[Journal]Rebuilding myself

That was an old photo from feb 2019. I was in alanganallur. Not now.

 

My plan was to reduce the habit in stages.
Step 1: give up porn.
But even this is taking all my will power. This also means that iam going in the right direction. I will complete my target of eliminating the urge to watch porn no matter what. As my life is messed up already...i have nothing to lose. Fight like this is my death match and live to tell the tale.

 

Dai don't go hard on yourself da. Take small steps da. What's your goal this time? 1 month? 90 days? Or What was your previous streak? Let's try to reach there first.

 

I have saved this from Reddit.

"The truth about how to quit PMO:
So you want to quit watching porn and whacking off? Admirable choice. Now just get to it. Seriously, once you decide you want to quit, stop all the bullshit and just be honest with yourself. I hate seeing all the posts "Just relapsed. Never again. Who's with me?" only for them to post the same damn thing 5 days later. If you truly want to quit, just stop. Every time you say that, and every time you relapse, you only become weaker because your word means nothing. Stop wasting time on social media, stop reading this forum, stop telling yourself you are gonna quit and just fucking quit already. I'd also say stop with the day counter. Who cares if you made it X amount of days. This should be like turning off a light switch. If you want to quit, just stop. It's a lifestyle choice, once you make the decision, you should honor it. Once I decided to stop, that was it, a multi-year habit gone. I don't play games like that. Stop with the bullshit. Its gonna be tough sure, but what's tougher is living with yourself knowing that you have no self-control."

Good luck da!

 

Me too.

 

My goal no porn for 30 days. Plan the step after that.

 

Like this: https://images.app.goo.gl/XkAL7e2e8ZuhseP98 ; Make one for 30 days and stick it on the wall in your room. ​

 

1. COLD SHOWERS.
   
   
2. EXERCISE.
   
   
3. MEDITATION.
   
   
4. REDUCING PHONE USAGE.
   
   
5. HAVING ENOUGH TIME FOR WORKING UPON YOUR GOALS.
   
   
6. HAVING ENOUGH SLEEP.
   
   
7. FIND YOUR OWN WAYS TO MAKE YOURSELF A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF.
   
   
8. SELF IMPROVEMENT, READING, LEARNING A NEW SKILL.
   
   
9. WAKING UP EARLY IN THE MORNING.
   
   
10. GO TO SLEEP EARLY.
    

 

10 days of no porn. My urges have reduced. I feel a little purified...for the lack of better word. Porn had messed my mind and distorted how i see sex. No i have a glimpse of a better mindset and have a newfound motivation for a better life.

 

Two weeks of no porn. Now have the motivation to make it through to the entire month. Will survive.

 

Haha...thanks bro

 

Yesterday i introduced a new habit along with my No Porn resolution. I won’t tell you right now...but after the end of this month. Hope it becomes a new habit. Wish me well.

 

Three weeks of no porn...almost there.

 

30 days no porn. Phew.

 

Good day to my fellow Fapstronauts…….Its been a long journey and i want to pour out my heart from the beginning…..
I First started to masturbate on September of 2015. I was going through a tough time with the loss of a family member. With intense grief and no coping mechanism for it, i resorted to fapping on a whim.

Initially i felt great. I had access to unlimited free wifi and it was fap mania and i was going at it for three or four times a day.

The first year of my fapping was my final year of college and surrounded by my friends, i didn’t feel any loneliness.

What followed for the next five years was a literal hell…..
I was and still am pursuing my dream and i had to stay alone away from family and friends. The mental strain on working hard for my goal and repeated failures year after year did not help me stop the habit of fapping.
Added to the grief was the depression and anxiety that made it impossible for me to stop it. Every time i did the deed, i would curse myself for getting into this. It was by sheer luck that i didn’t take up drinking and smoking.

There was no stopping it and i resigned myself to the point where i began to give up on my goal.
After three years of this nightmare by the end of 2018 i randomly googled if there were others like myself and landed on this community. Due to my mental helplessness i initially was sceptical of this forum and would just read about other people’s struggle.

The fact that other were going through the same thing and were fighting to change themselves slowly gave me motivation to change myself. Slowly i tried to change my behaviour but with no success. My longest was 10 days of NoFap and i gave in after that.

The COVID situation also did not help. However, things started to change this year. Maybe because i was tired of this charade, something stirred within me. I had not yet stopped fapping, but i started to fap less and less everyday. I became aggressive with my goals and challenged myself(which i hadn’t done in a long time) to stop this madness for a month. I began on 31st of july at 8:00 pm IST and here iam on the 31st of august….writing this after SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETING MY ONE MONTH CHALLENGE.

FUCK YEAH. I have never felt such joy in the past 6 years. I want roar at the top of my lungs for this. You guys know how painful and tough it is to stop this behaviour.

All i want to say is that now i am optimistic about my life and i will achieve my goal this year.

I want to thank you guys for being a constant support. To those who are struggling to stop fapping…..let me tell you…its worth the pain and effort to stop the behaviour.

Don’t give up. I want all the people here to stop fapping and look forward for a brighter life.

 

Good day fellas…Its DAY 32
Now, controlling my urges seems like breathing. Its so damn easy. I feel like a different person. My perspective have changed on everything.
I feel more confident,
My energy is high,
The near constant pain in my heart has completely disappeared,
I am more relaxed,
My anger issues have reduced and above all
I AM SO HAPPY……….
Optimistically continuing my streak.

 

I AM PISSED OFF……….



At studies saying that fapping and porn is good. I mean……DO WE LOOK LIKE FOOLS?
They just use a few participants to do some “experiments” and say that fapping is healthy….
Whereas, here we have thousands of members saying it feels good to leave that crap.
Do they not listen? There are scientists who warn of porn and its impact on brain(https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2UjsmTlsL1IhqiRt2oKvXA).

There is a saying in my native tongue which goes “ Even divine nectar is bad on overconsumption”.

I think, the ultra liberal community wants to protect “sex for all and hookups” and their first line of defence is free access to porn. So they try to defend it, saying that it is good for us.

But we must stand strong, for we have suffered the impact of porn and masturbation. We must show the world that there are tangible benefits of abstinence.

If our sufferings do not reach other people, what can reach them?