Everyone I've ever viewed is a person

I should clarify. In my original post, I said, "I have been spit on(by a bf years ago), but this is worse".

He has never spit on me. He has been verbally abusive in every way though.

My faith rests on God's Word alone. Not on, "God told me". God speaks through His Word and that's the authority I submit to. The Bible speaks clearly on marriage, and I thoroughly believe...as we are in Christ, marriage is God's doing. I entered as a believer and that's what my husband got--a believer. We both married sinners, because there is no one else to marry.

God can call any one of His daughters into a ministry of fire--refinement marked by suffering to minister to the lost captive souls in addiction...especially our husband. There is no criteria to being a "helpmate". And biblically "help" is not just rolling over in submission and cooking meals. Wives are also called to be friends, and sharpen as iron sharpens iron. This alone brings conflict. Marriage is a spiritual battlefield. I would caution my single sisters to consider very carefully the vows of "for better or worse". The "worse" is mistreatment. There is no leaving that part off. Which is why Paul so strongly encouraged to remain as he is.
I never would've prayed for this, but God set it before me. So what do I do while I'm here? Lean into His Word and trust in Him.

Again, there is grace to leave, but also grace to stay. Thank you for caring and sharing your thoughts/feelings. And thank you for praying.

 

[QUOTE = "Beloved98, publicación: 2446239, miembro: 377615"] Eso es un comienzo.

Seré tan sincero ahora mismo. El uso de mi esposo me ha llevado a actuar de una manera que nunca hubiera pensado en MILLONES DE AÑOS.

Para empezar, confesó después de que di a luz. Mi útero aún no estaba completamente encogido, así que todavía tenía la barriga.

El comportamiento odioso de mi esposo entró en vigencia, creo que después de que lo dejó / lo intentó. Todavía no sé si fue su renuncia o lucha lo que causó la ira. Pensé que estaba luchando con los juegos, que a menudo complementaba. De acuerdo con él...

Avance rápido....

Nuestros días han sido una pesadilla total. Hollywood no podía escribir nuestros altibajos.
Pero seguro que podría glorificarlos ...

Salté sobre él y lo acosé. "¿No soy suficiente? ¿No soy lo suficientemente cachonda?"

Qué mejor manera que matar la masculinidad de un hombre. Por eso eligió el porno. Un odio por las mujeres. Por su confesión ... completamente equivocado, pero esto es lo que salió de mi asombroso corazón herido.

* Perdí mi barriga. Hasta 112 ... excepto, durante nuestras peleas ... mi esposo me hace pedazos ... no le gustan las chicas flacas. Aunque si fuera más pesado, estoy seguro de que pensaría que estaba demasiado gordo. Siempre es un estándar engañoso, ¿no?

He hecho cosas con él que no quería. Ahora ... estoy realmente bajo ... y él también. No se siente mejor. No estaban más cerca. Todavía estaban rotos.

Estoy más bronceado, más delgado, incluso más necesitado sexualmente que nunca pensando que es esta bestia que no puedo tener.

La mitad de la noche me acurruco llorando en una bola en el suelo. Sin embargo, se ha satisfecho de solo hablar conmigo ... llamándome un blanco, un negro.

Mientras tanto me miro en el espejo y pienso ... ¿sabes qué? Realmente podría alguien para apreciarme y tratarme mejor. ¿¿Qué estoy haciendo?? No soy feo, pero a diario me siento tan mal.

Pero ese es el problema, ¿no? La industria del porno odia a las mujeres. La belleza no es igual al amor ...

Así que la otra noche mi esposo se enfurece ... su rabia, ira, despotricas ...

"Te odio más que a nadie. Eres mi primera tumba. Eres mi problema. La pornografía no lo es. Estúpida perra, vete a la mierda. Estás loco".

Él también se ríe mucho cuando lloro.

Así que la otra noche le pedí que se detuviera. El no lo hizo. Tomé unas tijeras y me corté el brazo tres veces. No he hecho esto desde que tenía 24 años, ahora 31. No porque sea suicida, sino porque me da dolor físico para pensar en lugar de emocional.

Suplicaría que la mayoría de las esposas se sientan como estrellas porno abusadas. Excepto que nadie lo ve. Es mórbido que no está en la cámara y solo una persona obtiene placer de eso. Sin embargo, no lo hace. Se odia a sí mismo cuanto más me odia y así continúa.

