Quick check just to confirm that despite is a tough period for me I am keeping strong on the challenge and the good habits of sleeping
Good to hear from you man. I just had a really shitty start into the new month. I drop a lot of things. This makes me feel unsatisfied and sad. Still life is to short to stick with misery. I will start by tonight taking this month challenge serious.
Another month passed by and I messed up my this month's challenge a lot. I did only write down my next day's activities about 5 times. Well instead of having succeeded I was too lazy. Now I can feel the pressure of the double amount of stuff I will have to cover. The lesson I got out of this is: If I do not work on my goals on a daily /monthly basis it will get harder to apply all habits at once instead of one per month.
The Instructions for Month No.4 are online: The Morning Accelerator 2 - Morning Routine Have fun learning to say NO
So last month I've been quiet good in the task, I prepared my following day often(like 20/29) still I slipped in watching some P. I slipped once, but I am already willing to go back on this path and with the challenges. So if I can continue the challenge, I will start with the morning accelerator.
It is OK for me man. Carry on with the quest as long as long as you look out for the reason why you had a weak moment. What was the need beneath that urge to watch porn?
Well the trigger was a tough moment of stress. I had bad news from university few days before, and during that days we(Nothern Italy) had been hitted by coronavirus, I had been forced to stay home and I slipped, but this is not an excuse, and most important I reflected that I am not healed yet. Because I am young, and I started this addiction with P, I mean I always lived with the belief that P is good,quiet embarassing but I am still virgin so P is the only link to pleasure I've ever had, for me(until last year) there could not be M without P(sometimes I was used to watch P without M). So I think that the problem is that P is still there in my head, I have to work on that, I want to be able to understand that P is the worst enemy and that everything else can come afterwards
OK. You know that stress was the trigger. But why? What is the unfulfilled need beneath that? Or to ask in a different way: what did you think you could cover or ease with watching some porn?
Ok I understood what you're asking now. Well it's a tough question, but I think that the answer is within my obsession with perfectionism. I stopped PMO because it was ruining my life. I wasn't able to focus on my studies, I was losing a lot of time in watching porn, so I think that the stress from the failure in university tricked my mind in some thoughts like "you did this streak this way, so for next semester we need to change plan, but before we will watch porn and we will have completely failed". I know it's a weird thought but I think that kind of person that wants everything or nothing.
Thank you for your answer. If you really want to know the answer to this question and to find out more about the root cause of the addiction. Then just use the question multiple times and always add the the last answer to your new question? For example : Question: What was is good for? Answer: to help me express my need for perfection. Question: what was it good for to express your need for perfection? Answer : I .....
LOGFILE.1 DAYS IN CHALLENGE: 1day but have+ 23day's on the counter so gonna reset that counter (Counter date reminder: 2020/03/03 = original start date of your former counter. This will help you to update your counter after completing the Challenge) VISION: REWARDS FOR COMPLETING: YEAR:Engagement at a vacation/ hotel or spa with my partner and our child YEAR:Celebration 2 years without p and go out and eat and new job YEAR:Open all doors and let unconscious people / family know about everything and acknowledge it and tell my life and how i got here i am today Year 4 I want to surprise my partner with marriage and ask about her hand and heart for the rest of our lives and a new child MASSIVE REWARD FOR COMPLETING THE 1:50:0 CHALLENGE:[/QUOTE] @Snakeloa
@säg nej till porr great man. Now you fill out your vision, the massive goal and the "empty" monthly challenges (the ones without the orange Challenges in it)
