How to Build an Iron Mind

Hello fellow Fapstronauts,

I am attaching a link to my story.

http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/self-improvement-quest.38749/

In this thread I will share some experiences and thoughts on how to build mental toughness. Mind you, I am no YODA or super mental athlete. I am just a beginner and have failed many times, but I have studied the issue a lot. Now I need to start applying the theory to make real progress.

The first rule of mental toughness is the capacity to "delay gratification". The voice is screaming in your head. It is asking us to go to a porn website. If your addiction has progressed, it might be worse. You may be tempted to go to a massage parlor, hire an escort, get into a "casual sex" website. When the temptation arrives, it seems unbearable at first. But can we do something relatively simple? Can we just breathe a few times and state the following: "I am not sure whether I can be strong forever. I have failed before but I am not going to fail now. Just this time, I am committed to keep fighting. I will NOT fall into the trap for the next 10 minutes. I will remain strong and focused. Ten minutes is not the end of the world and I can do it". If we can resist ten minutes, and delay gratification, your brain will change little by little. After 10 minutes the urges are likely to be weaker and we should try doing something else, listen to some music, exercise, etc. Little by little, our brain learns to resist the discomfort and focus on something else...

 

Here's another idea to build an Iron Mind and I do not think it is particularly insightful or novel, but it works for me. Our bodies get used to whining a lot: we feel tired, hungry, cold, hot, etc. We then react like automatons most of the time: we complain about the situation and have a perception of being "miserable" for a while. We linger in negative thoughts. But how about following the Buddha's advice: the first moment of discomfort is like a "dart" hitting your body, but it is the "second dart" that you create in your mind that matters. How we think about the event that just occurred, determines our capacity to handle it and it can even affect our own perception of things. In my case, next time I feel an urge, or I feel anxiety or irritation for something that has just happened, I will just breathe and observe the dart that hit my body. Then I will say: "this is an emotional reaction to a physical sensation that I can handle. There is no need to amplify this or feel that it is unbearable. The first dart was small and the second is manageable because I decide to make it so". I read that a great secret for success in any activity in life is the capacity to STAY CALM. Great leaders are capable of demonstrating this skill in the most stressful situations. We can be leaders of our own life. I am no GURU but I share this with you hoping to remind myself of what is important.

 

Many thanks greatman, And what is the role of the cold showers? how do they help build an iron mind? Is the role of discomfort useful to train yourself on how to withstand urges and tame your mind?

 

Building an Iron Mind is not Easy. Ask yourself what you need to do to get stronger. Here are some tips:

1) Accept life as it is. Do not whine, gossip or complain. These are like viruses of the mind.
2) Live in the present moment. If your mind is constantly wandering about, reliving the past, worrying about the future, etc. You become a robot. You are not in control. An iron mind requires being in the present moment. Check out the book by Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now".
3) Be a Ninja, always on the alert for toxins that can contaminate your brain. These can take two forms: mental toxins (e.g. negative thoughts, excessive worry, too much self-importance) or physical handicaps. If you can, you should exercise and remain fit. There is no need to become a slave to your body. No need to impress any one. But you should try to stay healthy.
4) Be Honest. If you are not. Your remorse will not allow your brain to function well. You will carry regrets. An iron mind cannot be built on a heap of straw, on false perceptions, thoughts or actions.
5) Think about others before yourself. If you help others, they will help you. A positive feeling of accomplishment and purpose will come to your life.

If you do all these things (other ideas welcome) you are on your way to build an Iron Mind...

 

What else can we do to Build an Iron Mind? What else?

Here's a simple equation:

Iron Mind = Capacity to Remain CALM. It means you are able to observe what is happening to you from a detached position.

Somebody mentioned taking cold showers. Another technique is the Plank:



As you add seconds to this position, your mind gets used to handling discomfort and it becomes stronger. Give it a try!