strong feelings fade away. HardMode has changed to EasyMode
• 80 to 90 Days: More Willpower, More Motivation to do anything. You give your needs more attention and feel mostly positive undertone feeling.

Disclaimer: This is not the most detailed description and it can be very different during your reboot. This is just how I have experienced it

Challenges

• Most important, the urges: The can easily overwhelm you, especially in the beginning
• Argumention: Your brain will find Arguments for why an abstinence of pleasure is wrong and why you should allow yourself a little bit masturbation or a look on the model page of Instagram
• Sneaky habits: Your sensitivity for arousing stuff increases. You will find yourself unconsciously looking for nudity on YouTube, while surfing or seeing hot asses everywhere you go.
• Flatline and doubt: There will be a point, where you question your journey. This could maybe happen during the flatline: During this time, you will encounter a reduced or completely abstinence of urges, but also of desire for sex. Or you question the meaning of HardMode, because you do not experience benefits. You will likely have to face a time of negative feelings, suppressed by porn and now coming up.

Preparation

• The urges: What helped me most was cold showers, sport and meditation for the long run. The best direkt fixes of urges are: Leave the place you are and stop whatever you are doing. Take some deep breathes and focus on the breath. Do some quick push ups. And not to neglect: Do not drink alcohol or take any other drug during the reboot, at least not much. This takes you to an uncontrolled state, in which you will more likely relapse.
• Argumention: Know before hand, that these arguments will probably come up. Have a strong reason of why you want to quit porn forever and talk to yourself as if you would be your best friend. Be aware that it is okay for a while, to dispense with porn, masturbation and orgasm, because you will get much more pleasure afterwards.
• Sneaky habits: Get rid of everything that arouses you. Be aware of some changes in your perception, your brain can easily fool you. Step away from social media platforms for a while, because of semi nude images popping there up. Stop touching your penis or balls in any kind of way, other than for toilette or maybe cleaning. Be aware of new habits, that maybe give you unconsciously arousing feelings. E. g. I noticed, that I was developing a new fetish. It was suddenly arousing for me to sniff at a bra hanging in the drying room in my dorm.
• Flatline and doubt: No desire to sex or not having a boner is normal during a time in the reboot. Talk to others about your feelings, try to find new ways to handle your feelings, but do not suppress them. Be thankful for them, because it is just often a sign of your body, that something needs to be seen in your life, that might be bad for you. I encountered a uncomfortable feeling, when spending time with one of my friends and talked to my dad about it. I noticed, that my friend is some kind of way emotional unstable and that I feel overwhelmed by this, because I am a sensible person. Now I take a little more distance of him and watch what happens.

Benefits
I know, that now my actual "success story" starts, but wanted to give you also my learning about the challenges and how to face them, so that you can archive the 90 days too. If you observe these challenges know that it is part of the healing process of the brain. Aim for your great life with normal sexuality and enjoy the journey and see the challenges as tests.

• This point is referring to last sentences I wrote to the point "Flatline and doubt" for "preparation". This is the kind of benefit that I did not expect and is at the same time maybe the best benefit of all. I am talking about the increased sensitivity. You get in touch with your feelings more. You will probably sense that in different areas than I did, but I can say that you will find out more easy what you want, want is good for you and what is bad for you and you will have more energy and courage to talk to others honestly. Moreover this self respect will effect the people around you, because with more self respect, you will start to respect others too. I nearly started crying in emotional movies, especially in the movies "gladiator" and "braveheart".
• An also very great benefit is the motivation you have again. In the last weeks of the 90 days I started testing all kind of sports, being full on concentrate during university classes and talking to all kinds of people without fear. This motivation let to a stable daily routine I was motivated to install in my life. This is now my foundation to go after the things I really want.
• You will find yourself more at ease in social situations and talking to other girls. This is, because your sex drive normalizes and you do not think all the time of sex, when you see a women. You will stick out of the masses of men, that have all the sex look in their eyes and are desensitized of their feelings. You are more emotional stable and you can control yourself better. This leads also to more attractiveness, that girls sense.

I hope you found some useful information and motivation for your own journey,
I wish you all the best or as Wim Hof says,
all the love, all the power,
best regards,
Maximus

 

Yes you are right with the name.
I like Eckhart Tolle. He always has good videos. I do believe actually that you can meditate all the time, it is just being aware, not less not more. How to bring awareness in your life is another question: Best recommendations I have from him is: Be aware of the pauses between words and sentences he or people in general are saying.
Hold your hand in front of you and close your eyes. How do you know your hand is still there? Try to feel your hand.
Be aware of your breathe.

I am doing currently a little meditation of him once or twice a day. It takes 5 to 10 minutes:

1. Look casually around and be aware of your surroundings
2. Close your eyes and breathe in your abdomen. Be aware of the air going in and out
3. Feel your inner body. When you can feel it, your awareness of your body and your awareness become a single thing
4. Stay with this peaceful and joyful feeling 5-10 minutes
5. Open your eyes again and try to still feel your inner body

This is a Link to some videos, which are specially for this corona time, also with the meditation:
https://eckharttolle.com/free-resources/

 

I do not your complete situation. But be patient, normaly these urges will fade away after some days. Remind yourself of your vision that you have, whatever it is, and be aware that it will go away.
One funny way to cope this urges is, that you say to yourself: "I´ll do it tomorrow" every day. Or: "Tomorrow it is even better"
How long have you been these triggers so far?
Are their maybe some triggers, of which you are not aware of? Maybe some arousing stuff in your newspaper.

 

You´re welcome, playboi_dirti and ELN, I am happy to hear that the text is motivating you. I would recommend you to start your own journal, by that you can stay tuned to your streak and reflect on your bahavior and your experiences.
Feel free to visit my journal to get inspiration @ELN @playboi_dirti