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The Great Wall, yet Thin Line between Porn and Sexuality - Perspective

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by JohnnyNoFap, May 21, 2015.

How's it working out for you..?

  1. PMO is indeed affecting my (sexual) relationship, but the Line is still thick enough

    6 vote(s)
    54.5%

  2. PMO is indeed affecting my (sexual) relationship and the Line is fading/has faded

    5 vote(s)
    45.5%

  3. PMO is not affecting my (sexual) relationship at all

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. May 21, 2015 #1
    JohnnyNoFap

    JohnnyNoFap Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys/girls,

    I find myself in an experiment which takes part in my own head atm. Yes, PMO is infecting my relationship and, yes, it's hard. I'm having this great amazing girlfriend for 3 months now and things are going well! However, PMO is still inbetween. I've come to a point where I realise that PMO has nothing to do with an ACTUAL (sexual) relationship. Yes, we already knew that, of course. But why? I've heard stories of men that are/were married but still felt the need to PMO. Why?! Yes, you have your girlfriend/wife, but why doesnt she satisfy? Because it's not about her in the first place! For example: I had a great week with my GF a while back. We had fun, talked a lot... But the first thing I did when I got back home was PMO! She was wondering, me too. We've spent a whole week together and yet I needed it! It's not linked! Sure, you can link it, wouldn't do that, though... Even though the same chemicals are released during sex or PMO, it has nothing to do with eachother. A relationship is something that is pure in it's own existence. So why do we need images/movies to please us? It's psychological. We get changed by PMO. Once we've seen, no way back, right? It happened to all of us. See how many, I also. have tried and failed and tried and failed. It's not about sex. It's about needing something. Needing it so bad, we link it with our relationships. How? Prostitutes, cheating. Maybe it seems high unlikely, but I know it's happening out there... And thats what it wants. To involve what's so dear to us, that there's just no way back. I don't wanna be that guy... Ever.

    -JohnnyNoFap-
     
    JohnnyNoFap, May 21, 2015
    JohnnyNoFap, May 21, 2015
    #1
    Ray Breslin, Limeaid and wildwood like this.
  2. May 22, 2015 #2
    Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    You are right it is actually not about sex but about a dopamine high! If you were a heroine addict you would need that high whether or not you had just had sex. Exactly the same.
     
    Limeaid, May 22, 2015
    Limeaid, May 22, 2015
    #2
  3. May 22, 2015 #3
    therealjocab

    therealjocab Fapstronaut

    128
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    One thing I've slowly learned is that it's about the thrill of knowing I shouldn't be doing it. It started a curiosity in my teen years but I knew I shouldn't have been PMO back then. It's nearly the same thrill as a one night stand or now when I'm tempted to cheat on my girlfriend. It's a slippery slope that only gets steeper the longer you indulge.
     
    therealjocab, May 22, 2015
    therealjocab, May 22, 2015
    #3
  4. May 27, 2015 #4
    jbastoniv

    jbastoniv Fapstronaut

    334
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    It is the furthest from sex, you got that right part, it is all fantasy, fake women having fake pleasure all for your entertainment. But it does effect sex, it will eventually effect your ability to have healthy sex and for your partner to arouse you so you can have sex. I can say PMO is way worse than PMO because I am old enough know life before PMO, and MO never interfered with my ability to get aroused or DE or anything of the likes.

    It is a habit though. First you have to want to quit, then you have to commit to quitting. Then you have to set yourself up for success by not leaving opportunities. And staying diligent is key.

    The habit does break, and you can break it, you can control it, but only if you want it. It's like quitting smoking, you really really have to want it for yourself and no once else.

    But one thing for sure, it is an addiction, a very very strong addiction that your mind will rationalize you into doing if you let it.
     
    jbastoniv, May 27, 2015
    jbastoniv, May 27, 2015
    #4
    Kurapika likes this.

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