Vision: Nr 1 : I want to develop in myself better in all way’s ! Nr 2 : leaving the bad habbits behind for the rest off my life and never fall back in bad habbits. Nr 3 : I will progress in my proffesion/work and my pc games and learn new things. I want to enjoy life! Nr 4 : i want to feel good and happy with my family and live a unbelivebel happy life for the rest off my life <3 massive goal my biggest goal is to live happy and a hassle-free life with my woman whom i love with all my heart and just want us to be happy for the rest of our lives because she never deserved what I exposed her to…. I want to move out of this apartment and move into houses that are my vision and my dream. I see myself and my woman in 40 years and we live happy lives with jobs and more kid’s and dog’s running around the yard and we got married. 1. MONTHLY MILESTONES: (Orange is mandatory) (Black is my milestones) 1. : Kill The Time Wasters 2. : The Morning Accelerator 1 - Gratefulness & Willpower 3. : Be Prepared- Ready, Set, Sleep 4. : The Morning Accelerator 2 - Morning Routine 5. : The Unvarnished Truth 6. : The Clean Up 7. : The Ruthless Inventory 8. : The Secret Mapmaker 9. : The Allies Around 1 10. : The Workout 1 11. : three course dinner. 12. : Drop The Heavy Burden 13. : Inner Gold 14. : Believes Of Why 15. : The Shift 16. : Hitlist And Superfuel 17. : go to the cinema with my woman. 18. : cuddle at home with my sweetheart and watch movies and order home vegansweets and food. 19. : Celebration of Connection 20. : road tripp somewher 21. : acknowledge and talk more with my wife about everything and why and where everything started and what my goal is 22. : The Gift 23. : game night with my beloved 24. : make dinner for my love’d and push her to reach her goal with the training <3 25. : The Vision Readjusted 26. : 27. : 28. : 29. : 30. : 31. : The Workout 2 32. : The Allies Around 2 - Supercharged 33. : To be revealed 34. : To be revealed 35. : To be revealed 36. : 37. : The New Beginning 38. : 39. : 40. : 41. : 42. : 43. : 44. : 45. : 46. : 47. : 48. : 49. : 50. : Prepare Your Celebration @Snakeloa
Sometimes you have to touch the lowest to understand. Really bad news from Govt, caused me anxiety and led to relapse, but it was strange, I mean it has been like a punishment instead of a "supposed" moment of pleasure. So I understood where my problem lies. I don't accept to be "normal". To suffer like other people, I always want to be stronger, to be an example, to achieve like the 500% more of anyone else, and then life hit and remember me that no matter what maybe just because I live in the wrong zone now I've to be blocked, and my castle fall down. And I punish myself. I "watch" it to punish my normality. I watch it to tell myself "learn how umiliating is to be normal". I've to accept that it is okay to not feel okay sometimes and I don't need to punish myself for this.
M, 22, Single here. Excited to join this ultimate challenge! LOGFILE NO.7 OF: @NeverSurrender823 DAYS IN CHALLENGE: 0 (Counter date reminder: 03/28/2020 = original start date of your former counter. This will help you to update your counter after completing the Challenge) VISION: To build my own company within the next 5 years, while also becoming an elite runner (trail-runner) within the same timeframe. Finding a future wife with good Christian values that I can spend the rest of my life with, while starting a beautiful family. Rebuilding myself through a slew of better habits and to let go of past traumatic events/stressors. REWARDS FOR COMPLETING: YEAR: Moving out of parent's house and generating my own income by getting a solid job YEAR: Transformed body YEAR: Personal running records and 5,000 followers of my company's Twitter account YEAR: Long vacation that would include visits to South America and Asia MASSIVE REWARD FOR COMPLETING THE 1:50:0 CHALLENGE: Nationally recognized elite athlete that owns a thriving company MONTHLY MILESTONES: (Orange is mandatory) : Kill The Time Wasters : The Morning Accelerator 1 - Gratefulness & Willpower : Be Prepared- Ready, Set, Sleep : The Morning Accelerator 2 - Morning Routine : The Unvarnished Truth : The Clean Up : The Ruthless Inventory : The Secret Mapmaker : The Allies Around 1 : The Workout 1 : Digging Deep : Drop The Heavy Burden : Inner Gold : Believes Of Why : The Shift : Hitlist And Superfuel : : : Celebration of Connection : : : The Gift : : : The Vision Readjusted : : : : : : The Workout 2 : The Allies Around 2 - Supercharged : To be revealed : To be revealed : To be revealed : : The New Beginning : : : : : : : : : : : : : Prepare Your Celebration
Men I need to be honest here. I will have to restart again. I had a reset followed up by a few more resets. I am happy how long I managed to stay clean. And I will see how fast I will be able to rejoin my challenge here. I just need some time to see what I need now. If someone wants to carry on and figure out how the next monthly challenges will look like. Feel free to do so and share them with us here. I have no energy at the moment to do this. Maybe soon