[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 4 check in

 

18 days complete

Very tough day today and yesterday. Been touching on some deep emotional pain and had a counseling session this morning. All that stuff coming up really triggers urges.

The main thing I've been wrestling with is letting my mind wander to fantasy. Sometimes it seems like I didn't even make a conscious choice, I just find my mind playing out some scenario or image and have to call myself back to reality, back to the present moment. That's how powerful the urge for chemical balance in your brain is. Chemistry fires and the brain produces thoughts (again, sometimes seemingly without conscious choice, although I'm sure I can learn to control even this)! The trouble is that I think mental fantasy is in the same direction as porn. You may not be looking at an outside source for stimulus (like a video) but you're still letting yourself get aroused by something imaginary. This state of arousal induced by the imaginary is exactly the same when you look at porn. Porn just helps you get there with less effort. So, those fantasy thoughts and images gotta go too!! They reinforce the porn brain. Ultimately, it's just another way to escape reality.

At the end of the day, that's the real tragedy of porn addiction. That a person would invest their heart and mind into a fruitless, imaginary world instead of into the real, flesh-and-blood life they're been given. When we train ourselves to do this, we train ourselves to deprive the world and everyone in it of all the wonderful, beautiful things we're capable of as human beings. You have energy, you have time. With those resources you can build amazing things IN REALITY for yourself and for others. When you invest those resources in porn, you literally throw them away into any inky, black hole of nothingness that leaves you empty-handed. The tragedy of porn (and of all comfort-centerned mentalities) is a wasted life.

Each one of you is a precious gift to this planet. I believe in you with all my heart. What will you do with that gift?

 

Day 18 One day at a time.

 

I feel so stupid.... Relapsed again. Everytime I feel better the longer I am off porn and still I f'd it up. I threw everything out. Everything porn related I still had. A hard drive which I tucked away like Pandora's box. I hope it will be different this time.

0/90

 

Day 50.

 

Lovely points! Thank you for them! At 18th and 19th day I had exactly same emotional rollercoster! I felt depressed, low, lonely.... but i knew that after every rainy day/days theres sunny one to come and it did indeed. Trust me my friend once you pass those hard days.. you'll be stronger and more determined to crack on forward!
Be like a warrior!

 

hello everybody!, day 10 here, hope you all have a great year!

 

day 44/90...

 

Day 12 done

 

#day 10 feeling great

 

Day 57/90

 

Day 17/90 almost done..

What do people do after day 90? Binging on PMO 'cause you made it would be the worst thing, right? So I would think you keep going.. but then today is not day 17 of 90, it's day 17 of the rest of my life. Or is that a bad way to look at it? Sorry if this is an obvious beginner question.

 

Today is day 28

 

Day 5 done

 

I relapsed yesterday, will start all over again. Day 0/90

 

15 days, 360 hours of the rest of my life

 

Day 20 no M,
Day 125 no P!

Relaxing today, so no motivation videos will be back with one tomorrow!
Keep it going and keep yourselves busy even when relaxing!

 

25/90

 

Guys I made it 40 days, then I made a pretty dumb mistake so I have to reset. I'm disappointed in myself, but not much to do but start over right now. Day 0.

 

Day 11.

Bloody Corona restrictions driving me mad. !@#$!@$!@$

Minor slip day before yesterday. After stumbling upon an innocent sounding reddit that wasn't so innocent, I briefly lost control. But I closed all tabs before seeing much if anything, and then walked away. Didn't count it as a relapse. Anyway, it was a good lesson to say "no" earlier on. And to not browse aimlessly!