Mis tutoriales de maquillaje en YouTube equivalen a las lágrimas de un payaso. Sentado en el suelo. Me han dicho que me veo como un Kardashian cuando me maquillo ... y pienso, pero me veo como basura ... usada en odiado en el piso del baño.

Me duele el corazón por las mujeres atrapadas en el porno. Duele mucho ... Solía amar a nuestros hombres y apoyar a nuestros valientes y honorables hombres. Ahora me pregunto ... ¿dónde están? ¿Quién se perdió de pie y protegerá a nuestras mujeres? ¿Nuestras hijas? Estoy tan triste de que nuestros hijos sean destruidos por el porno que luego se convertirá en hombres que destruyen.

Me alegra que hayas llegado a este punto. Mi esposo todavía no está allí todavía. Al menos no veo ... está en modo destruir, desviar, desacoplar. Todavía no se avergüenza de odiar a las mujeres. Espero por el bien de todas nuestras familias ... él llegará allí. Todo comienza con los hombres. Pueden acumularse y protegerse o romperse y destruirse. Por favor proteja a su familia. Protege tus ojos y tu corazón. [/ CITA]

Hola, he leído lo que escribiste y permíteme decirte que he rezado por ti, soy cristiano, no estoy casado, tengo 25 años pero todavía quiero aconsejarte lo siguiente:
Lee la Biblia y reza más, ya sabes, he pasado 80 días sin ver pornografía (aunque menos días sin ver pornografía) pero aún es difícil, pero no imposible, me siento muy bien al superar este desafío con la ayuda de Dios. , con respecto a que cuando dijiste que todo comienza con los hombres, espero que no quisieras decir que todo comienza con los hombres, porque sabes que el mal está en ambos sexos, y el mal comenzó con la rebelión del diablo contra Dios, te invito a que ores (pidiéndole a Dios en el nombre de Cristo), lea la Biblia, pero también pida consejo espiritual en su iglesia (a veces Dios habla a través de otras personas, pero recuerde que ese consejo espiritual debe ser sostenido en la Biblia), este bien que usted tiene buscó ayuda de este foro, pero también buscó su iglesia, hablando con un pastor o un amigo de confianza.

Sería muy útil saber si: su esposo es cristiano o no, si su esposo pide perdón por haberlo insultado, o también por haber visto pornografía, si usted o él o ambos saben que ver pornografía es adulterio.

en google puse:
preguntas (página web) qué dice la biblia sobre el divorcio, recuerda pedirle a Dios guía sobre si deberías divorciarte o no,Dios te esta enseñando algo con esta situacion pidele a el en oracion y orando en nombre de jesus que te guie.
escribi en google : womans can get divorced in biblie,espero eso tambien te ayude ,dejame decirte que eres una guerrera , te felicito por seguir confiando en Dios , por ahora yo te sugeriria que no tengas mas hijos salvo la situacion mejore , me volvere a conectar si Dios quiere.

 

Can you translate? English*** my husbands speaks spanish, but i don't.

 

This is a great post. I resonate with this post even though I personally haven't had a partner to explore with sexually. Everyone I see on a daily basis is a person, but for most of the women I know I simply consider them to be objects of sexual desire.I'm often ogling at these women even though I'm good friends with them and in the moment I only think of them as breasts and an ass. It sounds really fucked up, but for years I would deduce a woman simply into a tool for sexual pleasure. Women are more than that, and I'm unfortunately just starting to realise there's so much more to them than a few physical features.

 

listen to this sister, it might help you

 

I think this is a HUGE step for you to be able to acknowledge/sense/observe that through self-assessment.

I point this out to my husband, and he almost isn't aware his eyes dart straight to butts, or what have you.

He's finally starting to admit it, though frustrating before he'd deny all day long(he said he literally wasn't cognitively doing it, nor thinking about it after), he's paying attention and assessing his steps, his patterns, his cycles more now.

Having never controlled himself before, he confessed it's a new world for him to deny himself those glances. I didn't believe it before, but having watched him do this many times--I can see now how the behavior can come without a second thought.

It took him a while to own this, but I think it's a strengthening turning point to come to that place of honesty of the little things that add up.

As someone that doesn't struggle with lust, it's so natural for me to be so unaware in public that the only time I glance up is to pay for my things. My brain goes into list mode and I barely notice people...I try to reassure my husband that there is a "Normal" gage in controlling our eyes in public. Importance is given where importance is due...I think our eyes very much reveal that.

