There's something I don't understand

Why is personal development more of a source of pain and frustration for most people? There are so many posts from people who hate themselves.

I have the impression that for many people, personal development is more of a struggle than a source of fulfilment and love for oneself. I have the feeling that people take action in the hope of repairing a lack of confidence and to get results.

You never yell at a plant to make it grow faster. Why do this to yourself then? You listen to its needs, you take care of it as you would take care of your child.

For me, personal development is above all kindness and love for oneself. Not a fight.

I don't get it. I'm trying to make sense of this.

 

Yes we are not what we think we are. We're so much more than that. The answer to all this is right under our noses, but we're too obsessed to see it...

 

That’s a good thought. Ideally, self-improvement becomes a journey of love for oneself in the present and excitement about future possibilities.

Having said that, people often start out from a very low place.
Where you look in the mirror (literally or figuratively) and just can’t stand what you see. And that’s ok at first, I think. Whatever gets you moving, pushes you out of that rut. I have often felt like it was a fight... and it takes a while to become a joyful warrior!

 

That's very interesting what you're saying and very thoughtful. I think we all started from a great lack of self-confidence. I've experienced that, too. I also saw it as a struggle with myself.

But in time I realized I wasn't my own thoughts. We are much more than that. And it wasn't the action and effort that made me realize that. Just listening to me, listening to my thoughts and just being there. Taking time for myself, taking care of myself.

I just find it sad that for most people it's a struggle with a lot of frustration, failure and perseverance. I've been through it. But when I step back, I find it sad. It's not a struggle, it's just the opposite. It's love, gratitude, compassion...
Live without hopes, without expectations. Just live.

Maybe it is inevitable to go through these dark moments. I don't know to be honest

 

I'm glad to hear that and I wish you a full and fulfilling life.

I just find it sad that the relationship that most people have with themselves is negative, even though they have achieved their greatest dream. It's not even about trying hard and persevering.

Our journey doesn't have to be that difficult. We create our own pain. Instead of waiting for the fire to stop, we feed it even more.
I've been there. But looking back, I think it shouldn't have been so hard. I should have had the same relationship with myself as I'll do with my future son I think most people don't see things the way they really are...

 

It is because when you are too close.. You can't see it clearly. Sometimes you need someone else to tell you because they are seeing it from a distance and see clearly. And most of the time, we don't have that someone to tell us.. So we have to blunder through the process..

 

I don't think waiting to accomplish something to finally feel complete, accomplished and happy is healthy. I don't think the myth of fighting is real. I think too many people see it as a fight when they could start loving each other right away. Because happiness, self-love and compassion are not in the future or in what we will achieve. It's right here, right now, in front of us.

I've made my dreams come true. That's not what makes me happy.In fact, I don't care. It wouldn't have changed who I am if I had failed...I should have taken action not with this sense of struggle and frustration. But out of love. I have no regrets. But I think we have it all inside us. There's something wrong with the word "self development. There is nothing to develop. The answer lies within us, not outside...

I didn't develop anything. I just destroyed my beliefs. But the truth is, I already had everything I was looking for before I started. I just wasn't looking in the right place because everything was obscured by my mind.

 

I think most people will identify with what you say. And that's normal. But it's sad at the same time