MY SUCCESS STORY FOR 90+DAYS HARDMODE

Thanks God (Alhamdulillah) I have been breaking free from PMO for 95 days now. Its my third biggest streak to deal with PMO and I'm so happy to tell my story and my process of sobriety. I'm 28 yo male from Turkey. I've been struggling with this toxical disease for almost 16 years. In 2017, with the awareness of this addiction, I promised myself to embrace the recovery process and do my best to keep away from PMO for 1 whole year. For 4 months I had been incredibly motivated to maintain my sobriety and this led me to go for another 2 months and I hadn't watched for 186 days. After this pretty long streak, what I was doing such as eating junk food, being lazy and being stuck at home, binging Youtube frequently and complete social isolation caused me to get tremendous anxiety and a series of relapses for 3 weeks. After this 3 weeks, next summer in 2018 I achieved to be sober for 109 days this was my second biggest victory. After this month, I relapsed once or twice in 2 months per year until this current sobriety. Instead of telling you about the pros and superpowers I had so far, I'd like to give some tips why I believe I'm able to break free more than 90 days from this more than dangerous even drug addiction from my perspective.


The mistakes I made during my past experiences and the lessons I have taken from my failures


1. In 2017 I was free from more than 6 months but even in that time I didn't embrace my recovery process entirely. This time I want to prioritize my struggling with this addiction more than any other issue in my life.

2. I always had a extrinsic motivation to battle with PMO like praised by the people instead of intrinsic motivation like having a good relationship with people or self-respect. For instance, I thought I wanted to get rid of this addiction because my parents expect me to get married ASAP and this made me feel so stressed out and go craving for my bad habits crazily.

3. I stopped counting days every day as it’s useless without a clear goal. Rather, I use my counting as a weapon to keep me motivated in my recovery process. For example, I create an exact day for watching my current streak. This specific day generally is related to an important date such as the first day of Ramadan (a blessing month for We Mulisms which we keep fasting for 1 whole month) After 50 days of sobriety, I never watched the day of my streak,so I was always going with plan and finally today is the first day of Ramadan and I looked at my current streak. My reward is telling my victory for 3 months.

4. I never attached an importance to getting help. Actually In 2017 I confessed about my addiction to my parents but I never became accountible to my honesty and gave up having conversation with them about my healing. Now I have realized that without getting help(whether it is professional or from my loved ones), keeping away from PMO on my own is just UTOPIA.

I’m much more commited to talk about my difficulties and victories. They especially my mother is so patient about my deep problems based on PMO. We can talk about my recovery process and I can share my emotions and problems such as anger and anxiety. What’s more, as my financial situation is not bad, I decided to have a therapy session online per week. This man isn’t speacilized in PMO but he’s skilled at sexual problems especially for couples. We completed 2 therapy session and even in this short time he made me gain some amazing perspectives upon the root problems of this addiction. I’m going to have the meetings at least for 6 months. My ultimate goal is keeping away from PMO at least 1 year. I know we addicts, who are addicted so many years, need almost 2 whole years to rewire our brains completely. However, without being influenced from what others are thinking about me, I am crazy about getting married as soon as I got rid of PMO for a year. I swear ALLAH(God) I won’t ever give up struggling even after getting married.


5. Identifying my triggers made me gain great progresses during the recovery process. These are some of the triggers I have recognized so far. Watching youtube or any addictive social networking sites, spending time on laptop while lying on the bed(so my laptop is on my workdesk), staying in my private room (now I spend time there only to sleep or having video chat with my therapist). I always do my works and use my laptop next to my parents in my livingroom. and MUSIC of course. (It just distracts my feeling with super fantasizing stimulations.) Even though I reduced the time to be exposed to MUSIC and avoid the all kinds of songs, I still listen to classical musics. The last thing I did was using filters on both my laptop and my smartphone which hinders me from watching porn directly.

6. Most of the days since my last relapsing I’m super motivated to be disciplined. I have a well designed daily schedule which is based upon the clear outcomes and needs in my life. You know life is full of unexpected events and circumstances, and you can never predict what will be going on even in a month. (Coronavirus is the best proof for my claim) With this mindset, I designed my schedule in a flexible way so that I can easily change when new things has happened. This weekly schedule is at the same time addressing my spiritual, mental,physical and psychological needs and elements.For example; I go jogging everyday and it provides me both physical and mental benefits.

There are so many things I’d like to write down about things related my recovery process but I don’t want you to feel like a zombie lol. Even if I get rid of this addiction to death, in case of a new relapsing I won’t give up struggling and I will learn from my failures to reach out the FREEDOM.

 

These days I've been listening to a podcast on Scribd named "healing the addicted brain" even though I have never drunk alcohol in my life . It is indicated that the symptoms for triggers in all addictions related to brain has a lot in common. I don't know if alcohol addiction is directly linked to your pmo addiction but I know very well that taking alcohol is one of the strongest trigger to lead you to relapse.