 

Hello, I read what you wrote and let me tell you that he prayed for you, I am a Christian, I am not married, I am 25 years old but I still want to advise you the following:
Read the Bible and pray more, you know, the last 80 days without watching pornography (although fewer days without watching pornography) but it is still difficult, but not impossible, I feel great to overcome this challenge with the help of God. , regarding that when you said that everything begins with men, I hope you did not mean that everything begins with men, because you know that evil is in both sexes, and evil began with the devil's rebellion against God, I invite you to pray (asking God in the name of Christ), read the Bible, but also ask for spiritual advice in his church (sometimes God speaks through other people, but remember that that spiritual advice must be sustained in the Bible) This good that you have sought help from this forum, but also sought your church, talking to a pastor or a trusted friend.

It would be very useful to know if: your husband is a Christian or not, if your husband asks for forgiveness for insulting him, or also for having seen pornography, if you or he or both know that viewing pornography is adultery.

in google I put:
questions (website) what the bible says about divorce, remember to ask God for guidance on whether you should divorce or not, God is teaching you something with this situation ask him in prayer and praying on behalf of Jesus to guide you
I wrote in google: women can get divorced in biblie, I hope that will also help you, let me tell you that you are a warrior, I congratulate you for continuing to trust God, for now I would suggest that you have no more children except the situation except, I will come back to connect if God wants.

 

Ehh, I'm an old wretch just like you. ;/ Our sin only hurts each other.
God never wastes a moment of trial and suffering. He works all things for the good of those who love Him. We live in a fallen world of sin, but there is hope in Christ Who alone replaces hearts of stone with hearts of flesh. Finding life in Him comes the promise of new desires with a new heart and the power to overcome sin in our lives.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, yet our inner self is being renewed day by day.
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison"(2corinthians)

 

Both. You can do both. Especially the prior. Letting it sleep and thinking everythings good is where self deception comes in.

I know Pure Desire Ministries has helped my husband break down thought patterns. It's biblically based like 12step, but not understood or aimed for only Christians just fyi*

 

Gotcha. Sorry, I misread that. Of course that was only one small example of a lot of other abuse, though.

I think you misunderstand what I was suggesting. Of course you submit to the word. But the word would permit you to leave an abusive spouse, or to stay and work it out. So your choice in which path to take should be directed by the Holy Spirit.

I'm gonna have to disagree with the implication that when you say for better or worse, you are agreeing to stay with someone even if they abuse you. I mean, does "for worse" also include rape or physical assault? Of course not. You aren't required to stay with an abusive person, just because you made that vow.

I agree with that. I think that's a little contradictory to what you just said about for better or worse including mistreatment, though. But we can agree to disagree on that I suppose.

 

Great question. The degree that a vague blanket word like "Worse" could be examined could cover many things.

I can only comment on my situation for the sake of time. The "worse" is apparent in my case. My hope is for God to bring about the "better". I've never been raped, or physically assaulted by my husband. Pushing, scuffling, sure....I've never been beaten, so perhaps that's something that needs clarification. If anyone is severely abused and thinks I'm condoning it in the name of faith, I'm not.

As for the verbal abuse...I lost it the last time he called me a "b*tch". I jumped in his face so quick and told him I had had it and was calling my mom. I told him I was done and will not allow him to speak to me like that one more day...

My mom came and mediated. He hasn't crossed that boundary since. After having a baby, and new hormones with a new pregnancy, we have just had the perfect storm for crazy making. Plus add quarantine....so there's a giant storm that has had to cease in these last 5 months.

I am not the wet blanket I was when I posted. I was just a mess. I feel more strengthened than ever, drawing healthy boundaries and building a healthy support system.

 

Oh and don't forget that try to talk about talking about the word of God to your partner, lean on the Bible together, you shouldn't break divorce for adultery, before making that decision you have to pray to God for guidance.

 

Courage, men, temptations also come to me, but be strong, I do not know if you believe in God, but I invite you to read the Bible it will give you peace, good that you have realized that many times we tend to dehumanize other people and It is true, have strength and how great you are in the forum.

 

Certainly a powerful point of view, if you put it into that perspective. The realisation that I’ve watched thousands of men and women naked and performing sex acts is quite shameful, but we should not repress ourselves to low levels. We must think of the future and realise that P is not something “normal” but an artificial representation of sex. These men and women are to “perform” but in reality, they are humans who deserve that element of humanisation. By cutting out porn, we can end the the objectifying of people through means by ending the consumption and the demand.