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a horrible feeling of being lonely and rejected

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by yassine90, Apr 29, 2020.

  1. yassine90

    yassine90 Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone, I am new in the forum. I am struggling to stop porn addiction and masturbation. I am now on my 16 day but I want to confess something wishing for help.
    I had always suffred from lonliness and rejection everywhere I go, university, work,...it feels so terrible. there are moments when I wish I never exist
    although that I am a very kind person, very helpful to others.
    When I was sudying, I overcame those feelings by hard working and I feel rewarded when I got the heighest rankings but when I start working, rejection and loneliness came to surface again. I felt no worthy and with no any value in any working environment because I cannot share my opinions and competences.
    I have a great will to quit porn but those terrible feelings make me relapse every time I have a peak crisis.
    I calm myself by telling that maybe it is a destiny and maybe God know what I feel and will have mercy on me.
     
    vickyksr likes this.
  2. Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

    So these thoughts and feelings are things that a LOT of people struggle with. I personally struggle with rejection from my mother and my older sister from a very young age. Through a lot of therapy, I learned that because of all the rejection, my mind created this fantasy world, consisting of porn, where I would never be rejected by a woman I found attractive. I self-loathe because of all the rejection as well. I HATE talking about my problems and troubles because I always feel like people are judging me and belittling me in their heads as I talk about my problems. But I joined an SA group, I attend weekly meetings, I got a sponsor, an AP, and a CSAT therapist, and I'm working on my issues. No, its obviously not easy, or quick, and yes, there are days when I want to throw my hands up, give up, and dive head first into a BINGE or porn watching and masturbating. And one of the worst things about it is that neither my mother or my sister have any clue about my addiction, or how they treated me as a kid. Mom thinks she was the perfect mother and my sister may think there were a few times when she could've been a little nicer, but that's it. They have no idea the trauma they put me though, or how hard it still is to deal with all that crap sometimes.

    I highly suggest finding a hobby that you enjoy doing. Maybe you'll be able to find and connect with some friends through that. If not, maybe talk online to some people who share your religious beliefs, or political beliefs. I talk online a lot with some friends about my hobby, which is comic books, comic book movies, and just comic book characters in general. That helps me out sometimes when I feel isolated because of the quarantine, or when I just feel a little lost and lonely.

    I hope this helps at least a little. God bless and I wish you the best of luck!
     
  3. yassine90

    yassine90 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much brother for your advice, I will try to plan well my time to avoid emptiness and loneliness. May God bless you!
     
  4. Wolf7

    Wolf7 Fapstronaut

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    More than likely you're feeling this way because you're fapping all of your energy away. Your semen is literally your life force, it comes out of your spine, out of your testicles, and into your napkin, or bedsheet or whatever place you waste it at. To be fair, everyone is alone is this world and loniliness is the only truth there is. We are created alone in the womb and when we die we will die utterly alone, in a coffin, for hundrends and thousands of years, alone. No one will jump in with us and no one will tag along into the afterlife to stay with us. Friends are all temporary, so is family. Everyone you know and will ever know will be gone one day and that's the reality of the matter. You won't have people around you every single moment of every day anyway while you're living. Lonliness is perfectly okay and when you get on a journey like this being alone is what carves you out from others. Anyway, when you relapse it increases your anxiety, and it increases your feeling of depression and lonliness. When you're on a high semen retention streak see how much less you feel lonely, or rather how less it even matters. You'll realize being alone does not matter and it's better to be alone than in company of superficiality and small talk just to pass the time. You can do this my friend, stay on the journey and don't relapse, you will feel better, I promise.
     
    Deleted Account and Arkin like this.

  5. To OP, would try to cultivate kindness to myself as well, do gratitude journaling and make sure to congratulate yourself whenever you do something well. Liking yourself is a key factor in being likable to others. But also recognize that becoming a more social person is hard work. You're gonna have to break down your own walls. How does a typical day at work play out?
    As opposed to passing the time with video games, netflix or scrolling Facebook being in company of people, even if the interactions are superficial, is one hell of an improvement. Everyone are different, but in general humans are social animals and lack of social connection is probably the #1 thing making young people unhappy. I'd be interested to know what advice you'd give to women who feel lonely. I don't mean to put down nofap, but I think hyping it as the univeral solution to all life problems is just going to leave him severely disappointed.
     
  6. Wolf7

    Wolf7 Fapstronaut

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    I don’t do nofap, I practice semen retention. I have a few people I consider friends and whenever I want to talk to anyone male or female I just walk up and approach them, that’s plenty of social interaction as I do that almost every day. You don’t need to be in the company of people who don’t even care about you or make you feel even more lonely just so you won’t be by yourself. Being by yourself will help you like yourself more, and that’s truth right there. Talking to people is great and makes me happy personally, it’s scientifically proven that dopamine is released from social activity however if you’re using people to replace the lack of self worth you have inside then that’s bad
     
  7. I dont eat a fruit, I eat an apple.
    I don't have any people I consider friends IRL. But go on and tell me how that's completely fine from your place of de facto priviliege.
    I'm not saying all social interaction is positive, but generally speaking being social is going to be good for your well being even if it's with complete strangers. Putting down being social is to be ridiculous, there's so many worse things you could do with your time.
    I've spent years by myself (as a result of social anxiety). Surprise, didn't improve my sense of self worth.

    PS. Yes, I'm in a bad mood, sorry.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 30, 2020
    Joe1023 likes this.

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