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day 19 agression and got into a streetfight, in need of some insights

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by tokuchi, May 3, 2020.

  1. tokuchi

    tokuchi Fapstronaut

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    Well, just as the title says. I have been doing NoFap for a year now, my highest streak is 135 days. I have experience with all kinds of streaks. And one pattern that seems to persist is that I get aggressive around day 20. Sometimes it is day 21 or day 24, this time it was day 19.

    I never got into a fight before on such a streak. But is like my mind is itching for one around this day and I will take major offence to the slightest of remarks. I know the fault is with me and that I should exert more willpower to control myself and I often do. Except for this time, I snapped after someone insulted me. And got into a streetfight, fortunately, the fight didn't last long and both parties weren't majorly injured and I exerted some rationality at the end where I just walked away.

    I am pretty experienced with NoFap as I explained, but I am sure there are people that are even more experienced than me. Can some enlighten me on why this happens? And any other thoughts or insight about this phenomenon. Oh and also very important, have you experienced this? Do you get aggressive on NoFap and at what day usually?

    Thank you for reading and I do no advocate fighting or major aggression, it was simply my fault for not being able to control myself and I kinda feel bad for the other guy now that I am in a more clear mindstate.

    Thank you.
     
  2. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    This is quite normal.
    Why Aggression?
    You were using pmo as an outlet .now you don't have this option ( it appears to be that anger is your second drug of choice.)
    The problem is never addiction nor anger , it is the underlying cause- anxiety.
    And to me anxiety is not a curse reserved to the mentally ill people , it is the core of being human.
    It is nothing but the tension between the subconscious and conscious forces.
    My advice for you : know thyself. Learn about these forces and know your psychological triggers.
    Ask god for help by continuously asking "god reveal me to me."
    "Know yourself and you will win all battles " lao tzu
    As for the solution to Aggression ( i have the same problem - anger is my 3rd drug of choice after pmo and food) i do:
    -meditation.
    -breathwork.
    - exercise.
    -gratitude.
    - i also shout my lungs out in the car while driving alone - or in the shower - while having a cold shower. This is a great and safe outlet- surprisingly enough if i am not anxious it is near impossible to be angry.
    Prayer ( i am not religious but rather spiritual).
    I hope that helps.
     
    recon117, Deleted Account and tokuchi like this.
  3. tokuchi

    tokuchi Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, interesting points. I think that coffee is my number 1 contributor to anxiety. I am going to stop coffee tomorrow. Interesting perspectives, thanks.
     
  4. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    There are probably 2 main reasons

    Anxiety, from withdrawal, or just your brain recalibrating.

    Or, probably a testosterone spike, from not masturbating for 3 weeks. Fapping reduces Testosterone, but, when doing nofap, it comes back in a huge wave.
     
    recon117 and tokuchi like this.
  5. False promise

    False promise Fapstronaut

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    I’ll put it this way, you get a high from pmo, and you also get an adrenaline high from anger. You’re substituting one high for another. I struggle with the same thing, but neither pmo nor anger are good for your mind or body. I’m learning to take the same discipline, same composure that nofap requires, and using it to work on controlling anger. It’s all about control. Recognize that anger is not good for you or for others. Use the strategies you’ve learned to keep calm when urges come on, to keep calm when anger comes up.
     
    Di.Do.555 likes this.
  6. tokuchi

    tokuchi Fapstronaut

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    Thank you man very insightful, never thought of anger as an addiction or compulsion.
     
    False promise likes this.
  7. Respect for taking responsibility of your actions, that's the first step to controlling yourself
    The anger you feel is totally normal, but don't feed it man, just let it be and try finding a healthy outlet for it
    Boxing, martial arts, hitting the gym, or doing any masculine physical activity, channel that masculinity into some positive activity, you will feel extremely calm after doing this, trust me, you'll be cold and deal with insults like a boss
    Good luck man
     
    Di.Do.555 likes this.
  8. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Got anger? Put it all into a punching bag. I sometimes grab an AK (with a drum attached), go to a range, and spray ammo at a barrel, when I'm angry. or I just punch a punching bag, but I don't get angry very often.
     
  9. LimpyMcgee

    LimpyMcgee Fapstronaut

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    Maybe aggression is proof of increased testosterone
     
    Kawabdivine likes this.
  10. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

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    Man you are an alpha now, what would you expect?
     

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